Create Boundaries

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

You know? For a relationship blog, we don’t speak a lot relationships.  So I thought that tonight’s post would be about dating relationships, courtship and etc.  Do you know what was my biggest mistake in the majority of relationships I entertained? My biggest mistake was allowing everything to just be- I never created boundaries.  That is how I ended up accepting crappy behavior from the guys I considered or was engaged into a relationship with.  I thought my mom was being old-fashioned with her variety of rules: Don’t pick up the phone after 10, require a dinner date, have him pick you up from your home, etc. “Psshh…she’s crazy”,  I would say.  “There’s no way someone is going to want to date me with those stupid rules.” I would scoff as I broke the rules for a guy. But as I become a young adult woman, I’ve come to appreciate these little rules that establishes a standard.  After working an eight sometimes nine hour workday, I don’t want to be on the phone after 10:30.  I’m too tired to hold an actual conversation and therefore I’m not alert concerning what is being told to me.  What good am I in conversation, if I am not listening? Create boundaries.  There is this stigma that having standards are going to result in loneliness.  Au contraire my dear, having standards will weed out all the good for nothings and land you a good for something.  What is the point of dating someone who cares nothing about your worth as an individual?  Who has that type of time to waste?

We have lied to ourselves.  We have convinced ourselves that we have to lower ourselves to be accepted.  The mere fact that we think devaluing ourselves equal acceptance reflect the overall low self-esteem that is echoed in our society.  Creating boundaries is good for our body as well as our soul- there needs to be a clear line that few get the privilege of crossing.  When we create these boundaries  and love without partiality- we will find people’s treatment of us changing.  My beautiful young queens, stop throwing your crown of gold to the ground in order to accept a crown of twine.  Come on my beautiful queens realize your place in the kingdom of God and accept only that which belong in your rank.  Why settle when you don’t have to? Why accept so-so when you can have excellent? Why sacrifice your worth for attention, warmth and closeness? Create boundaries and watch God send you someone who will not only respect you, but cherish you and love you so well that you have no choice but to forget about those who loved you poorly.

Anyways family, I’m so tired and I’m ready to call it a night.  I wish all of you the absolute best and I hope that you all do what is best for not only your body but your soul.

Until next time,

Simone

FIC:http://blogs.thegospelcoalition.org/tgc/files/2014/01/boundaries.png

 

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Dating a Preacher’s Kid

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

i thought I would take some time to introduce myself to some of you guys that don’t really know me well.  Let’s see….I’m a licensed minister and I am a pastor’s daughter, both my mom and dad work as pastors in the ministry.  People are always asking, how does being in leadership and being a pk affect your dating life?  Well, the effect is great.  The “code of conduct” if you will is a list of particular rules that is used to reflect the old-fashioned model of modesty.  It’s like dating in my grandmother’s way (which is not a bad thing), it’s just that sometimes it’s hard to find guys who would submit to these rules. For example, if a guy plans on dating me- he has to speak to both of my parents, come to the door to pick me up and we must have a chaperon on the date( like an accountability partner).  These rules don’t bother me but they seem to be a problem for the guys who are interested in me.  It’s like, they are super excited to be with me but because of all the hard work- they give up and decide that they would rather pursue someone else.  So what should a girl do?  Should I go behind my parent’s back and do my own thing?  Should I lower my standards to keep him interested? Or maybe, I should live my life according to these standards and if he leaves that’s on him. Maybe I should understand that I am a girl that is worth working for.

 Maybe I should understand that diamonds are mined and that requires effort, its the same with a guy searching for my heart; it’s going to require effort.

Just maybe, I live life with a mindset that people will come in and out of your life, but those who are supposed to be there will stay.  If you are supposed to be here, you’ll stay! 

This is my dating life as a preacher’s kid, knowing that at the right time- the one who is supposed to love me will come along and he will embrace all of my parents crazy quirks and respect the code of the “first family”, the first family of the church.

Until next time,

Mo 🙂