A Lover of Love

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers- 

I hope you all are having a great Saturday.  I love love, but I realized that I don’t love it as much as the one who created me.  God loves love.  Like for reals… God loves love.  So much so, that he desired someone to love deeply and that is why he made us:  man and woman.  He wanted to love and to be loved.  I think that is why we all have this innate desire to be loved because we were made in the image of our Creator.  So, we have a God that has everything, a huge house, streets made of money, angels who serve on the regular and there is still something missing- us.  To fulfill a need, God created mankind to love him, each other and all that he has placed into the Earth.  How beautiful is the understanding that God made us to love us?  He didn’t need any more servants, he had plenty (angels); he didn’t need any more beautiful things, he made so many (stars, flowers, etc.); he didn’t need any more houses, he had a huge one with a shiny throne on the inside; he didn’t need any more money, for his streets were made of gold.  But there was one single need, God needed someone to love.  He needed someone to lavish love upon, to demonstrate love to, he needed someone to love well.  Because of this and this alone, he created you and I.  I was created because God wanted someone to love. 

When we come to the place where we see our Heavenly Father as a lover of love and not a beacon of hatred and terror, it is then that we can appreciate the sacrifice of his Son.  We get so caught up at seeing God as this hard taskmaster, waiting for us to mess up- hating us for what we do that we lose sight of the reason by which we were created.  We were created to love and to be loved by Him.  Do you know why God hates sin?  I mean, really know?  It’s because sin creates separation between us and Him.  When God created Eden and formed man in the garden, scripture speaks of a time where man and God were not separated.  He was our homie, hanging out every waking moment.  I could imagine, man and God fishing together or taking walks on the nature trails, or even sitting up late to count the stars- all TOGETHER. As soon as Adam and Eve ate that dreaded fruit, they were aware of one of the biggest evils known to man: BAD SEPARATION.  Think about it:  all criminal activity results in bad separation. When we steal, we separate the owner from their possession.  When we kill, we separate that person from their loved ones, co-workers, and just the world.  When we engage in adultery and various sexual affairs, we separate a person from a covenant they made with their partner.  All pain stems from some type of bad separation: whether separation from joy, peace, trust or happiness.  GOD NEVER DESIGNED OUR WORLD TO BE FILLED WITH SEPARATION FROM WHAT’S GOOD.  However, this is the mission of sin.  Sin is designed, advertised and encouraged to breed separation from God and good and its biggest hype man is the thief, the accuser, Satan.

I bet you’re like whoah, wasn’t expecting the Sunday School lesson and that may be the case, but I’m sharing all of this so that you all may gain a deeper understanding of the one who designed you, who formed you and called you good.  It is my desire that you may know Him and know Him rightly.

So,  we have this Lover who made us to be loved and here we are loving everything but Him.  I mean we love our jobs more than Him, we love our significant others/spouses more than Him, we even love our pets more than Him.  Though He designed us to be loved and to love Him well, we don’t in fact- many of us aren’t even submitted to Him, yet He loves us anyway.  I remember a time in my life when I loved everything more than I loved Him.  I mean, I sought for things to replace His spot in my life.  Time progressed, people entered my life and people left but yet He was still there seeking to love me.  How beautiful it is to be loved consistently.  His love didn’t waver because of my behavior and I didn’t have to work to earn His love,  He freely gave it time and time again.  His ultimate goal is a relationship that would stand the test of eternity.  He desires that there would be no separation between Him and me.

This is the One whom I live for. An honest guy who loves love, who hates sin because it causes separation and who desires to love and be loved by me.  This is the core of who He is.  Every other quality, trait, and characteristic is like a beautiful bonus: icing on the cake to the solid foundation of who He is.  May you rest in the simplicity of his decision to love you.  He decided to love you before he made you, seeking to demonstrate his love for you throughout each day of your life.  Bad things happenI know and the question comes, if God loves me why did this happen?  This is the question I’ve asked multiple times, but then I came to the understanding that God is not the orchestrator of the bad things in my life.  He’s not out here seeking to make me sad, or to destroy my esteem or to take life from me.  There’s another presence at work, super jealous that God loves me with all of my flaws – so he works overtime to cause me to doubt this love I was given.  The thief comes to steal, kill and to destroy and he is responsible for the evil we see in this world.  “For I have come that you may have life, and life more abundantly.” (Jn. 10:10)  God desires that I live and that I live to the fullness, only someone who loves us can hope so deeply that we live well.

