The Holding Cell

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers- 

I hate waiting.  We all have that one family member whose super accommodating and it seems like they can wait for anything. I  mean they can wait for food, in traffic for their exit, and for other things outside of their control.  These people have the best attitudes and seem to be full of patience.  I am not one of those people, not even close.  If my food is taking too long at a restaurant, I’m like what’s up?  I hate waiting in traffic. I hate waiting in long lines.  I hate waiting for the light to change.  I don’t like to wait.  Once I create a schedule, I want it to run smoothly free of delay.  Man, I wish God felt the same way about waiting as I do, but he doesn’t.  In fact, He encourages that we have periods of waiting- moments where we sit and wait for the promise

I was sitting here thinking about my life and  I feel like I’m in a holding cell.  It’s like I’m in this season of transition, waiting for someone of a higher authority to determine what’s next.  I have to wait for God to move.  The crazy thing about the holding cell, it forces me to trust that God is making the best decisions for my life- that He knows what He is doing.  Sadly, friends, I’ve jumped the gun so many times and moved ahead of Him.  This moving ahead of Holy Spirit left me in so much trouble, cleaning up a mess that could have been avoided with a bit of patience.  I’ve played clean up because of my inability to wait.  But, here I am again in a transitional state of my life and I have no choice but to wait and trust.  What do you do when you have no other choice but to wait? I took the wrong approach and complained about my wait.  I complained about what God was doing because I couldn’t see all of the details.  Yet, God being so full of mercy did not get angry with me but left me in the holding cell to wait things out.

God so full of mercy and compassion is making me wait.  He rather I sit still and wait than to push ahead of him and mess everything up.  There is beauty in the wait!  When we wait, we get to sit with God and prepare for the next.  In the wait, we learn the beauty of rest! In the wait, we understand that good things take time.  Waiting is for our benefit, waiting is for our maturity, and the wait helps us grow!  I’m in a season of waiting and I’m learning that out of his steadfast love for me, He’s placed me here.  I’m waiting and that is okay.

Here’s what I’ve learned through it all:  Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord.  Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope.  Yes, keep on waiting – for he will never disappoint you! Psalms 27:14 TPT

Xoxo,

Simone

An Orange Tombstone

Peering into the portals of the past…

9/15/12- “Don’t  forget…”

An orange glossed ticket stands between hope and disappointment,

as my heart broke at the sound of your empty presence.

Ricocheting previous trust  issues,

crashing the building of acceptance I built for only you.

My walls bare with guards became surrounded,

my emotional SWAT team came to its emergency rescue.

I sat in the blazing heat.

I looked at the field of sunsets and orange haze blinded my perception of you.

I left hating your school and I too believed the lie that …

even you was too good to be true.

Deception fueled by your lies, I swore my hatred would last forever.

Even as the shadow of death came and  killed our friendship in death valley-

Memorial stadium became a place of remembrance of what we had.

In that sacred ground, I buried my allegiance to you and I left never looking back.

It was there, I buried pure hope in  you….

©Simone Holloway, 2016

 

FIC:http://www.travisbellphotography.com/wallpapers/clemson.death.valley.fireworks.1s.jpg

I’m Getting Married, But I Didn’t Invite You To The Wedding….👀

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

It’s an early day here in Greenville, cold and a little quiet from our seemingly typical 7 day rain storm.  I love mornings like this, because these days always put me in the space to reflect and write about my reflections.  So here we go, welcome to the tangent otherwise known as my life …

It’s wedding season!!! Yay!!! How many of you guys have been involved in one or is being asked to be involved in one? How many of your old college buddies are getting married? And how many of you are that single person that has yet to get “hitched”? Oh lovelies this is me …🙋🏾 

But recently I’ve run into this scenario, the person I was supposedly friends with in college- my “sister”, friend and life long buddy pulled one of these….” I’m engaged!” Me: “yay!!!!” Them: about 6mos to a year later ” I’m married!!!!” Me: *I never attended that wedding 👀👀* (Maybe my invitation got lost in the mail…)

