In Love With The Idea.

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers

I hope you all are having a great evening!  It’s been a great day for me and I am super pumped about sharing my thoughts with you.  Those who know me, know that I love films.  I love all films but I have a special place in my heart for black cinema, especially films that celebrate black love.  I’m the girl that has seen Brown Sugar way too many times.  I’m the girl that understands Darius’ pain in Love Jones; that wanted to fight for my man like Monica in Love & Basketball; and who knows how secrets can potentially kill friendships like in The Best Man.  Movies such as Just Wright taught me how looking for my preference can get me in so much trouble and Beyond the Lights encouraged me to believe that my person would indeed “see me.”  Unfortunately, life is not like the movies and sometimes there is no happy ending.  Sometimes we find true love and then sometimes we find ourselves in love with the idea of love.

I love love.  Yep, I love all things that pertain to love.  I love connection, friendships, familial and romantic relationships.  I love the way love makes us feel and how brave we are when we’re loved well.  I love hearing how people connected and about the exact moment, they knew their soul found its home in each other.  I love love.  Yet, it is this rose-colored ideal that caused me to confuse infatuation with love.  I would confuse my butterflies in the relationship to equate to falling in love when we all know that is not the case.  Love is more than desire, it’s more than that “can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars” type of stuff.  Love is sacrifice and commitment; it’s hella messy and full of risk.  Love is safety and vulnerability; the ability to just be with your partner.  That my dear is love.

Once upon a time, I was in love or so I thought.  I loved this young man and even considered marrying him.  I thought about taking his last name, and I thought about him being the father of my children.  In my heart, I convinced myself that I loved him.  And I did, in part. I loved the idea of him.  I loved the idea of him being my forever partner, the idea that I would no longer wake up alone.  I loved the idea that we would conquer the world together, that I would finally have a teammate.  The idea of loving him was so wonderful that I convinced myself that I loved him.  Since I was committed to my love of this idea when he lied or cheated- I forgave and took him back because I loved him.  He didn’t love me well, but I “loved”  him.  I remember realizing this as I prepped for a wedding and then I knew:  “homegirl, loving an idea will never make you love him fully.”   You can love an idea for eternity but that does not mean that this idea is great for you or your future.  Life is nothing like the movies, we cannot manipulate our situations to give us this picturesque ending.  Sometimes, things don’t work; sometimes, things do. You can’t force the fit, either it works or it doesn’t.

So I have a couple of questions for you:  Do you love them?  Or, do you love the idea of them? If you truly love someone, you will love them for who they are and not for who you would like for them to be.  Love says I’m down for the ride regardless of your brokenness, issues, strengths, and weaknesses.  Love says the real you is accepted with me.  Love says truth is more important than comfort.  Love protects, never gives up, and covers a multitude of faults.  Love is more than a feeling, it’s a choice.  A free-will choice.

So, do you love them or are you in love with the idea of who they should be?

Xoxo,

Simone 

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Seasons Change

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

This week has been a long one, better yet this year has been a long one- just looking forward to 2018.  I am the absolute worst at recognizing that things change.  I  can be in something for so long and not realize that the very thing I’m invested in has changed.  I add this to my list of faults, which include being a hoarder of individuals (relationships and friendships) , to my frustrations with the “process” that leaves me bee-lining for the door.  Today, I sat in my car and came to the realization that seasons change.  People change, situations change, opportunities change, and seasons change.

I realized that my aversion to change came from my desire for security.  In my mind, the steadiness of my relationships equate the level of security in my life. But this concept, is a false expectation placed upon mankind. Ultimately, our security can only be placed in God. People are fallible, they will fail us.  They will disappoint us, we cannot expect people to rock with us forever.  Some might say this is a very negative concept, or one shared by a pessimist- but I refuse to engage in this false hope that those around me are incapable of hurting me, in fact it is the people that are closest to you that hurt you the most.  I believe that once we remove the security we have placed in others, and we place it in God- it relieves us of the expectations that we’ve placed on these individuals to demonstrate stability in our lives.  Security in God makes us stable and stability within ourselves create our ability to withstand change.

Friends, I implore you to find security within the Father- for He is the only one that is stable and consistent.  He never changes!  This is the best news possible, because if you’re like me and you’ve dealt with the flakiest of them all- or perhaps you are the flaky person, it’s a relief to know that regardless of what happens, He won’t change.  On good days and bad days, He is still the same!  On the days we feel like superheroes and even in moments when we feel like villains, He is still the same!  Always and forever, He will be good.  Let these truths encourage your soul, and may you find that He is your rock (steadfast and consistent).

I love each and every one you.  I hope you all have a great evening!

Until next time,

Simone

FIC: http://cdn3-www.webecoist.momtastic.com/assets/uploads/2008/11/seasons-montage.png

Survival of the Fittest- Law Student Edition

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

It’s so good to be back, happy summer 2k17!  I survived.  Yeppers, I truly survived the fire and the flood and the hardship of a first year law student.  It’s crazy to think about the essence of survival, fighting against all odds and making it out on the other side.  To say that this year taught me a lot about myself, is an understatement!  This school year was one of trial and tribulation, stretching and growth… I can truly say that I have grown as an individual.

There is something so fulfilling about survival…about making it through something that you envisioned taking you out.  How rewarding is it to overcome??? To conquer what was designed to conquer you? In this moment I am reminded of the words of Jesus,  “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) When I read these words all I see is: no matter what, you’ll survive!  To think that I can overcome anything is not only encouraging but empowering!  Defeat does not live in the land of the Overcomer.

So today, I seek to encourage each of you to rise out of the valley of defeat and to choose to overcome.  Don’t give up, don’t throw in the towel- survive and overcome that thing that seeks to overcome you!

Until next time,

Simone

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Rejoice About What’s To Come

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers-

So…I applied for a promotion on my job and didn’t get it. There seems to be a recurring theme going on in my life where I would apply for something and not get it or not succeed in the magnitude that would expect. Envy and jealousy began to cloud my heart as I saw familiar names of those that got what I desired…but I rebuked those evil spirits and began to use my mouth to congratulate others. If the door doesn’t open for you then it wasn’t your door in the first place. As I get older I realize that what’s mine can’t be taken away from me, might be delayed a bit but it can’t be taken.  So the position wasn’t mine and I’m okay with accepting that. We need to come to the place in our lives where we only accept what’s ours and if things don’t work out- it’s okay because God has something bigger and better waiting for us. 

Stop mourning over what you didn’t get and rejoice about what’s to come.  Rejoice, because what’s coming can’t be taken away from you- for it belongs to you an you alone. Be encouraged friends and know that God’s plan is perfect even in the midst of our imperfections.

Until next time,
Simone

Simone Holloway, 2015

Awkward Family Gatherings

Hello Authentic Lovers!

Hey y’all!  I hope that you guys are having a great Thanksgiving holiday, I am too-kinda….. Well, you see- I am at the most awkward Thanksgiving holiday gathering to date.  I’m at my mom’s parents house and all of her family and even though we live in the same state, we aren’t as close as the other family members that live in town.  So I just pray to God that today doesn’t go terribly wrong.  I’m the only grandchild that has graduated from college with a real job and that’s kind of scary.  It’s like I have graduated from the kids table of my cousins and have entered adulthood to talk about boring things like paystubs and “making it”.  This is the first time that I have ever realized that there is a difference between me and my family members…like an unspoken rule about adulthood.  It’s so weird, so fam..please pray my strength!

great-seeing-few-thanksgiving-ecard-someecards

Enjoy your time with your family,

Mo 🙂

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