I am loved.  I was created to be loved.  I was created to love God.  I was created to love others well.  This is the core of why I am here, this is who I am. 

Xoxo,

Simone 

FIC: https://www.jashow.org/articles/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/garden-large.jpg

This Is Love.

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers-

I hope all is well.  I’ve been swamped with the routine of life.  The top threes: Church, School, and Work, these things seem to consume my time, energy and attention.  The older I become, I realize that life is not about things and places but rather about our love relationships with people.  The way we love a soul lasts for an eternity, whereas position, prestige and the riches of this world will only last a lifetime.

For a substantial portion of my life, I believed the life that  I was not good enough. That me, with nothing added, was not enough for those who loved me.  Since I did not love myself properly, I did not love others properly.  Unless they could offer me something (self-seeking) or add something to me- then I wouldn’t invest or love wholeheartedly.  The day I realized that I was enough: just me and not the “me” with all of the stuff added, was the day that I realized that those around me were valuable and substantial within being themselves (with nothing added).  I was no longer seeking for others to add to me because I was complete and whole in Him.

Love is being whole. For God is love and He is whole all within himself.  If we live life loving Him, He teaches us how to love ourselves and others.  He makes us emotionally stable and mentally sane.  I’ve got it wrong for so many years, but as I wait and place my trust in Him- he proves over and over again that He loves me.  Not for what I do but because of who He is and His relation to me.  I am his and this pure acceptance is love.

You are loved simply because…

Xoxo,

Simone 

FIC: https://alwayspushforward.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/godislove.jpg

The Aftermath of Creativity

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

I don’t know about you all but sometimes I just erupt into this ball of creative energy.  It’s like everywhere I turn, my desire to create increases and my concentration upon the task at hand decreases.  It’s very rare that you meet someone who is full of creativity and logic at the same time.  I was talking to my brother about myself and I said, “You know bro, I’m full of contradictions- housing both boldness and insecurity. I’m a walking oxymoron.”  I think those who hold creative mindsets, ideas and etc are walking oxymorons- mixed with things that don’t make sense but just happen to work! 

But what about after I’ve hit the high of creation, well I quickly become super sleepy for a few days.  It’s like my body can only handle the creative process for 24 hours and then I am drained longing to recoup so that I can do it all over again.  I believe that is why the Father longs to teach me rest because even he at the height of his creative power- he created man and was so as I could imagine it drained of himself and decided to rest. He took that seventh day to rest! He placed everything he could into the creative process and then recouped to begin the process all of again. 

Wow, that’s encouraging! God placed all of himself into the creation of us that is was imperative that he rested. So what is the aftermath of creativity, I would argue that it is the necessity for rest!  Creativity fuels the necessity to rest and when we operate and create but don’t rest we burn ourselves out before we can relish in the work of our hands.  So, I encourage you all to create, accept the contradiction that you are and embrace the ability to rest- for God being love and judgment, fire and cloud, peace yet a man of war teaches us that contradictions are not only good but difference should be celebrated. Create yet rest! 

Until next time, 

Simone 

Fic : http://drwillsparks.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/creativity.jpg

Hanging Out….

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

Happy Thursday!  Thurdsdays are wonderful because they mean that we are a few days away from the weekend.  I hope you all are having a great day!  I have a confession to make- I HATE the way my generation enters into relationships!!!! LIKE, I REALLY HATE IT.  Maybe I’m just an old soul, but I am so attracted to the way my parents and grandparents approached dating, marriage and long-term relationships. A term that just irritates the heck out of me is this new form of dating entitled “hanging out”. OMG that phrase used in the romantic context drives me up a wall…

When someone tells me they want to “hang out”: my mind goes platonic/ friendship, casual clothing, chill-mode.  To me, I have no incentive to place any effort into the interaction that I may/may not experience.  SO… when a guy asks for my number and then ask if we can hang out, I’ve already placed them into the friend-zone.  I hang with my friends and I date potential significant others. This notion of I’m going to monopolize your time, require effort to test your potential without placing in effort myself, and expect girlfriend benefits without the label is very damaging to relationships.  Like, back in the day- if a guy wanted to date you or pursue something romantically with you- like, he asked you out on a date.  He planned the date.  He picked you up for the date, maybe opened doors for you and made you very aware of his intentions with you.  Today, the conversations are like- “Let’s hang out, maybe grab a bite- not really sure.” “I’ll call you, maybe- probably text you and we’ll meet up maybe.”  It’s so fickle.  Like: one day you’re digging me, one day you’re not.  One day you want a relationship, one day it’s too much for you and you’re confused.  Like bruh, it’s not that deep!  Let us not continue to waste time.

