Seasons Change

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers- 

Happy Wednesday!  I’m so sorry, I know it’s been a while since we chatted.  I’ve been incredibly busy. Between my job, an increased workload and a lot of new responsibility, life has been slightly overwhelming.  I work for an agency that help people in need.  Did you know that around the holidays, evictions are at an all-time high?  Yep, crazy right?   I talk to people all day who are in crisis situations.  It’s so disheartening, yet it’s fulfilling when our agency is able to provide the help that they need. Friends, I’ve been leaning into grace more and more.  Anyways, today, I wanted to share my thoughts about how quickly seasons change.

Once upon a time, a couple of months ago actually, I was sitting with the Lord complaining about the inactivity of my life.  I remember carrying on about how I wished things would pick up.  As a born-bred city girl, I do not know how to rest. I am a bonafide go-getter who is always looking to what’s next:  the next project, the next adventure, the next creative idea.  I am fascinated with the next and I live future-oriented.  This can be good sometimes in that this mindset keeps me from being bogged down in my past.  However, this trait can be terrible because it causes me to miss out on all the beauty that lies within my present. During those few months, my life was still- I mean really still.  I would describe it as boring.  I complained and complained some more.   I was not satisfied with the sweet stillness of my present.  Ultimately, my season changed.  As soon as I became comfortable with stillness, activity returned back to my life and now I am busier than ever.  I mean EXTREMELY BUSY! I can’t remember the last time I took a nap.  My alarm goes off at 6 in the morning and I don’t see my bed again to about 11pm that evening.  I’m on the go.  Yet, it is now that I yearn for those sweet moments of rest.  Now, I appreciate stillness.

Friends, I think the moral of this share-fest is to find contentment in the here and now.  Enjoy rest, honor rest because rest lasts only a short while.  Honor activity, learn from your busy seasons because you’ll need the vibrancy in life to make you yearn for sweet stillness.  God being so balanced in everything he does, orchestrates our seasons to what we can handle.  He teaches us about ourselves and he reveals his goodness in the process.  Trust Him and find your way with Him. This go-getter appreciates a day off and has found peace in knowing that the work can wait.

May you find balance and come to appreciate each season in your life.

Xoxo,

Simone

P.S.  Since my life is a little hectic, please know that I love each of you.  I will respond to your emails, DMs, and other forms of communication as quickly as I can.  Bear with me and know that I’m praying for you all always.  Much love!

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RIP Forever.

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers- 

Happy Friday! I would have written earlier but the way my week has been set up… all I can say is that the devil is defeated, God is exalted and honey – I GOT THE VICTORY!!! The test that came at the beginning of this week? Almost took me out! But loves, your girl passed the test!  It’s crazy how hell can come full force on Monday and victory can greet you on a Friday morning.  Jesus is so intentional and good in that way.  Anyways… I thought I would share one of the beautiful lessons I learned this week.  Loves, allow your past to rest in peace forever. 

What?!?!  Yep, I said what I said.  LEAVE YOUR PAST IN THE GRAVE!!!!!! I cannot write this enough.  I’m learning that every time I am called by God to a new level in life, my past “coincidentally” want to make a reappearance in my life.  It’s like clockwork.  People I haven’t spoken to in years, “conveniently” desire to reach out.  Individuals who held some sort of position in my heart decide that they would like to make a return; and what was dead decides to spring back to life.  EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. 

Friends, as you know I left a relationship over a year ago.  God killed my relationship for multiple reasons.  My relationship was good but it wasn’t great.  I knew that I wasn’t going to marry the guy and to continue in the relationship would’ve been a complete waste of time.  So ladies and gents, I took every ounce of courage I had and with the help of the Father- I broke up with the love of my life.  Yep, your girl had the hard conversation and left what I thought was my forever. For the past year and some change, I’ve been enjoying this adventure of singleness; I’ve been finding myself and learning to love me with nothing added (aka a man).  Well, a lot has changed in a year.  I graduated from law school, took the bar exam, and I’m transitioning to a new city for a career opportunity. So being sent from hell, this joker wants to make a reappearance.  Yep, the man that told me that I wouldn’t find what I wanted in a partner, that everyone could not be as perfect as me, decided to “conveniently” show up.

