I Refuse To Remember

I can’t remember the last time I wrote you.
In prose, poetry, sentences, words, breaths…
I don’t remember becoming this brave,
yet here I am.
Again, I realize that I made the right choice-
life changed the moment I chose me.
I think I’ve found my future’s key.

I can’t remember the last time I spoke to you.
In sound, actions, deeds, man I can finally breathe…
I don’t remember returning to a mind that’s sane,
yet here I am.
Yet again, I realize that I made the best decision-
time stood still the second I walked away.
Man, my heart is no longer a game that can be played.

I can’t remember the last time I…
…thought of you.
…whispered your name.
…wished you were with me.
…wanted life to be the same.
…sung your favorite song.
…stalked your Facebook page.
…ate your favorite meal.
…allowed memories of you to fill me with rage.
…prayed that you would be faithful.
…hung my head low at your mistakes.
…desired to be in your arms.
…got caught up in our on -again off -again breaks.
…chose regret.
…downplayed my life’s purpose.
…diminished my beauty and brilliance.
…allowed you to distract and steal my focus.

I can’t remember.
I won’t remember.
I refuse to remember… what life looked like with you in it.

©Simone Holloway, 2018

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A Time To Let Go

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

There comes a time in our lives where we have to make tough decisions so that we can move forward.  Yesterday, we spoke of fall cleaning- of the clearing of our hearts to make room for what’s to come.  In order to embrace what’s to come, sometimes we have to let go of the thing we love the most.  I should know.  There is this guy that I have loved since I was 17 years old, I still love him; but today, I choose to let him go so that I can move forward.  I choose to move forward.  Sometimes we have to cut ties with what we have known for so long, we have to get rid of the memories, we have to say goodbye.  So today, I choose to say goodbye to him.  I choose to say goodbye to the memory of him.  I choose to say goodbye to what we had and I look forward to beginning again with someone new.  I choose to say goodbye,  I choose to let go.  There’s a quote by Sherrilyn Kenyon that says ” If you love something, set it free  If it comes back, it was and always will be yours.  If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.” If the love of my life and I are meant to be, we will be -but for now I choose not to be.  I choose to let go.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame,and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

Until next time,

❤ Mo

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