So, I’m not feeling this hook-up culture  masked under a common phrase “hanging out.” Dinner dates never go out style, chivalry is still a cool thing to have and phone calls are so much better than text messages.  And guess what?  Having standards is awesome too!  Let’s hang with our friends and date those we develop feelings for.

***Side-note:  I think this “hang-out/faux dating/hook up”culture is rooted in this deep-seeded fear of rejection by both men and women and this was like our band-aid to remedy the situation but that’s another blog post for another day… ***

Until next time,

Simone

FIC: https://68.media.tumblr.com/14b12f2b311c7d597871fc52fb2d650d/tumblr_omlm7zde3m1ujcvduo1_500.gif

 

You Are Enough

Hello old friends, new followers and  fellow bloggers-

I wonder how the world would look like if we loved people for who they truly were and not for who we wanted them to be.  Just think, what would our relationships look like  if we chose to accept our significant other in their entirety?  Would we be happy?  Would our relationships last?  I think the number one problem in relationships is the lack of acceptance towards one’s partner.

Many enter into relationships viewing their partner as their latest rescue project, an avenue of change, and not as a human being deserving of unconditional love.  I used to be so guilty of this, entering into relationships with this mission of changing the person I was with to fit my needs/desires.  This mindset misses the mark of why we enter into relationships in the first place.  We choose to journey with someone so that we can learn from them and vice versa.  We enter into relationships so that we can love someone in their entirety and in return we receive the same or a greater level of love. There is nothing worse than being in relationship with someone and not feeling like you  are enough- like you can’t be your true self with that person.

For years, I spent so much time hiding myself  from those I loved.  I was so afraid that I would not be accepted as I am, and in turn I picked up all these “rescue projects” along the way infused with a spirit of judgement.

There is this amazing verse that speaks of giving mercy, for the same measure of mercy given is the same measure of mercy that we’ll receive.  I think that we should do the same in our love, we should love people for who they are.  We should embrace them for who they are and not strive to change people into who we desire for them to be. When we go into our relationships seeking to change that individual, we are telling them that they are not enough for us just the way they are.  Our words or actions communicate that these individuals we swear to love are not: good enough, kind enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, and etc.  After awhile our significant others are knocked out of their throne of awesomeness, their empire of confidence and begin to question what makes them special and unique.  This is not the message God wants us to share with the world.  He made each of us different with different talents, gifts, features and etc.  He created us to accept our difference, to wear our awesomeness with pride- to Him, we’re enough!

So… I don’t know who mishandled your heart or who made you feel like you would never be enough, but I just wanted to let you know that YOU ARE ENOUGH FOR GOD.  He loves you for you.  His love is not contingent upon your job, GPA, swag or even your family connections.  He loves you for you.  If God who has a higher standard than us, love you for you- why can’t your significant other do the same?  I spent way too much time compromising myself so that others would like me, so that this guy who is only occupying a small margin of my existence would give me the time of day- but as I grow older: If I cannot be myself then I do not need to enter into relationship with that person.  I rather be true to myself than compromise who I am.  I’ve realized that I am enough and that those who love me must love me for me.  Point blank period!

Well family, I hope this encourages you. Always be reminded that you are enough and you do not have to abdicate your throne for anyone. Sit on your throne and rule like the QUEEN/KING you are.  Much love!

Until next time,

Simone

FIC: https://66.media.tumblr.com/f2feb3194450a36f2e2082b3d053b660/tumblr_noji4jKBNf1tf8ykeo1_500.png

 

Cuffing Season

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

So I was reading the Skimm, which is by the way is AMAZEBALLS… anyways, I was reading my daily dose of brief and concise news when I saw a line stating that it was cuffing season.  I was like, “what the heck is that?” If you guys do not  know what I am talking about, “cuffing season” is what most people call Fall because it is the time people hook up, get into relationships so that they can survive the cold weather with a snuggle buddy.  No lie, this is like a common practice.  I’ve seen more relationship posts, complaints of singleness and “ride or die” memes in the last 3 weeks than I have in a long time… I even found myself thinking about my relationship status and then was like, “Girl, GET YOURSELF TOGETHER!”  I’m too much of a BOSS to sulk about not having a “man” in my life.

