She’s Dead.

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers

I bet many of you are looking at the title of today’s blog and you’re like “What???” But what many of you do not know,  is that a piece of me died today.  Yep, a portion of myself that held me back, that kept me stuck in the rut of my past, that caused me to lose hope/faith in God- that thing/piece died.  That fearful, anxious, timid girl died, and I’m happy that she has been laid to rest.

It’s insane to belong to Christ, yet still live like the world.  Right?  Why buy into this new way if you’re still going to experience the same old troubles and hardships?  Why work to never enter rest?  As I grow in my faith with God, I realized that the way I was living my life was never what he intended.  He did not design me to be stressed, extremely exhausted, malnourished and utterly miserable.  God did not save me so that I could have a miserable life, but this was my life day in and out- miserable.

 I was saved to be filled with joy, to hope in something bigger than myself, to live full out fearless and free from anxiety.

I was a bound daughter, living like an orphan, striving and working in my own strength to make my dreams come true.  Due to this life, I suffered greatly: mentally and in my physical health.  Yet, in grace and mercy, the Father never disowned me but in gentleness and compassion he beckoned me to himself and loved me anyway.  Though I was still the girl who was afraid of living, he still loved me.  Even though I still found myself in the rat race of life, he still loved me.  Even though sometimes I got it wrong: said the wrong thing & did the wrong thing; he still loved me.

It was this love that kept pushing at my fortress of fear,  it kept smashing against its doors, looking to destroy it once and for all.  For His perfect love casts out (banishes) all fear!

When I became a Christian, He promised that I would be a new creature that the old things of life would have no more effect on the new that was to come.  I lived as a ghost of my former self: afraid, anxious, lonely, depressed but my new self is none of those things.  My new self is fearless, full of trust, at rest, loved well, and full of joy.  So today, as I was talking to the Father, he explained that the season I was in was one of the old dying so that the new could come.  So today, I make a declaration in faith that the old person: anxiety-ridden, fearful, striving, lonely, depressed, and overwhelmed is dead.  She died and she no longer exists! I am now fearless, bold, confident, trusting, at rest, in peace, full of joy and optimism, at ease, and never alone for He abides with me.

Goodbye old, may you never resurface again.  Thank you for teaching me about my strength, thank you for showing me that there was more to life than what I was living, thank you for being my past- for my past led me to Jesus who gives me the authority to proclaim my perfected future.  Goodbye, good riddance, may you rest forevermore!

Hello new, may you spring up!  May I perceive you all the time, rest in you, and long for you.  May I never become content with settling with what I’ve already seen when there is so much more to come.  I welcome you, I identify with you, I identify as you: new.  I rest in you, for you are a gift from my Father to me.

Until next time,

Simone (new and improved🦁)

FIC: https://image.shutterstock.com/image-photo/tombstone-graves-ancient-church-graveyard-260nw-508109173.jpg

Scriptural Citation: 1 John 4:18; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Isaiah 43:18-19

Also, a link to what the word casts out is in Greek and what that means, it’ll provide better understanding and context to the scripture referenced.  (1Jn 4:18)

https://www.biblestudytools.com/lexicons/greek/nas/ekballo.html

Oozing With Words

Hello old friend, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

I wish I could say that I’ve always had the right words to say, or that I was always confident to speak my heart, but that is not the case.  I remember times, having so much to say but not knowing exactly how to translate my pain.  I remember moments of feeling incredibly numb, lacking the motivation or the passion to write my truths.  It’s crazy how pain makes us silent.  It robs us the freedom of bold speech and instills within us the fear of being misunderstood or hurt again.  So, to make sure we don’t experience pain again, we become silent.  The last blow to my heart almost took me completely out emotionally.  I remember doubting my words, my actions, my friendships, my family, my ability to be loved and to love.  I remember the pain of betrayal gagging me.  I remember word curses binding me, words such as “you’re not good enough.” “Oh really, you want to sing?”  “Do you really think you can write that?”  words uttered by those close to me: those I served with, those I called my Columbia family, those who were once my home.   I was dropped as a daughter, dropped as a sister, dropped as a friend and it was at no fault of my own.  So here I am, gagged by pain.  What’s even more bizarre is that I served through it.  I served through my pain.  I gave through the pain.  I danced in the midst of pain.  I sang songs of victory while bound.  I was mentally and emotionally at a standstill with God, numb by pain.

Over time, fear became my portion.  I lived in fear because I saw life through the lens of regret.  Regret causes us to doubt everything, to come to a standstill, to live in delayed obedience ( which is simply disobedience), and to become hesitant concerning everything.  Regret turned into unforgiveness, and unforgiveness turned into bitterness except I was bitter against myself for opening up in the first place, for placing expectations upon people that did not have the capacity to carry me, for desiring community that I did not see that this community was more toxic than helpful and bitter for trusting my own instincts.  In my mind, I couldn’t trust myself so I stopped advising, writing, singing, encouraging, and speaking.  I became mute.

I went to Charlotte a few nights ago, a young woman began to pray for me and encouraged me to forgive myself.  She said these words: “You have not been treated well as a daughter and God knows that it was not of any fault of your own.  He wants to heal that heart pain where it concerns sonship.”  I broke down in tears because for the first time in a long time, she saw my pain.  She spoke to my pain and all the words I wanted to utter began to ooze out to the Lord.  Her intentional prayers destroyed the gag of pain and released me to a place of tears and healing.  I’m oozing with words because pain no longer binds me.  I am free to express my heart and I’m healed to share the story of my pain with each of you!

