Masks & Monsters

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers- 

It’s Halloween aka costume day!  As a believer, I do not celebrate Halloween.  However, my timeline is full of cute pictures of little munchkins in costume.  As I was sitting in meditation, I started thinking about the concepts of masks and monsters.  Halloween is all about dressing up, eating candy and all things spooky.  This causes children to dress up as monsters, zombies and to cover their beautiful faces with masks as they play pretend.  However, what if we were pretending every day besides today?

Think about it. When was the last time you felt the freedom to be who you really are?  I mean the “real” you.  I think that we wear masks all the time.  When someone asks us how we are, we lie and say we are good.  When we ask someone how they are, we hope they will lie because we don’t have the time or capacity to handle their truth.  We are a society that encourages pretend.  Heck, we have a whole holiday dedicated to this very concept.  Being oneself is less favorable, but becoming like the ones we admire is encouraged.  Everyone wants to be the next influencer.  Everyone wants to have the most traffic on IG.  Everyone wants to appear to be living their best life.  These ideals create monsters, emotionally unstable members of society that cannot communicate truthfully what they desire.  It’s hard, to tell the truth when you’ve committed to your fantasy.  It’s easier to ignore red flags when you’re dedicated to the lie.  Our love for masks has created monsters.

“Well Simone, that’s a little harsh.” Yes, it is.  Just because something is harsh does not make it less true. The more I live, the more I see the epidemic of inauthenticity.  It is a disease to hide oneself to please those who did not create you. Dishonesty is like cancer, it destroys originality.  We were created in the image of God, each beautiful and unique.  We were given “difference” as a superpower, a weapon against a world system built on conformity.  Why are we conditioning ourselves to forfeit our superpower?  Our weapon? To pretend to be something we were never designed to be.  For the longest, I believed the lie that being myself was not enough, but the more I step into who I am the freer I become. Authenticity and radical honesty bring a level of freedom that’s dangerous to our world. So, loves you must stay dangerous!





I remember being prompted to write to you.

To unleash all of my thoughts and to direct them solely to you.

But fear came in, and I determined

that I could not bear such a weight of honesty.

I did not want to face this insecurity,

so I remained silent.

Yet, I could not continue to hide that…

my mind remembers you.

My mind is also convinced that 1+1=2…

that one day there will be

the two of us, freely

engaged in a relationship with one another

and not just simply together.

My mind and not just my heart is shipping us on the daily.

To tell the truth, you’re to blame

because since our first meeting I haven’t been the same

and that’s when fear and doubt came…

and I silently watched you forfeit the love game.

Hmmm… isn’t it crazy that after all the time that’s gone by,

after sleeping under different parts of the skies,

after absent vacations, birthdays and graduations,

after new jobs and new life situations,

after twists, turns, life unexpected promises,

after suicidal attempts and divine God-visits,

after years of addictions and brand new shoes,

after realizing that life was more than being cool..

I still cannot forget about you.

Trust me, I tried.

I stood in the mirror and lied,

said that I didn’t love you anymore.

I went too far in my confession, I even swore-

to those that loved me dearly and to those who witnessed my pain.

I promised I wouldn’t choose you, because I didn’t want you to break me again.

But my mind doesn’t care because I remember:

Indian and Thai food, Lakers, “Lebron, the princess!”, Christmas 2012, Phoenix (Parisian boys), “I’m destiny, you’re looking at it”, bagging contest, CNC galore, food science degrees, brewery dreams, “Sept. 15, Don’t forget!”, fields and fields of broken dreams.  July 10, 2011,> hands clasped at the altar.

I remember and I tried desperately to forget.

For 5+ years, every moment I’ve had in life has found a way to connect to you.

So… I know I’m intelligent, but maybe I’m a fool.

Because even on your worst days- I still want to be with you!

Maybe this is grace personified in me,

maybe this is love, maybe this is being free.

Maybe this is compassion bestowed liberally…

all in all, still remains the question of what to do.

Yes, I’ll admit it.  I never stopped loving you.

