Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers-
It’s been a minute, but your girl has been exploring life offline. There is something magical about being present. I thought I knew the beauty of connection, but I discovered even more how beautiful it is to connect with another by lifting my gaze off of a screen and staring into another’s eyes. It’s simply breathtaking!
I think it is with that beauty that God looks at us. He sees us as a mess yet a work of art, and he delights in looking at us straight on. He is not intimidated by eye contact. He welcomes it. I used to feel super weird with eye contact; I think it was the fact that I felt vulnerable- open and wholly seen. Back then, I lived through the confines of shame. I was ashamed to be my utterly authentic self. Rejection from others is typically the lighter fuel to shame. When someone tells you that you’re too weird, too much, or not enough, hiding your true self becomes a habit of self-preservation rooted in shame. I was ashamed of myself: an empath who felt given and loved deeply. These first two years of this new decade taught me a simple truth: there is nothing for which to be ashamed. There is no need for me to be ashamed. Who I am is worthy of love and acceptance, not shame and rejection.
It took me almost 16 years to adopt this truth. That’s a long time coming, yet I believe God knew I would get to this place. I believe He orchestrated the events of my life to push me out of shame into freedom. The more I surround myself with those who are also unashamed, the more I am fueled with the courage to be the same. My hedge surrounds me with the love and support necessary to create safety in revealing who I am.
Revelation flows freely in safe spaces; safe spaces are the byproduct of authentic relationships.
I’ve learned over the past year that there is no need to reinvent the wheel. If we want to know others and be fully known, we must lay aside all manners of judgment and cover those we love in grace. Grace is the only thing that kills shame; it encourages authenticity and releases revelation.
I thought I knew a butt-load about relationships in the past, but I knew absolutely nothing. I know nothing now, but I am learning along the way.
I would love to leave you with this simple thought: the best gift you can give another is a break. Release people from the offenses of yesteryear, forgive quickly and allow bygones to be bygones. This thought is not a tool to gaslight abuse, neither is it a scapegoat to resume the responsibility of establishing healthy boundaries. This thought is simply a gift, a revelation learned in safe spaces that allowed for complete authenticity of self. People are flawed; let’s allow them the freedom to remain so.
Have a Merry Christmas, and hopefully, we’ll chat before the New Year!
Much love always,