Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers-
What’s up family? Happy Friday! Ladies and Gents, I’ve been in this really dope space where I’ve returned to the dating market. Let’s just say that dating in 2019 is interesting, to say the least. What I’ve learned in my short time back on the market is that we live in a culture that is obsessed with determining attraction. We present our best selves on dates to be seen as attractive. We speak on relevant subjects to appear to be intellectually attractive. We make sure that we have a dope sense of humor because that would make our personalities more attractive. So, the men I’m meeting look amazing on paper. They have the chiseled looks, they are super smart and can even make me laugh but there are communication issues that make them less attractive.
You know, when you’re a boss you need something more than a great resume. You need something more than a piece of eye candy- something more than something delicious to look at. There has to be more! I don’t know about each of you but I’m looking for something deeper. What are his values? What are his dreams? What is his vision for life? Yeah, the degree is great but what are we doing with that. Yeah, the nice car is impressive but how do you treat the poor? Ok, I see you’re the hotshot here at the parties but what is your reputation like in the marketplace? Do you have a reputation of integrity or is it corrupt because of compromise? There has to be something more.
I’ve met so many representatives. I’ve met the all-around guy, I’ve met the creative, I’ve met the musician, and I’ve met the one with the ten-year plan but as I lifted the curtain of what’s been presented to me, I saw that these dudes had some real issues. They do not know how to communicate their desires. They do not know how to let go of their past. They do not know how to express their insecurities. These dudes had everything but wholeness. So, I resolved in my heart that I was going to add emotional maturity to my list. The thing is, I don’t blame these men for not entering into wholeness. Their whole lives, men have been groomed to shy away from vulnerability. They’ve been taught to communicate through physical intimacy instead of verbally expressing what is on their heart. They have been gender-shamed for expressing feelings and ridiculed for being clear and that is not right. I blame society, I blame the culture, and I blame the home.
Do you know what’s attractive? Emotional wholeness. Emotional wholeness is hella attractive. The ability to express vulnerability, to boast in weakness and the ability to state clearly what a person will or will not allow is attractive. Standards are attractive. Boundaries are attractive. Clear communication is attractive. Radical honesty is HELLA attractive and it makes a person extremely sexy. The ability to be direct, concise and thorough is attractive. Integrity is attractive. Faith in God is attractive and the ability to hear and obey the voice of God is attractive. A fun,. down to earth person is so attractive.
Do you know what’s NOT attractive? Our dysfunction is not attractive. Our inability to communicate is not attractive. Passive-Aggressiveness is not attractive. Nagging is not attractive. Being overly critical and nitpicky is not attractive. Being a Debbie Downer is not attractive. Deception is not attractive and presenting representatives instead of being ourselves is not attractive.
Be yourself. Be more than a good resume. Loves, be attractive!