Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers-
Happy Saturday! I hope your weekend is off to a great start. It’s unusual for me to share something with you on the weekends but I’m trying something new. I was in prayer last night when the Lord started talking to me about romantic relationships. Those that know me, know that I and the Lord talk about everything! Every. Single. Thing. He is literally my best friend and I’m forever grateful for His presence. Anyways… we were discussing the desire for romanticism and how when men come to ingrain us into their lives because it doesn’t look overly romantic, we (women) are not satisfied.
What if we got it all wrong? What if our “deal- breakers” in relationships are the very things keeping us single?
I was scrolling on Facebook when I began to see the plethora of new relationships memes just in time for the new year. They all start the same: “Sis, if he doesn’t do this then exit.” “If he doesn’t do this, then he ain’t it.” The internet requires men to do so much for relationships. He must text you good morning each morning, he must pay for dates, he must support every idea you ever had in your entire lifetime, he must be willing to be uncomfortable in meeting your family, he must be willing to eat what you eat, he has to work out the way that you workout, and he must be close to perfection – bringing and buying flowers at every single moment. Not one meme said, “Sis if he’s sharing his dreams and goals with you, he’s a keeper!” Goals and dreams are not really romantic. They are practical. However, what if courtship was designed to be practical? To be something built, planned and cultivated like anything else great. Just because a man is doing all these romantic acts does not mean that he loves you. He could be doing all of these staple things to get you vulnerable enough for sex. As women, sometimes we lose ourselves when we are shown a little attention. It is like as soon as the feels hit, all of a sudden, soberness leaves the equation of our dating relationships.
When you’re asking does he love me, ask yourself one question: Is he being vulnerable with me? Is he sharing his fears, his goals, his dreams, his to-do list? For if he is, he sees you as his partner and partners are practical!
I think we’ve been looking at our relationships wrong. As we embark in a new decade, let’s be brave enough to think differently. Let’s partner romanticism with practicality to build long-lasting relationships!