Imagine my face, when I picked up a phone call to find his voice on the line.  It was a classic:  WHAT THE —–? Yep, saints, I swore.  I did.  I was so confused that I almost didn’t even know what to say.  I stared at the phone and thought to myself: “Girl, how are you going to finesse your way out of this one?” My heart responded to his voice.  History and sweet nothings will remind you of a love you once shared.  Like an old blanket, full of comfort and nostalgia, all the memories of us filled my mind.   Some of you may be saying:  “Sis, that’s true love!”  FALSE- THAT’S A SOUL TIE.  A neglected little thing, that I may have overlooked in the cutting process.  I said hello, and asked what he wanted.  He responded with a classic lie: “I missed you.”  I would miss me too, I mean your girl is out here living her best life looking like a whole meal.  I said  “Ok.” Like what am I supposed to do about that? That seems like a personal problem to me.  He kept going, “I just wanted to talk to you.  I made a huge mistake.  You’re the one for me.  I need you in my life.  I want to marry you.”  My jaw dropped because for years I wanted to marry this man.  Can you imagine thinking that 3 years in is the time, then year five comes and no proposal, and finally, your relationship is over by year seven.  Instantly my past started contending with my future.  All of my fears started to speak at the same time:  my fear of starting over with someone new, my fear of getting in the game and facing rejection and then this one fear of never meeting someone who would “get me” like my ex.  I had a choice to make.

I gathered all of the courage I had and simply said: “I’m good. Thank you for calling and for sharing your heart with me but I’m not interested. I think you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy and though we made each other happy once upon a time, that is not the case anymore.  I wish you the best and overall, you’re not the best for me.”  This, of course, wasn’t good enough for him because then he decided to remind me of the dreams we had together.  He reminded me of the businesses we were going to own, the home we were going to build, and the son we would raise.  Lovelies, I remembered those dreams.  Once upon a time, I prayed over those dreams, I fasted over those dreams.  Heck, I even journaled about those dreams but that was then and this is now.  Those dreams died when the relationship did.  I took a deep breath and once again stated my heart: we could NEVER be together again.

Dr. Matthew Stevenson preached a sermon a few years ago and he said a profound line, “To return to the past is to dishonor the future.”  This saying has become my lifeline.  It’s easy to return to the past.  Our past is familiar, consistently toxic and maybe even comforting within its dysfunction but it requires no courage.  It takes courage to go after something or someone new.  It takes guts to try again,  to develop a new pattern and to solidify a new path.  I don’t want to live life stuck because of my comfort.  I want to experience the goodness of God because I was brave enough to leave the past behind.  Plus, if I return to my past I can miss out on what God promised me: the future.  I don’t want to dishonor my future, holding on to someone who lacks the capacity to carry all that God has placed within me.  We must honor our future by abandoning our past!

So, friends, if I could encourage you with anything, I would encourage you to leave your past dead.  Don’t return to what you’ve left behind.  You’re worthy of your future!

Xoxo,

Simone

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Random Ramblings of a 21 Year Old Girl

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

I’ve been procrastinating all day about what I wanted to blog about but I decided that instead of planning something, I would just write out of a stream of consciousness,  That’s right, whatever comes up is coming out on this digital page to be shared with each and every one of you. lol.  So I’ve been thinking about a few things that I thought I would share.

Here are a few of my ramblings:

(1) I don’t really understand why people read my writing, really I don’t understand. Like why would anyone choose to hear what I have to say?  I know that sounds self-deprecating and I promise I’m not fishing for some compliments but sometimes I’m like why would I read my blogpost, you know? I  was never the best writer.  I remember being in school and doing awful on my English papers because my grammar was never the best.  I always felt like people never got me as a person, they never understood me or what I was trying to say.  So to see that people are actually reading my thoughts…simply dumbfound me and makes me wonder.

(2) I cry every time I hear Christina Perri’s “Thousand Years”.  Every single time, and I don’t even know why,  It’s like on cue- when I hear the song, the waterworks come.  Crazy, huh? I’m watching “The Voice” and this guy starts singing “Thousand Years” and I almost loose it. lol. Like, full emotional breakdown…I think I need therapy.lol.

I was going to take over the world...

(3) I’m going to the Bahamas in April and I can’t go until I don’t look like a swollen mess in my bathing suit.  When my mom told  the family that we were going to the Bahamas, everyone was like “Yeah…Bahamas..sweet!”, I was like “OMG I have to lose weight to look good in the Bahamas.” Shallow? Maybe, but absolutely true moment!

(4) My next date needs to be at an actual restaurant.  You know, the places where you have to sit down and look at a menu?  A place where its customary to leave a tip?  Like…an actual restaurant!  Don’t get me wrong, I love the spontaneous picnics and home-cooked meals, and trust me I love coffee dates and festivals- but I would actually like to sit down and enjoy a meal that neither one of us made together.  I’m just saying!  A dinner date is long overdue 🙂

restuarant

and finally because I could go on all night…

(5) So I was watching Dancing with the Stars and decided to tweet as I was watching…man, folks can be mean where it involves their favorite TV programming.  I was trying to be nice but honest and thought I was mean, but after looking at some of these comments- I had not even scratched the surface. I think it’s so funny how easy it is to hide behind one’s social media and forget the the people we talk about has feelings too.  Celebrities have feelings too, so let’s be kind on our social media.

So those are my ramblings for the night…I’m pretty exhausted and we’ll talk soon. If you have any random thoughts you would like to share with me, please comment below!  

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

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