In Love With The Idea.

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers

I hope you all are having a great evening!  It’s been a great day for me and I am super pumped about sharing my thoughts with you.  Those who know me, know that I love films.  I love all films but I have a special place in my heart for black cinema, especially films that celebrate black love.  I’m the girl that has seen Brown Sugar way too many times.  I’m the girl that understands Darius’ pain in Love Jones; that wanted to fight for my man like Monica in Love & Basketball; and who knows how secrets can potentially kill friendships like in The Best Man.  Movies such as Just Wright taught me how looking for my preference can get me in so much trouble and Beyond the Lights encouraged me to believe that my person would indeed “see me.”  Unfortunately, life is not like the movies and sometimes there is no happy ending.  Sometimes we find true love and then sometimes we find ourselves in love with the idea of love.

I love love.  Yep, I love all things that pertain to love.  I love connection, friendships, familial and romantic relationships.  I love the way love makes us feel and how brave we are when we’re loved well.  I love hearing how people connected and about the exact moment, they knew their soul found its home in each other.  I love love.  Yet, it is this rose-colored ideal that caused me to confuse infatuation with love.  I would confuse my butterflies in the relationship to equate to falling in love when we all know that is not the case.  Love is more than desire, it’s more than that “can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars” type of stuff.  Love is sacrifice and commitment; it’s hella messy and full of risk.  Love is safety and vulnerability; the ability to just be with your partner.  That my dear is love.

Once upon a time, I was in love or so I thought.  I loved this young man and even considered marrying him.  I thought about taking his last name, and I thought about him being the father of my children.  In my heart, I convinced myself that I loved him.  And I did, in part. I loved the idea of him.  I loved the idea of him being my forever partner, the idea that I would no longer wake up alone.  I loved the idea that we would conquer the world together, that I would finally have a teammate.  The idea of loving him was so wonderful that I convinced myself that I loved him.  Since I was committed to my love of this idea when he lied or cheated- I forgave and took him back because I loved him.  He didn’t love me well, but I “loved”  him.  I remember realizing this as I prepped for a wedding and then I knew:  “homegirl, loving an idea will never make you love him fully.”   You can love an idea for eternity but that does not mean that this idea is great for you or your future.  Life is nothing like the movies, we cannot manipulate our situations to give us this picturesque ending.  Sometimes, things don’t work; sometimes, things do. You can’t force the fit, either it works or it doesn’t.

So I have a couple of questions for you:  Do you love them?  Or, do you love the idea of them? If you truly love someone, you will love them for who they are and not for who you would like for them to be.  Love says I’m down for the ride regardless of your brokenness, issues, strengths, and weaknesses.  Love says the real you is accepted with me.  Love says truth is more important than comfort.  Love protects, never gives up, and covers a multitude of faults.  Love is more than a feeling, it’s a choice.  A free-will choice.

So, do you love them or are you in love with the idea of who they should be?

Xoxo,

Simone 

FIC: https://cdn.fstoppers.com/styles/full/s3/comment/2014/12/03/14457559557_1f3cd6643e_o_1.jpg?itok=cK8gQjUl

Things We Learn From Movies….

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers-

Have you ever watched a movie, invested in it and then at the end was left disappointed? Literally, my life ten minutes ago.  I checked out a new film, invested two hours and fifteen minutes into the film, but by the time I got to the end I was like “OMG ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?” It was as I was #AvengersInfinityWar’d all over again!  But, Ladies and Gents- that feeling of disappointment matches some of the relationships I chose.  I entered into these relationships:  excited, intrigued and overwhelmed with the hype of who their representative swore to be but by the time I got to the root of the substance that lied within the individual, I was quickly disappointed.  It’s nothing worse than wasting time, especially in people.  How many of us were attracted or intrigued by an individual and when push came to shove, was ultimately disappointed by what we invested into?  This is something, I’ve experienced and I these are the thoughts I would like to share with you.

So…why are we attracted to the shallow and insufficient?  Why do we jump all the way into things without testing the weightiness of it?  I think all of my experiences were rooted in fear.  Fear of being alone.  Fear of not connecting with someone in the same way.  Fear that nothing better will come along.  The crazy thing about fear is that it will have us dancing on the line of desperation, in an effort to control what’s next.  I think that we jump too soon because we’re scared that we’re going to miss out because of time.  Time like sand slips through our fingers and we feel this anxious clock hovering over us telling us who we should be by a certain year. I ran into relationships because of these fears and I was disappointed because I invested in something without counting the costs. I made decisions out of my fears and I was disappointed.  However, the Father promises that if we place our trust in Him, we will never be disappointed.  God choices do not disappoint.  Choices construed out of myself, feelings, and fears are going to disappoint me every single time.

What I love about God is that He doesn’t get mad at us if we choose wrong, but instead He reveals to us what we need so that we can choose right.  He does not disappoint us, we disappoint ourselves!  So… let us move forward and let us make the God-choice where it concerns relationships!  Let us choose what He desires and we won’t find ourselves disappointed.

