Coming Undone

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

Welcome to a new week and a new month!  It’s a time of newness, expression and becoming more in touch with the person God has created for you to be.  So… I went to church yesterday and my Pastor spoke about how creation is waiting for the person God has created to be revealed here on the earth.  As she continued to preach, I cringed a little bit because in that moment I was guilty… guilty of hiding the person God created. I bet a lot of you are like: “What???” “How???”

Well, here we go- it’s confession time!…

Like some of you, I have a plethora of gifts and talents that the world has no idea about.  I can sing, write, make pottery, I play drums, and I can also perform some poetry- but over the past few years, I have allowed fear, opinions of others, insecurities, perfectionism to hinder me from revealing all of who I am to the world.  To tell you the truth, I’ve placed confidence in others and their abilities but somehow forgot to believe in myself.  If that is not honest and transparent, I don’t know what is…  Like many of you, I’ve even convinced myself that what was burning on the inside of me ( a song, or a post) could be done, performed, or perfected by someone better or more skilled than I.  That is ridiculous, right?  It sure is… but these are the lies that many of us believe.  We believe that we are not needed, we believe that once we’re revealed the world won’t like what is presented before them, we believe that we are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough= all lies that the Enemy uses to keep up hidden, dormant and dying.

What if I told you that freedom was not in some type of chant or mantra but simply in the idea of coming undone.  What if I told you that freedom was wedged between honesty and vulnerability?  That freedom was locked in you losing control and just going for it?

Yesterday, I left service with a new mindset and a new attitude, while making a new decision.  I decided that I was going to live my life coming undone, peeling back the layers I’ve used to cover who I am- I was going to reveal the one God created for this earth.  So…. Ladies and Gents, I encourage you to come out of hiding.  The world is waiting for you: your voice, your ideas, your cooking recipes, etc.  The world is waiting for you and only you. You being the one God created is enough and extremely necessary to the world.  Friends, I love each and every one of you and I’m praying fiercely for you- join me in this new season of life and let us become undone!

“For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation for God’s sons to be revealed.” Romans 8:19 HCSB

Until next time,

Simone

P.S. S/O to my Pastor and the Holy Ghost for WRECKING my entire life with a sermon that encouraged me to get myself together and to move forward undone!!!

FIC: https://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/25539082232_46cea712c1_k.jpg?w=1140&h=656

Our Earthly Concern

So… I am in the process,

of becoming great…

Or so I think, as I reflect on the harsh realities of the world.

I am striving not to become one of those average girls,

who basically take what’s being given to them.

As radical as it seems, I am trying not to fall at the seams

of a patterned world determined to unravel our hope.

Once upon a time, I spoke.

I spoke about the injustice I see,

because on the daily there are people who hate me and barely

take the opportunity to look past my dark shade.

Some call it racism, some call it hate.

I call it innate- being that since birth we’ve been categorized.

Labels have been our demise,

yet we sing a song of everything is going to be alright.

Which is true.

But riddle me this, how many labels have been found on you?

I used to think that the “isms” would destroy the world,

but instead it will be little boys and little girls.

Their words will do the destructive work instead,

letters of taught misogyny, bigotry and discrimination bound to spread.

But take heart and  remember that in history a man bled,

to capture the world in pure love and peace.

He was whipped, he was beaten for you and me.

So I am sorry if this piece is something with which you do not agree.

But, life is too short to bite my tongue because of your degree.

I am at a place where I want to see change on the horizon,

I am at a place where I want to see the fulfillment of Zion-

that city on the hill shining its light boldly.

That is the world I pursue after wholly.

So with opinions aside and truth in turn,

may love become our earthly concern.

©Simone Holloway, 2016

FIC: https://www.splcenter.org/sites/default/files/SPLC-Publications-Ten-Ways-to-Fight-Hate-1280×720.jpg

Sojourning Into the Land of “Unfamiliar”

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers – 

It’s been a long time since we’ve spoken and I have missed all of you deeply.  Question of the day: Have you ever found yourself in a position that was frankly awkward? Like, you just did not know how to feel about where your life was positioned at that time. Awkward.  It is this word that best describes where I am in life right now.  I’m not in a comfortable place but I’m not uncomfortable either- I’m somewhere in between.  I’m feeling awkward.  Last time we spoke, I mentioned the demands of law school ( with anxiety that increases like a  pressure cooker). I feel like I’m doing well, but I don’t have any grades that can truly attest to that… awkward.  I joined a new church so I have a church family, but… I don’t really know (deeply know) anyone that I worship with…so awkward.  I live in a new city but I haven’t became acclimated with the environment so I have no idea about great places to eat… awkward, especially since I’ve been living in town since the beginning of August.  I feel connected, yet disconnected.  Accepted, yet rejected.  Fulfilled, yet purposeless.  I feel awkward as I sojourn in this land called Unfamiliar.

