Open.

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers

“Be Open.” That is the instruction ringing in my heart.  All of my fears are contending with the Lord in the form of what-ifs, yet in kindness, He repeats himself once more: “Open your heart. Open your heart to love.”  Tears stream down my cheeks as I realize that I’ve been closed to the idea that someone will actually love me.  Fully.  To tell you the truth, I’ve just fully accepted the idea that He loved me fully.  I just became content with that phenomenon; that in spite of all of my mistakes, weaknesses, and shortcomings, this great God was in fact deeply in love with me.

My heart resisted but the instruction remained the same, “Open your heart. Open your heart to being loved.” “But God” my heart persisted, “What if he hurts me?” The instruction remained the same, “Open your heart.  Open your heart to being loved.”  “But God.” my heart pleaded, “What if this breaks me worse than last time?” The Father remained gentle, in pure kindness- he stated one more time, “Love, the choice is yours. But darling, I’ll ask again – Open your heart.  Open your heart to being loved.”  I sat on my couch and I heard his gentle voice like oil caress my spirit and I had a choice to make.  Either I would open up and take the risk of pain or remain closed and ultimately alone.

At the end of the day to trust in the instruction of God is to ultimately trust in Him.  To trust Him requires the hard thing:  it requires facing our fears, it requires confronting our doubts, it requires trying again at the thing we think we suck at the most.  For me, love.  I have this obvious track record of failed relationships, of apparent heartbreaks.  I have this rap sheet of ugly moments and countless memories of love lost.  I am a woman who has made peace with her regrets yet fear gripped me when I heard his voice.  Fear came to remind me of my past and shame came as a drinking buddy ready to cosign me into self-sabotage.  Yet, here comes Holy Spirit: kind, gentle and full of truth with one simple instruction.  Be Open. Open your heart to being loved. 

So, here I am completely open and vulnerable and just plain scared but willing.  I am willing to be open, I am willing to be loved.

I have no idea where this heart journey is going to take me.  All I know is that I am committed to obeying sweet Holy Spirit’s instruction.  I am committed to being open and to keep my heart open to being loved. I am willing and my heart says “Yes.

Until next time,

Simone 

FIC: https://i.ebayimg.com/images/i/371447628482-0-1/s-l1000.jpg

 

Like Abraham….

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

These past two weeks have been so emotional, just because of the internal obstacles I have had to face.  Once again, I faced feelings of inadequacy, the opinions of others and the challenge of family and their expectations in my life.  I made up my mind a long time ago that I was going to live my life, whether people approved or not.  I was going to make my own decisions.  These people include my parents.  I have found that other the years, my parents- especially my mom, has this particular vision for my life.  I share some aspects of her vision but I’m not her so some aspects of her vision I do not share and have no intention of following.  My mom’s opinion matters a lot to me and her opinions have caused me to second guess the direction God has been leading me towards in life.  I realized that I rather listen to God and live my life according to His will than to live my life trying to please my mother.  I love my mom, I do – it’s just that I have to live my own life the way God wants me to live it.  I can’t stand before God and say I didn’t do what You told me to because my mom didn’t approve.  There comes a time in our lives where we have to make our own decisions apart from family and friends.  In these times, we will not be popular and they may not believe that our decisions are right but that is all apart of growing up- making your own God ordained decisions.  

I am realizing everyday that God is preparing me like Abraham, he is preparing me to go away from my family and everything that I’ve known before so that I can go a place that He is going to show me.  If we never leave those who have so much influence over us, we will find ourselves never walking out God’s will in our lives.  Doing your own thing is not a matter of disrespect, it’s a matter of growing up and we as a spirit-led people are going to have to explain to our family (esp. parents) that God’s plan is perfect.  Just because they don’t understand the plan, doesn’t mean it’s not God.  They have to trust God’s plan in your life.  I am coming to the place that if God says sleep at the hospital and my mom doesn’t approve, I’m still going to sleep at the hospital because God said so and not because my mom approved.  I don’t need her approval concerning my life.  Her approval would be great, but if she doesn’t approve of  my decisions- I will still love her and move on with what’s ahead.

We have to stop allowing others to have so much control over who we become.  If we’re not careful , people will live their lives vicariously through us and that is not the will of God.  The will of God is for us to be obedient to Him and His word, not to the opinions of others.  Yes, there is accountability.  Yes, God loves submission to leadership.  But, if your leadership is hindering you from fulfilling what God has said, He will either remove your leadership or grasp your attention so that you can heed His voice.  I rather make some people mad, even my mom – then be disobedient to God.  I can’t afford to walk in disobedience and make the wrong choice because of what other’s think would be best for me.  You have to live your own life with God and let others do the same.  I’m not advocating rebellion, I’m advocating taking a stand concerning your life and not living it passively taking the direction of others.  

Some of you guys are going to have to be like Abraham and leave what you know (who you know) behind so that you can move forward into the place God has destined for you.  

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit- http://www.biblebc.com/ChurchInfo/MensRetreat/2012/Abraham%20Friend%20of%20God2.jpg

This Time Won’t Be Like Last Time

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

I was thinking about my vision for the future- and what came to me was “This time won’t be like last time“.  I don’t about you guys but I love second chances; I love do-overs!  That’s the beauty of grace- with God, there are do-overs in life.  I see this year ( my break from academia) as a huge do-over.  I was supposed to work at a law firm before law school a year ago, but the opportunity never opened up.  I was supposed to meet the individuals I am meeting now a year ago, but nothing worked out.  I was supposed to be trending on this blog a year ago, but because of my own insecurities things didn’t work out the way they were supposed to.  

The last season of life I lived in, was full of fears and disappointments.  The last season of life I lived in, was full of bondage and tears of struggle.  The last season of life I lived in,was marked by disobedience and regrets.  I’m so happy that I am walking in a new season of life.  

I am walking in a place of obedience to God’s word, this has caused favor to reign in my life.  I am working the job I was supposed to work a year ago, I am going to the law school (in July) that I was supposed to be attending now, I am meeting the individuals I aspired to know a year ago and I and living in freedom from the past and its effects.  God gave me a do-over; a second chance.  The thing about God and His grace is that He isn’t a respect of persons.  He’ll give you a do-over, a second chance.  One day you’ll wake up and realize that this time will not be like last time.  This relationship will not be like the last relationship. This love will not be like the love you experienced before.  This marriage will not be like the marriage from before.  This relationship God will not be like the relationship you had before.  This dream will not be like the last dream- it’ll be greater.  This time won’t be like last time!  

I dare you to encourage those you love with these words:  This time won’t be like last time!  Have a great day! 

Until next time, 

❤ Mo