Open.

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers

“Be Open.” That is the instruction ringing in my heart.  All of my fears are contending with the Lord in the form of what-ifs, yet in kindness, He repeats himself once more: “Open your heart. Open your heart to love.”  Tears stream down my cheeks as I realize that I’ve been closed to the idea that someone will actually love me.  Fully.  To tell you the truth, I’ve just fully accepted the idea that He loved me fully.  I just became content with that phenomenon; that in spite of all of my mistakes, weaknesses, and shortcomings, this great God was in fact deeply in love with me.

My heart resisted but the instruction remained the same, “Open your heart. Open your heart to being loved.” “But God” my heart persisted, “What if he hurts me?” The instruction remained the same, “Open your heart.  Open your heart to being loved.”  “But God.” my heart pleaded, “What if this breaks me worse than last time?” The Father remained gentle, in pure kindness- he stated one more time, “Love, the choice is yours. But darling, I’ll ask again – Open your heart.  Open your heart to being loved.”  I sat on my couch and I heard his gentle voice like oil caress my spirit and I had a choice to make.  Either I would open up and take the risk of pain or remain closed and ultimately alone.

At the end of the day to trust in the instruction of God is to ultimately trust in Him.  To trust Him requires the hard thing:  it requires facing our fears, it requires confronting our doubts, it requires trying again at the thing we think we suck at the most.  For me, love.  I have this obvious track record of failed relationships, of apparent heartbreaks.  I have this rap sheet of ugly moments and countless memories of love lost.  I am a woman who has made peace with her regrets yet fear gripped me when I heard his voice.  Fear came to remind me of my past and shame came as a drinking buddy ready to cosign me into self-sabotage.  Yet, here comes Holy Spirit: kind, gentle and full of truth with one simple instruction.  Be Open. Open your heart to being loved. 

So, here I am completely open and vulnerable and just plain scared but willing.  I am willing to be open, I am willing to be loved.

I have no idea where this heart journey is going to take me.  All I know is that I am committed to obeying sweet Holy Spirit’s instruction.  I am committed to being open and to keep my heart open to being loved. I am willing and my heart says “Yes.

Until next time,

Simone 

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Love Gives

“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life.” (John 3:16 MSG) 

Hello Authentic Lovers

Christmas is the most celebrated holiday, aside from Halloween- there is something special about the spirit of the Holidays.  It is as if people are nicer around Christmastime.  I don’t know if its the carols of good cheer, or the emphasis on tasty desserts or if its just the idea that someone is going to do something nice for you for a day; all I know is that Christmas can bring the best and worst out of individuals.  I love Christmas, it is my favorite holiday aside from my birthday.  I love singing the songs, decorating the tree, baking cookies and just the sheer joy that comes around the holidays…but like others I can get caught up in things that don’t matter around the holidays: money and things.  We have all been guilty of being caught up in material things around the holidays, desiring the next big thing and forgetting an attitude of gratitude.

But…does this make giving gifts bad?  I say: absolutely not!  The first demonstration of true love, came in the form of a gift- the gift of the Son of God.  This is why I believe that gift giving is most appropriate for this holiday.  Over 2000 years ago, God gave us something so dear to His heart- He gave us His son (only son).  Can you imagine giving someone your child?  Your only child?  I can imagine the Father’s heart being bittersweet; sad knowing that He would be separated from His child for a season, but after remembering the purpose being filled with joy.  Jesus was given to us so that we can have real life, life that is never ending or limited by the trials of this world.

In the next three days, your hands will be filled with gifts of the newest technology, clothes and accessories, and possibly a pair of socks but the greatest gift you will have the chance to receive is the Jesus Christ, the son of God.  God himself has given you His Son, nothing else compares to that.