©Simone Holloway, 2018



Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers

Happy Thursday! It’s a wonderful day filled with reflection and revelation for what’s next.  Here are a few updates before we dive on in:  1) I’m a rising 3L – this law school journey is almost over and it’s time to go out with a BANG! 2) Out of faith, I find myself letting go of things that I once found security: job, friendships, etc. 3) I learned all about the plan of God being demonstrated within seasons of pain: trust me, I understand and we’ll discuss soon!  But for today… *drum roll please*  I would like to share with all my heart concerning inspiration and the lies that tell us that we lack some.

21.  Twenty-one represents the number of journals that are in my possession.  Some are big, some small, some are fancy and some plain but all of them are filled with dreams, ideas, visions, and hopes for the future.  Some of the journals are filled, others not so much but they are full of life and creativity breathed upon by the Father.  One journal holds a manuscript, one is reserved strictly for songs and both bring me so much joy as I ponder on His goodness.  For the past three or so years, I fell for the lie that I had nothing to say or that I lacked inspiration both utterly untrue.  The fact that I’ve found something to write about every day for the past six years or so counteracts these beliefs.

The fact of the matter is, the more I move forward the more I recognize the lies I’ve believed for so long. As I embrace this recognition, freedom comes to remind me of who God says I am and all he has destined for me to do. I am equipped to do what he has ordained because within him lies all I need for my assignment. In the words of my pastor, ” I’m a sure thing because he is sure!” If I could encourage you with anything, believe what the Father says about you and move toward all that He’s promised for His life!




To Be Known For Our Love

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

I just got in from a hectic day; filled with surprises, tasks and just the mundane routines of life. It was a day that kept me on my toes but I am now exhausted.  I am so tired and I’m going to enjoy going to bed early.  I just read something interesting that I thought I would share with each of you.

1 John 4:20 says ” Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.”

This provoked a topic of conversation that I wish to invite you my fellow friends into: Christianity and Racism.  I talk to so many people who claim to love God and follow Him, yet they hate others based upon their race/ ethnicity.  I think John makes a great point in that we see people everyday, of different shades of pigment/ complexion but we have yet to have seen God.  If you have seen God, please inbox me – share your experience with me!  Please do, because I long for the day I will reunited with the Lover of My Soul face to face. If I can love God and I haven’t seen him, how can I not love my neighbor who I see everyday.  John calls those who claim to do these contrary things, a liar: one engaging in falsehood.

I am very passionate about the love of God and I believe that God loves everyone.  He loves us whether we are black, white, yellow, brown, purple, blue, etc… He loves the flaws we hate, He simply loves us and He extends this love through the companion of His Son. If I am a Christian, as I say- I follow/believe and obey Jesus Christ.  Christ did not come and die only for a particular racial group- He died for all.  When we get to heaven, we will not be separated, but will have to live in peace and harmony with individuals who do not look like we do: God made it that way to promote love between all men.

So racism and hatred in the Church should not be.  God is a God of love.  He’s a God of judgment but He is love and He loves mankind,even when we don’t love or accept Him.  He loved us so much that He gave everything for us to be able to have a relationship with Him.  Where sin separated us from Him, His love reunited us through the sacrifice of the cross.  Who are my brothers and sisters? Those that do the will of God, regardless of their complexion, language and culture.  Those are my  brothers and sisters.

It’s time for the church to speak out against racism/hatred and to show the world that we are to be known by our love.

Jesus said “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (John 13:35)

How do you know if you are a disciple of Christ? Check your love for those around you….

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

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Don’t Touch That…

“Don’t eat from that tree”, God said

Don’t eat or you’ll die-

But the fruit looked so good

It was so ripe

Red, plump, desirable

The fruit looked so good

Walk away…walk away

he saw me

he sought me out

slithering and hissing

he spoke to me

deceit dripping from his lips

“God didn’t say that…”

God doesn’t want you to be like him

Eat and enjoy

Why would God keep you from something that makes you happy?

Why would He say no to something good?


That’s not the person you know

So eat and be merry

With a weak heart and a hungry stomach

I became enticed

enticed for the forbidden 

for that pleasure

forbidden pleasure

Don’t touch that

Or you’ll die

I could hear my conscience

speaking to me….


but…I couldn’t resist

I took

I ate

I gave it to my husband

He ate

We realized that we were naked

The serpent smiled

All hell broke loose 

(c) Simone Holloway, 2014 

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