Friends, I don’t know where each of you is in life.  Some of you may be like me:  serving through pain, some may be experiencing pain now and some of you may be alright and that is great! For those who were feeling like me, I want to remind you that God sees you.  He knows all about your pain.  He knows what they did.  He knows what you experienced.  He invites you to forgive, to open yourself to his healing voice and he invites you to freedom from heart pain.  He wants you to ooze with words of life, no longer gagged by painful experiences.  I pray that he speaks to you and that you will be healed!

Xoxo,

Simone

“Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul” Proverbs 16:24

FIC: https://2pobaduekzw9jt9a-zippykid.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/honey.jpg

Condemnation Eliminator

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers – 

Today is has been a great day, made some mistakes that I’m not too proud of but overall today was great.  Even though today was great as mentioned prior, I found myself consumed with the awful things I had done.  Isn’t it just like the Enemy to keep the past over our heads when forgiveness was already given and received.  Condemnation and shame clouded my thinking and I begin to think of how much I failed in a short period of time.  This is usually the beginning of the downward spiral that results from what I believe are BIG mistakes.   I began to pray as I tugged with these feelings and afterward the Holy Spirit spoke to me in such a sweetness…“Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus who walk after the spirit and not after the flesh…(Romans 8:1)” I knew the passage of scripture and hope immediately filled my heart.

Condemnation.  The expression of very strong disapproval; censure.  This is feeling that surrounds us after we do something that is very wrong.   It is as if we can feel the shaking of God’s head, disapproving our very essence.  Some of us have convinced ourselves that God believes He made a mistake in the creation of us, because we mess up- time and time again.   Some of us have convinced ourselves that God wants nothing to do with us after what we’ve done.  Some of us have convinced ourselves that God no longer hears us, we’ve sinned way too many times and our privilege of conversation has been revoked based upon our behavior.  We have have convinced ourselves of things that are NOT true.   All of the statements above are lies that we believe, lies that we have fell for over time.

What if I told you that God was not surprised by your mistakes? Neither was He alarmed when you “failed” in your own definition of the word? What if I told you that  God was willing to not only talk to you but to forgive you and help you get back on track? What if I told  you that God chooses to forget about your mistakes and the only one keeping you hostage to them were you?

When we repent and choose to do what is right, God cleans our slate and create a new chance for us – this my friends is grace.  Grace is our opportunity to get it right this time and it is because of grace that we can live our lives free from shame, guilt and condemnation.  Our mistakes become the avenue to our restoration – creating a platform of God’s love & forgiveness with others.  Without our mistakes, we would not have the experience to share the hope of forgiveness with others.  Sometimes we treat God like we do others, we expect him to have limits to drop us when we do awful things- but God is not like man.  He does not drop us because we mess up from time to time, instead He draws us closer so that His love can change us and  make us into the great women and men He desires for us to be.  Your mistakes are your messages of hope and restoration to others. Share graciously!

Until next time,

Simone

FIC:http://66.media.tumblr.com/3e357d63254984645e76d2fdbc3f1c28/tumblr_ns4bhvtsuq1tjj2sjo1_1280.jpg

 

The Call For Salvation

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

I received this message in my email that I thought I would share from you.  This email was sent from Neil Vermillion and I thought that what he had to say this morning was great, it expressed God’s heart to bring salvation. Disclaimer: *The speech of the text is written in the format of God speaking to humanity.* I believe we have men and women among us that are prophets, mouthpieces of God- speaking to humanity God’s heart, will and intentions.  So here it goes!

“At times I speak in riddles, in symbols, in pictures, in mysteries. And everyone demands an answer, demands an interpretation. But where have you been in years prior? Why have you been so distant until this day? Why do you not respond to the tender, soft, and gentle voice in which I speak? Why do you ignore these, and why is that you will only turn your ear when catastrophe and calamity come to your neighbor’s door?

For so long I have called out to you, and so long I have remained patient. And still, even today I remain patient. But let me encourage you, do not delay. Do not hesitate to come to me, to know me, to love me, to allow yourself to be changed. For these matters are important, and you so easily trade important, for that which is unimportant. And still you do not listen.

But my love for you is great. My commitment to you is great. My faithfulness to you is great. And I will redeem. I will restore. I will rescue, and I will save. In spite of mistakes, rebellion, and deception, I have come to save. I have come to restore the breach, to repair the broken fences, and to heal. So though you find yourself on the wrong side of the fence, trust in my goodness and in my heart save, for it is still not too late.

Regardless of the mistakes of your past, my redemption is so much greater. Regardless of how you have lived, I can save. So step out from where you are, and engage your heart with mine. I will not turn you away, but will embrace you as my very own. I will welcome you with arms wide open, standing and looking from a far distance waiting for your return to me.

And when you come, I will not shame you, or reject you. I will wash and cleanse you. I will give you fine garments and new shoes. I will put a crown upon your head, and a ring upon your finger. We will sit and dine together. And you will be filled and my joy will surround you on every side.

So trust in my heart for you, because my love for you is great. My desire to rescue is great. My patience is great. So come to me, and do not delay. For I will not turn you away, but will welcome you with my arms wide open.”

So, no matter where you are right now in life- God is extending himself to you!  Please comment below with your thoughts and hopefully, I will speak to you all soon!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

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