Can you imagine a grown woman giving herself a pep talk, with full dialogue?  Jesus take the wheel, but sometimes you have to encourage your own self in the Lord. So my lovely family and friends, I bet there are some of you out there questioning God, like “When is it going to be my turn?”  Trust me friends, I bet that is one question God hears a lot.  I can imagine the Father in heaven anticipating those words throughout the day.  I know I’ve been guilty of uttering those words, “When am I going to meet my one and only?”  Friends, I even tried to make people fit that description in my life.  It never goes well, you cannot make someone fit into a God-ordained position not created for them.  And I’m worried that some of you, caught in the hype of this relationship focused season , are gonna find yourselves cuffing with the wrong person- creating soul ties with those who mean you no good.  You can’t force someone to love you, and you can’t force someone to step up and be who you need in a partner.  Wait on God.  Yeah, yeah I know those words are super cliche and that sometimes these are the words that cause anger to build quickly- but, please I beg you : Wait on Him!

Trust me, when you wait on God – things work out better!  When you try to do it yourself, things go wrong quickly and painfully.  I saw a meme on Insta the other day that made me laugh so hard.  It was a side by side of Beyonce in her VMA  dress  and another dude in a dress that was a hot mess trying to match Yonce’s slay with the caption “When you wait on God and when you try to do it yourself.”  I laughed so hard, it was so funny because that was one of the most accurate memes I’d seen in a while.  When we try to do things ourselves, we mess ourselves all the way up- but when we wait on God, He gives us the best and make His promises reflect beauty in our lives.  I’m not cuffed to anyone and to tell you the truth I don’t want to be.  I rather freely love than be bound and hooked to the wrong person.  I want to journey life with someone and not have to worry about them being faithful, or worry about them respecting me as an individual.  I don’t want to compete for their attention or try to make them care about me deeply.  I’ve been there, I’ve done that.  I’ve played the game and I lost miserably, because I operated out of myself and I did not wait on God.  So I know first hand from experience, it is better to wait on God than to try to create things for yourself. Wait on Him!!!

Ladies, watch who you cuff with and be careful who you choose to be your snuggle buddy! Like my momma/grandma use to say, “If you lay down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas…” *sips tea* Be careful, darlings, be careful because you only need to give your heart to the wrong person one time, and it can mess you up for a long time.  So from one sister to another, watch and pray less you fall into temptation….

Anyways, love yourself.  Be confident.  Be content. Stay at ease.  Your time will come soon and when it does you’ll forget these moments you felt alone.  I love you guys so much and I’m praying for y’all.  We’re going to get through this together!!!! 🙂

Until next time,

Simone

BTWs: Start a hobby, get involved in your community, go out and have fun.  Boaz is not in your house, he’s out and about – go to the grocery store, you may meet him there. lol. Love y’all ❤

FIC:http://www.hercampus.com/sites/default/files/styles/full_width_embed/public/2014/10/13/cuffing-season-103013.jpg?itok=JWqExRj2

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In The Clouds

You know that moment when you almost loose yourself…
I lost myself, distracted in the company of another
but I felt the hand of God yank me back to reality-
Like, no girl- I didn’t make him for you.
I sense that yanking right now, pulling me out of fantasy developed in absence and back into the reality of waiting on you.
I chuckled to myself because I knew that this Holy repellent was working,
and there was no need for any searching because I already knew the answer…
You’re my John Smith and I’m your dark-skinned Poca
and this isn’t some Disney story line that’s been manipulated by a creative writer,
but a poem penned by a fighter who have fought for the chance at your heart.
Darling, I can’t remember the last time I penned your praises- or the last time I smiled because I knew I was where I was supposed to be.
Shhh… your secret is safe with me.
I held my tongue and I’ve zipped my lips,
but on the inside my heart is doing somersaults and flips- with pure joy and excitement of what’s to come.
You’re the one.
OMG! I can’t believe I just said that aloud
My heart is so proud to be claimed by you.
I’m so shy and I’m such a prude,
cheeks blushing at my confession-
heart pounding by this truth session,
that even a serum could not confuse.
I simply have nothing to lose-
by being completely free and transparent,
because it is apparent that I am totally and incandescently in love.
And why shouldn’t I be?
I spent so many years emotionally beaten-
beaten my the winds of rejection and insecurities.
Tossed by high winds and violent seas.
Spent so many years asking “why me?”
so many that I am physically exhausted by that question.
No longer accepting suggestions,
on how to live my life.
Torn by envy, dragged by strife- so now I’m in this good place,
in this good head space- I choose to celebrate,
what’s been placed into my hands.
I take a stand,
and I say “yes” to you.
No matter what, “I do.”
And it is with this conviction,
with this detailed attention –
that I give my all.
I’m no longer scared of the fall,
as I jump off this cliff.
I choose to allow my spirit to lift,
me into the clouds.
As I wait to hear the sound,
of your voice beckoning me.
Darling, I am free to be,
in you.