Hmmm….. So we’re the best of friends? Are you sure? It’s okay if we’re not…just wished I realized that we weren’t really friends before I wasted all that time investing in a friendship. This has been my thought process for the past 3 months…

So today I stand on my platform of opportunity to encourage those who have experienced something similar- let me tell you honey. Your friends do life with you. They celebrate you and you celebrate them. If your friends can’t be around during your hard times, nor do they want to share their happiness with you then- THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!!!!! Stop wasting your time… You are too great to waste your time with awful people. 

Things like that will test your confidence and it’ll come to tear down your self esteem, but I’m here to remind you of your awesomeness. You are awesome and anyone would be so great to do life with you. 

Let’s rid  ourselves  of everyone who doesn’t want to be there for us or vice verse and let me tell you something, when we do that- God sends people our way that love us so much that we forget about those who didn’t. 

Well good morning fam, I hope that encourages you! 

Until next time, 

Mo 🙂 

Empty Promises

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

How are you guys doing?  My mind just took a turn down memory lane, it does that sometimes.  I used to think my memory was a curse, a realm of my mind that constantly brought up things I wished I could forget, but now I believe it is a blessing- a contributor to lessons learned and the reason wisdom takes top priority in the character wish list.

It is not until you at the end of an empty promise that you understand the importance of keeping one’s word.  A man’s word is his bond, bond can be defined as an agreement with legal force..a promise, vow , or word of honor.  I’ve been on the receiving end of empty promises so much so that for a period of time, I lacked faith in one’s words or agreements made with me.  This trust was so diminished that I expected everyone to disappoint me, and you can’t have long lasting friendships when you’re expecting disappointment.  But, hey- you get what you expect right?

A distant memory triggered today’s discussion.  Once upon a time, I was friends with a guy that I worked with.  We became close very fast and anyways, he was giving me a ride home from work when he made a definite statement “I intend on hanging out with you this summer.”  I didn’t ask for him to hang out with me outside of work.  I never pushed a deeper friendship with him, so this took me aback for a moment, but at the same time my friend circle was so small that I was excited at the thought of adventures this summer with him.  That summer came and left- we never hung out that summer.  Again I was at the end of an empty promise, I should have expected it, but I didn’t and that was what made it hurt even more.

Good intentions paved the pathway to hell.  We all intend to do things, but how many of us actually follow through.  Like, really follow through.  Talk is cheap and intentions mean nothing without action, so today I encourage you guys to watch what you say you intend to do.  If you make a promise, keep it!  A man/woman is only as good as their word, if you lack the ability to follow through- making promises isn’t for you.  Some people can’t follow through, they have big vision and big dream but lack the capability to bring those things to life, causing what they imagined to die right in their hands.

Watch what you say, because your words have duel power- the power to make someone’s life better and/or the power to make someone’s life worse.  Keep your empty promises to yourself!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit: http://churchofthefridge.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/empty-promises.jpg

Lesson Learned

what’s the point of being hurt

if you gain nothing from it

I learned that pain can be used

to fuel healing to a lowly spirit

what’s the point of making mistakes

if you repeat them over and over again

I learned that in over to move forward

I had to live different, my friend

a lesson learned is a well learned lesson

a phrase my mom would say

I didn’t understand these word’s significance

until I crossed a similar path one day

I opened my heart and surrendered

to one who thought I was a fool

who would know that this heartbreak

would be my inner “me” greatest tool

I cried until I grew

I sobbed until I became strong

I knew that if I kept on striving

It wouldn’t be long

long before I move on

long before I overcome

the lesson that I learned

made me victorious, darling I won

(c) Simone Holloway, 2015

Featured Image Credit: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a6/52/a6/a652a662767cb20da506ae5254ae0023.jpg