In The Clouds

You know that moment when you almost loose yourself…
I lost myself, distracted in the company of another
but I felt the hand of God yank me back to reality-
Like, no girl- I didn’t make him for you.
I sense that yanking right now, pulling me out of fantasy developed in absence and back into the reality of waiting on you.
I chuckled to myself because I knew that this Holy repellent was working,
and there was no need for any searching because I already knew the answer…
You’re my John Smith and I’m your dark-skinned Poca
and this isn’t some Disney story line that’s been manipulated by a creative writer,
but a poem penned by a fighter who have fought for the chance at your heart.
Darling, I can’t remember the last time I penned your praises- or the last time I smiled because I knew I was where I was supposed to be.
Shhh… your secret is safe with me.
I held my tongue and I’ve zipped my lips,
but on the inside my heart is doing somersaults and flips- with pure joy and excitement of what’s to come.
You’re the one.
OMG! I can’t believe I just said that aloud
My heart is so proud to be claimed by you.
I’m so shy and I’m such a prude,
cheeks blushing at my confession-
heart pounding by this truth session,
that even a serum could not confuse.
I simply have nothing to lose-
by being completely free and transparent,
because it is apparent that I am totally and incandescently in love.
And why shouldn’t I be?
I spent so many years emotionally beaten-
beaten my the winds of rejection and insecurities.
Tossed by high winds and violent seas.
Spent so many years asking “why me?”
so many that I am physically exhausted by that question.
No longer accepting suggestions,
on how to live my life.
Torn by envy, dragged by strife- so now I’m in this good place,
in this good head space- I choose to celebrate,
what’s been placed into my hands.
I take a stand,
and I say “yes” to you.
No matter what, “I do.”
And it is with this conviction,
with this detailed attention –
that I give my all.
I’m no longer scared of the fall,
as I jump off this cliff.
I choose to allow my spirit to lift,
me into the clouds.
As I wait to hear the sound,
of your voice beckoning me.
Darling, I am free to be,
in you.

©Simone Holloway, 2016

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