I’m in a place that I have never traveled through before, surrounded by people that I don’t know and who do not know me.  VERY AWKWARD.  But, is it not just like God to lead us into a land called Unfamiliar, down a path that’s never been traveled before.  I think God takes pleasure when we find ourselves in this very place- a place where we depend solely upon Him. Today, I’m reminded of Abraham.  God told him to leave his family’s house and all that he knew to go to a place that would be shown to him.  It wasn’t like God said leave your family and move to Egypt or some other concrete place near the Mediterranean. No, God said leave all that you are familiar with to go to a place that I will eventually show you.  If I was Abraham, I don’t know if I would have been able to leave everything and follow- but that is exactly what Abraham did.  He left all that he was familiar with and He left to go to a place that he had no idea existed.  I feel this story becoming more real to me as I left my familiar place (hometown) to go into a land  where I knew no one and nothing, to experience an adventure that God is only privy to at this time.  I have no idea where I am going, and no idea what awaits me when I get to that God destined place.

If this describes where you are: awkward, a place of being discombobulated, or slightly overwhelmed – take heart! We are exactly where God wants us to be.  We’re in this sweet spot with the Lord, where we understand we desperately need Him.  It is in this place, our faith grows… It is in this place, we experience all of who God is in our lives…  It is in this place that we conqueror fear and become fearless.  We are in a great space.  Our lives may not feel great and sometimes we may want to curl up on the couch and cry, but be of good cheer – we are in the perfect place to witness a move of God.  In an awkward place, the promise of a nation was given and received- God has so many things in store for us as we journey with Him in this unfamiliar place.

Happy Sunday y’all!  I pray God’s blessing over each and every one of you.  Know that I am praying for all of you daily and I look forward to these moments we have together.  I love y’all very much!

Until next time,

Simone.

FIC:http://images.barnesandnoble.com/pImages/bn-review/2011/0412/TheSojourn_AF.jpg

 

Examine Yourself

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

Have you ever had one of those “reality check” moments?  Like, one of those times when you became aware of who you truly were? I think we all have moments like these and they come when we have ignored the voice of God way too long.  I had one of those moments a few hours ago, I realized that I needed to be real with myself and with God.  Sometimes we are not in the situations we face because of the Enemy or the devil, we are in our predicaments because of us.  We placed ourselves in these various circumstances but then look to God and blame Him for our situation.  It’s not God’s fault but ours.  That’s a tough pill to swallow but it is not until we come into truth that we can: be free.  Jesus said,  “For you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. (John 8:32) “  It is the truth that sets us free, not our fantasies, excuses and rejection of what truly is – but truth.  So today, I came face to face with some hard truth about myself and it was that truth that compelled my desire to change.

With today being first Sunday, I know my home church performed communion.  My mom always read 1  Corinthians 11:28a, “But let a man examine himself…” This practice of examining ourselves is this check to determine our standing with God.  Sometimes we can become  so comfortable in our sin that we forget that our standing with God matters.  Christianity is not solely about Heaven, but what is the point to spend so many days in church just to end up in Hell? Why waste our precious time to live halfway committed to God?

We halfway worship,  we halfway praise.  We know all the scriptures, but can’t live them out.  We can speak in some kind of tongue, dance a church down with our coordinated two -step but can’t live and speak holy.  What is the point to do the most, if I’m not going to spend eternity with Him?  I’m at this place in my life,  where church homiletics and routines are no l longer cutting it.  I’m no longer trying to look the part of a Christian, I’m about being a Christian in all its entirety.  If I’m going to look a part, I’m just deceiving myself.

Today  I came to myself, I recognized that my heart and my mind was keeping me from this next place in God.  I needed a new heart, a new mind, a new outlook on life.  The cycle of barely trusting God, believing one day and then complaining tomorrow was going to keep me in stuck in a mediocre relationship with God.  I saw myself as super selfish, super whiny and someone who was more blessed than I realized.  Yes, life is tough but everyone’s life is tough and that’s why we have a God who is more concerned with us than we are sometimes with him.  God is not asking for my complaints, He is seeking my heart to trust him in the midst of where I am.

If we judge ourselves, we don’t have to worry about anyone judging us.

