“The what-ifs are the worst and they come without permission. They come without warning. Like all terrible things with no mission but to distract, the what-ifs always come. They come and suck the life out of a person, leaving them drained of happiness, courage and grit. I was contending against the possibilities of things taking a turn for the worse. I was fighting against moments that did not happen, against that which was still unknown. “©Simone Holloway, 2020.