©Simone Holloway, 2016

Secret Room

There’s a secret place,

a hidden room within the confines of my heart-that few can get to.

It’s in this room where all of my dreams and inner desires are held.

Held captive…

It’s here where the truest form of myself resides…

A place that is hard to find, a room that is hard to unlock- a place that fills some with shock when they choose to burst open it’s french doors.

It’s here that if opened, smiles are decoded and translated into beautiful messages of love and compassion for you.

It’s crazy how one can sit among you and not truly know your heart- nor be able to see the light and the mercy that consumes your being…

But with you, there is a feeling that is freeing –

since you know exactly what each glance means in conversation -without hesitating to confirm that we’re on the same page.

Perfect love casts out all fear and now I am unafraid because out of many,

only you could find my heart’s secret room.

©Simone Holloway, 2016.

FIC:http://i.shelterness.com/secret-doors-into-hidden-rooms-3.jpeg

 

 

 

Valentine’s Day

Today marks a  day for love

love without partiality and hypocrisy….

I’ve tasted of this love & I

with all of my might – extend

this love to you.

One thing is surely true,

nothing can separate us- our hearts

sewn together as one.

A great prize, we won each other.

It’s a day when I remember my eternal gift

love unconditional, from glory to glory…

changing the very story of my life.

To  a husband, I would become wife.

And to a galaxy, stars in the sky

completing creation’s purpose of beauty.

It’s today that I see…

I am blessed.

Blessed beyond measure,

no matter the stormy weather…

Because this love have given me

sunny days…

Maybe I’m in a love haze.

As the smoky glory of God wraps over our being,

in you, His love is freeing-

making forgiveness, easy and breezy

and beautiful

you are suitable…

for me.

©Simone Holloway, 2016

©COVERGIRL, 2016

FIC: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/57/98/3f/57983fcb0715b293fd6094acfda3f9a6.jpg

 

 

Recurring Thoughts

When I started a new journey,

I thought of you.

When I was broken and when I was lonely,

I thought of you.

When congrats was in order,

I thought of you.

When my ears only heard bad news,

I thought of you.

When my life flashed before my eyes,

I thought of you.

As the death mobile laughed out lies,

I thought of you.

When my dreams fell and shattered into two,

I thought of you.

When I lost myself in the chaos,

I thought of you.

When I became overwhelmed in life’s rush,

I thought of you.

As glass crashed all around and Bella said goodbye.

As rejection letters flooded my mailbox- and I cried out “God, why?”

As I leaped into and out of relationships and my confidence went down the drain.

As I pulled myself out of depression, and promised I wouldn’t be the same.

As  I walked across that stage and entered into the world.

As my heart was played over  and I was no longer anyone’s girl.

As my sister disappointed me so and ministry broke my spirit.

As truth was sung around me but I was too stubborn to hear it.

As my plan didn’t match God’s plans and my life turned into a wreck.

As I bounced back and learned to trust in the midst of havoc.

I thought and I prayed and I tried not to think of you…

I tried my hardest not to dwell on you while I was in the storm,

while sadness became my norm.

While I felt worthless and through, I tried my hardest…

not to think of you.

But even now as the sun break through life’s stormy seas

and good weather touch the inner workings of my heart by small degrees.

And as life turns unto a favorable street,

and  as I make sure my face is beat-

Darling, I think of you….

You are and forever will be in my recurring thoughts.

©Simone Holloway, 2015

Featured Image Credit: http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2013/04/thoughts-on-black-and-white.html