One of the teens in my church’s youth group preached a message called, “Check Yourself.” and I speak that to each of you – check yourself.  Are you who you say you are?  Are you as devout to the gospel as you appear to be?  Looks can be deceiving…. If you’re not where you need to be in God, get there and get there fast because we don’t have time to keep up appearances.  We don’t have time to appear to be whole when we are indeed broken.  We don’t have time to appear to be free when we are truly bound.  We don’t have time to fake our peace living in a state of torment.  We don’t have time …

When we are honest with ourselves, it is then we are made whole. It is truth that sets us free and it is confession that heals us.  I don’t know about y’all but I am ready to live in the fullness of what God created for me to be. I am ready to change.  I am ready…

Until next time,

Simone

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Illumination

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

Good morning!

It is a quiet morning here in the Upstate and to tell you the truth, it should be, being that it is nearly two in the morning. LOL 🙂

I thought I would share something super profound with you- that the Light of the world comes to illuminate the darkness that is within us.  I find myself, sometimes hiding from the light- afraid that it is going to expose those things that are messy and would make  me vulnerable.  I told a friend that I am like a wild animal that likes to lick her wounds in isolation – trying my hardest to prevent anyone from having the power to hurt me.  This defense mechanism, has caused such pain in my life and it needed to be dealt with.  I could feel the Light wanting to illuminate the darkness within my heart but I ran, busied myself with frivolous things and did not heal properly.

Why lick one’s wounds when a perfect surgeon can mend broken hearts?

When we do not address things, and we dismiss what the Light is showing us- we find ourselves in a constant strain between our past and our future.  We know where we want to go but we sense this hindrance on how to get there.  Like a glass ceiling of sorts, a weight that is too much for us to bear.  Jesus is the Light of the World, and His truth illuminates our wrongs not to call us out- or to make us feel bad but so that we may address these things and heal. Healing comes through our confession of what is and that confession is built in the illumination of darkness through the truth.  We need His light, so that we can break cycles that keep us from progressing forward.  WE NEED HIS LIGHT.

So this morning, I encourage you to embrace the process of vulnerability.  I encourage you to deal with some things that haunt your future based in the reality of your past.  I encourage you to shed light on the situation and make things right within your heart.  We are robbed of our peace because of things we refuse to deal with.  We are robbed of our joy because of our refusal to heal.  May today be the day that the Light, Jesus, comes into your heart and expose those hurts and pains to bring about healing within you.  May you be overwhelmed by the power of his illumination.

Until next time,

Simone

 

©Simone Holloway, 2016

Peace Like A River

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers – 

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach that says “Everything is going to be okay”? I call that feeling peace, but to me it is more than a feeling but rather a lifestyle that I seek after.  Peace is so vital to our well-being.  It is like this secret weapon in the midst of hardship and adversity.  Peace.  And it is with peace, that I write you all on this brand new day.  God is the one who gives me peace, His gentle presence reassures me that no matter what I am experiencing- everything is going to work out for my good.  He is my gentle confidence that helps me face the world, each and every morning.  It is in Him, I can live with no fear and it is in Him, worry and anxiety becomes non-existent.  Peace.

My heart is filled with such peace, peace like a river.  It is overflowing in my heart at such an abundance, I am a little overwhelmed.  I told myself that I would not blog for a while because I had nothing to say, I had nothing to offer as I strained to breathe in my hectic life- but even now I feel the unction to share the necessity of peace.  Peace is necessary! Peace is vital! Peace should be sought after, maintained and cherished! Peace.

It is time to get rid of things that rob us of our peace.  It is time to remove the worry and anxiety-driven distractions.  It is time to grab a hold to our peace with all diligence, refusing to let it go.  Peace.  Without peace, we become lifeless, sickly and afraid. Peace. Find your peace, find the One who created peace.  I pray that today is a good one for you and I speak the peace of the Lord over you as well!

Shalom,

Simone

The Cycle Is Broken

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

It’s been awhile since I have written a God-inspired piece for you all.  I’ve been in this relational poetry kick and that’s where my head has been over the past few days.

I just came out of my prayer closet and I went into prayer as a mechanism to get the Enemy before he got me.  Sometimes we wait for the attack to reach out to God, when with strategy we should work preemptively in the spirit realm.  I don’t know if anyone is feeling like me, but I am so tired of seeing the same demons in different forms.  I’m so tired of dealing with the same issues, of fighting the same battles- I’m tired of the cycle.  So tonight, I went into prayer in order to war.  I told the Lord, I’m not leaving this prayer time with you until this “root”, cycle breaks in the spirit realm.  I don’t want to see these same demons anymore.