I know that some of you aren’t believers or profess any salvation/relationship with God but I just want to let you know that the epitome of love was a gift, the gift of Jesus Christ.  Anyone can have this gift and when you accept Him – you’ll live, truly live.  If you would like to accept Jesus, all you have to do is talk to Him and tell Him that you want Him to live in your heart forever and He will.  Anyone can belong to the family of God.  After you invite Him into your heart, find a group of people you can journey with ( we were never created to live this life alone- we were created for community) and take time to learn more about Him.  Sometimes we can open a Bible and it seems dense, so I encourage you to read in a version that you can understand.  Jesus has a friend that He gives you with Himself called the Holy Spirit, receive Him too because He is going to help you experience this life in a deeper way.  Every year we acknowledge the gift of Jesus, but this year let’s open Him up and experience our lives with Him.  

Always remember: love gives….

Until next time and Happy Holidays,

❤ Mo

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I Wanna Be…

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers –

I haven’t spoken to you all in a little while.  Life has been super crazy hectic and when we think things die down, they began to pick up even more.  I’m sitting in my living room, worship music is lulling me into a state of peace and I decide that tonight I would like to share my heart with each and every one of you.  There is a few things that we aspire to be: successful, beautiful, wise; just to name a few but I aspire to be blameless.  I don’t want to be the one that is constantly struggling with secret sins  and addictions, but  I want to be free so that I can free others.  We free those around us with the testimony of our overcoming, but if we never overcome – we stay stuck and are useful to no one.  We are not useful when we are stuck.  

I don’t want to sound harsh, I understand that people go through things…trust me I get it.

I’ve dealt with anything you could ever imagine and then some, but I don’t want to be in the same place I was three years ago.  I don’t want to be in the same place I was two weeks ago, not even the same place I was yesterday.  I want to be constantly changing, no longer a slave to sin but a servant of God- living a life above sin and reproach.

Today, all I hear about is “the struggle”.  The struggle with the lusts of our flesh, greed and avarice, pride and arrogance, even the struggle with identity and truth; but what happens when the struggle is over?  Do we ever overcome these things we have been battling for so long? Can we ever be blameless?  I’m reminded of the scripture that says that Christ is coming back for a bride without spot or blemish, a blameless bride- one without sin, yet I look at the bride and we are full of sin.  The sins of evil thoughts, talking about our brothers and sisters, quenching the Holy Ghost and etc.  The bride of Christ at this very moment is full of sin…

I know that I will not reach perfection until my Lover comes to present me to the Father, but does that mean that I stop striving toward perfection?  Does that mean that stop striving for freedom?  Freedom from lust, perversion, guilt, shame, malice and hatred?  Freedom from the “big” sins and the “small” sins?  Since the Lover of my soul has not returned yet, does that mean I stay bound to sin?  Bound to something that is tormenting me on a daily basis?  Do I stay stuck?

I wanna be blameless…I want God to be able to look at me and say “her heart is pure before Me”.  I want to be clothed in His Righteousness and Holiness.  I want to look like the Son, I want to reflect Jesus.  I wanna be blameless….

Many are asking that they be successful.  Many are asking that they be rich.  Many are asking that they be famous.  Many are asking that their name be in lights and known to all the world.  All I want in this life is to live a life that is pleasing to God- holy and acceptable. I want to live life free from the bondage of my past and past mistakes.  I want God to see me in the image of His Son, blameless..

I refuse to work in ministry and battle depression/suicidal thoughts.  I refuse to preach to others and engage in perverse behaviors such as pornography/ extramarital affairs and etc.  I refuse to be over the children’s church and don’t believe a word that I’m teaching.  I refuse to be over Sunday School and be addicted to prescription pills, drugs and alcohol.  I refuse to minister “Jesus Saves” and pray for the whole nation and be entangled in secret sins and addictions because the same God that can save my family members  and friends should be able to save me.  We cannot free others unless we are free ourselves…We have to be blameless.

I know that this piece is not going to be the most popular article written but it’s the sharing of my heart with you.  I share my heart because I have placed trust in you all – you guys are my blog family.  This is my wish for myself and therefore I do not impose my standard upon you but as for me – I want to be reunited with the Lover of my Soul and He’s only going to receive me if I’m blameless.  I love you all and have a blessed night!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

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