Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers-
I think God is taking me on this incredibly, crazy, uncomfortable yet fulfilling journey. He is breaking the back of fear out of my life. My biggest desire has been to live a life that was fearless. One absent of apprehension, fear, and doubt- to be free to take risks, to embrace chances and to run into the unknown.
Y’all, I did something so brave. I cut my hair. I was transitioning to a more natural hair lifestyle for about a year or so now and one day, in a fit of courage and a desire to have something new, I cut all of the perm out of my hair. Beautiful curls framed my face as I watched all of what I placed my identity into powerless in my hands. To think I thought my beauty was in the way my hair looked. The overall problem wasn’t this notion of beauty but the fear attached because of people opinion. The moment I realized that I was hella dope, the fear began to unravel… slowly but surely courage filled my heart and before you knew it there was nothing I could not do.
There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life – fear of death, fear of judgement- is one not yet fully formed in love.
1 John 4: 17-18 MSG
I gave a presentation in class yesterday. anxiety filled my heart but the presentation had to be done. I had a choice: I was either going to step to the occasion or I was going to shrink back in fear. I chose to take a deep breath, say a little prayer and I went for it: all things positive came from my act of bravery. But, the Father wasn’t done challenging my fears. Last night, we had vocal assessments at my church. For a period of time, I stopped singing. I allowed the negative words of someone I admired, trusted and looked to literally mute me. It was like I missed the mark and therefore was disqualified from revealing that portion of myself. So… as I sat and waited for my name to be called, again anxiety filled my heart. I sat and laid on the ground trying to calm my fearful heart. I began to sing something, anything to drive the fear away. The words of United Pursuit filled my heart and I knew that God was with me at that moment, that He was filling me with His love because in His love there is no need to be afraid. I sat, I waited, I entered the room, I closed my eyes and I began to sing: aloud, in public, unashamed for the first time. It was like my voice was waiting to be free, finally free from the oppression of fear I felt the fear but I did it anyway…
In your strength, I can crush an army; with my God, I can scale any wall.
Psalm 18:29 NLT
What if the Father is inviting all of us into a life of being fearless? A life truly fulfilled, carefree and full of the joy that comes with being loved well. It’s always easier to hide, but to hide what’s within out of fear leaves us living limited lives. So today, I invite all of you to abandon fear, to take the chance and to see the wonder on the other side. I’m convinced that bravery and brillance coincide within each other. Every time I’m brave, I experience such brilliance and beauty within the world, I simply forget that I was ever afraid. Man, what a beautiful feeling!
“Home” by United Pursuit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNvDCeRrk1o