Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers-
Happy Pre-Christmas Week! I’m home for the holidays and I can feel the hustle and bustle of excitement in the air. It’s been a while since we’ve talked, so I thought I would share something with each of you tonight.
As I began to gear up for dinner prep, I began to think about the holidays as a whole. As many of you know, I ended a long-term relationship this past July. Before this final break up, I was stuck in this on again- off again whirlwind of a relationship. I spent seven years devoted to this rescue project, who did not acknowledge my own value to invest the same. It was a living nightmare. The sad part of this whole fiasco was every Christmas I would do the absolute most to convince him that I was “it.” It was as if in my mind the magic of Christmas would cure our toxic relationship. Slowly but surely, I awakened to myself, and now I am convinced that I deserve better.
Ladies and gents, this is the first Christmas in a long time that I am truly single. I mean single-single. I am single in my mind, heart, body, I belong to God and me alone. Christmas is not my favorite holiday because of whose attached to me (contrary to Hallmark Channel’s popular belief), neither does this holiday bring me joy because of who is sitting at my dinner table. Christmas is my favorite holiday because its the day God in goodness full of love gave the world a gift that was too good for it: His Son. He loved me enough to give me a piece of himself. And if the Creator gave himself so freely, why on earth should I have to beg someone to love me well? I don’t. Point, blank, periodt!
Friends, it took me seven years to learn that I deserved better. Seven long, teary-eyed, exhausting years. Now that I recognize my worth, I’m not begging anyone else to. I know that I’m beautiful, I know that I’m dope, I know that I’m wife material. I understand that I am God’s gift to humanity, that I’ve been fashioned in gentleness and grace, that my class and elevated thinking is one to die for. I know who I am. And this awareness of me has shifted my whole approach to relationships. Friends, know thyself! Recognize the goodness that lies within you and refuse to beg anyone else to see what’s inside- especially someone with no vision, no goals, no ambition and a little to no future.
Be too proud of yourself to beg!