“… those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” Isaiah 49:23

Xoxo,

Simone

FIC: http://www.patrickbetdavid.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/movies-red.jpg

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Hello Authentic Lovers!

As you may know…it’s really cold outside. EXTREMELY COLD.  I, being born a New Yorker and all, should be immune to cold weather or so I thought. I’ve lived in SC now for eight years and have become accustomed to a slight chill but nothing too extreme, but times are changing as it is becoming colder.   During this months of icy bliss, I find myself more and more in the house trying to get cozy.  Today, I am going to share with you my top five cozy must-haves, basically my winter survival kit.  If we share some of these must-haves in common, feel free to comment and let me know!  Ok….Let’s go.

#5- My favorite down comforter.  We all need that one comforter that is twice the size of our bodies and causes us to be surrounded from head to toe in warmth.  I have a comforter at home that is absolutely wonderful. It is beige with wine & green diagonal stripes on it..it is one of my favorite cozy must -haves. It’s nothing like the bedding on Parachute Home, but it’ll make a close second.  If anyone wants to make me happy this Christmas….I like comforters 😉

In less than two minutes, when I get in from work...I look like this girl.
In less than two minutes, when I get in from work…I look like this girl.

#4My Ultimate Movie Collection.  During cold days…I don’t feel like moving from my couch.  I basically live on my couch between the end of November and mid-February. Living on my couch, makes my life easier.  The TV, kitchen and bathroom are all in the vicinity of my lovely abode, making the need to move even more unnecessary.  If I am going to be lazy and hibernate during the winter months, I might as well go all out!  lol.  I might as well plan my life around my couch, right? 😉  Anyways…I have some ultimate favorite movies that I love to watch during my cozy day madness.  These movies include but are not limited to: A Cinderella Story, A Walk to Remember, The Hunger Games, 13 going on 30, One Night With the King, and basically anything else on Charter Demand.  

Yep...life just got real...
Yep…life just got real…

#3– A nice cup of tea. I love hot tea, probably more than the average 21 year old love coffee.  I love drinking tea, I love buying a new tin of tea and I love going to places that specialize in “tea” related things.  I love tea. So, on a cold day…I like to make a cup of blueberry and acai herbal tea, pouring this delicious delight into my favorite mug.   I have three tea mugs:  An hampton inn mug, a valentine’s day xoxo mug and my graduate mug( gift from my mom when I graduated from college).  I love these mugs and I love getting more for more tea days.

Yum...chamomile and mint, a perfect combo!
Yum…chamomile and mint, a perfect combo!

#2- A good book.  When it’s cold outside, I usually curl up with a good book and sip tea as I read.  I am currently reading: Crossroads by William P.Young and its pretty good.  I love Karen Kingsbury novels and probably own all of them.  I also like Terri Blackstock mystery novels. Reading allows me to escape the boundaries of reality for just a moment, feeding my imagination all of the wonderful possibilities of what could be in the midst of how life really is. Reading is one of my favorite pastimes, especially on a cold day.

Ooooo...I just love books!
Ooooo…I just love books!

AND FINALLY……*drum roll please*

#1: My Cozy Day Music Playlist: I love music and have music that reflects every weather pattern, mood, holiday that I could ever describe.  I have playlists on Spotify that are designed to reflect the day that I am having, therefore a cozy day playlist.  When I am having a cozy day; I like soft, mellow, folksy type of music that causes my mind and body to relax.  What do you like to listen to during a cozy day?

Spotify-logo-300x300Well, that’s it for my top five cozy-day must haves.  If you’re looking for a comfy comforter for your cold days, I would suggest checking out Parachutehome.com.  This company is based out of California (design wise) but all of the products are made in Venice, Italy( cool…right?).  Their products are made of Egyptian cotton and dyed naturally: making them environmentally conscious.  I love this company because of their great product standards and their appreciation for the environment.  If you are still looking for great Christmas gifts or you would like a new comforter for more cozy days, check out http://www.parachutehome.com/collections/bedding.  Enjoy your cozy days and have a Happy Holidays!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gxTpPwcvFsw/US7LJqedZII/AAAAAAAAFjo/KxT3bUlrimw/s1600/Bridge+snow.jpg

Image 1: https://loveandfat.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/down-comforter-woman-wrapped-upcc-300×240.jpg?w=370

Image 2: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maeghyQCHV1r7769mo1_500.png

Image 3: http://s9.favim.com/orig/131027/hipster-hot-drink-indie-tea-Favim.com-1018830.jpg

Image 4: http://ocw.mit.edu/courses/literature/21l-003-1-reading-fiction-dysfunctional-families-spring-2007/21l-003-1s07.jpg

Image 5: http://diymusician.cdbaby.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Spotify-logo-300×300.jpg