I think we all have to get to this place with God, where we refuse to take “no” for an answer.  We refuse to accept our children will not come to Christ. We refuse to accept that we will live a life in poverty.  We refuse to accept that the enemy can come in whatever season he feels like it and torment/harass us with demons of our past and previous temptations.  We have to come to a place where we say “enough is enough” and “I am coming for you.”   We do not operate in our own strength but in the strength of our Lord, Jesus Christ who victoriously conquered  hell, death and the grave.  I’m tired of accepting things that should not be and I decided that tonight, I was going to do something about it.

So family, I sat my car and began to pray.  I prayed in my prayer language (also called the “Holy Ghost”) and went to war.  I said God, I will sit here and wait on you to break the cycle- to wipe the residue to make those connected to me free.  After I felt that breaking in the spirit realm, I sat and listened to hear from Him.  He dropped Exodus 14:13 in my spirit and whispered these words to me “the cycle is broken.” Tears welled up in my eyes and joy filled my heart because I knew that God honored my prayers tonight.

So I come to encourage you to declare and decree that over your life- “the cycle is broken.” No matter what it seems like, no matter what it looks like- I don’t even care about the situation feels like: the cycle is broken.  You are free. You are delivered.  You are whole and nothing can erase what God has done in the earth concerning you.  The cycle is broken, the appetite is gone, the desire for sin is extinguished- the enemy you have seen today you will see no more.  It’s finished. It’s done and it is completely broken.

 

Until next time,

Simone

Until The Very Last Minute

How BIG is your faith?

How CRAZY are you willing to look?

Crazy enough to get CRAZY results?

How BIG is your God?

Does your FAITH truly reflect how big He is?

These last few days, I learned a big lesson regarding faith.  I learned that faith only produces results in the absence of fear and with the unction of obedience.  I think that I am coming into this special relationship with the Lord, where I follow his lead in my life.  To tell you the truth, I trust him to the point of automatic submission.   This weekend was one of those weekends when you have something planned, but you have no idea how things are going to come together.  I was scheduled to arrive in  Chi-town for a law school reception, but a lot of unfortunate events begin to shake my faith regarding my departure.

First, the money that I was supposed to use for the trip never came.  I was promised some bonus money from my job, but the amount was cut severely short.  I planned to fly, but the flight I needed was sold out and all the other flights from home to Chi-town were almost double what I could afford.  I was offered a discount rate for a hotel room but the rates was still pricey considering the downtown location of the school.  Money was the BIG obstacle standing in my way of going to this reception.  I prayed on it and I said “Father, if this is Your will, work everything out.”  I looked for change on yesterday, and nothing happened- I heard nothing from the Lord.  All I could do was wait and implore of Him again.  My bestie/big sis and I prayed together and agreed that whatever the Lord’s will turned out to be- we will wait out the results and trust him.  I sat on my bed, I got the prices of what everything would cost and I placed that concern at the feet of Jesus.  To prove that I believed that God could change my circumstance, I even packed a bag and when my mom and dad asked if I was still going to Chi-town – I said “Yes.”  I didn’t know how I was going to get there, had no clue what I was going to do once I got there- but I believed in God so much to the point that I knew He would back my confession.

I woke up this morning, not with an answer but with a heart of faith, a mind that was determined and complete trust in the will of God.  Even to the very last minute,  I confessed out of my mouth- “I’m going to Chi-town for this law school reception.”

Now, family and friends I am writing to you as I am traveling to Chicago.  Everything worked out; the travel, the hotel, and I have everything I need for when I arrive to my destination.  Sometimes, you have to operate out of faith and not out of  the reality of what something appears to be.  Children of God, we speak about faith and trust, but do we truly live these principles out?  We live life out of convenience- blocked from truly seeing the hand of God move for us because we are so uncomfortable moving out of not knowing what is to come.

The greatest adventures are the scariest ones and the most rewarding memories are those that we never thought we would have.

Until next time,

Simone.

Heb 11:1

The Application

I did it!

I finally submitted this piece of paper that dictates my future.

All 1500 words reflecting my passion and zeal of what’s to come

All I really want is for some-one to come say “There you have it folks, she’s in!”

Seriously, I curiously await a decision from those that do not know me or understand the struggle it took to get to even this place….

I hope new memories erase the old ones of disappointment as I pass this familiar corner again

I can believe, that my God did not leave me to play déjà vu – but instead, He is operating in the unseen

Picking up even these pieces that scattered on the floor as failure smashed my dreams.

I believe that this time is different and that in this moment, a catalyst occurred fueling a great exchange

A great change from failure to success, from worst to best

I choose to believe in nothing less than the truth that my God loves me

And that in this great love was the will to move ahead

To allow what’s dead to remain dead as I choose to live

in the newness of Him.

So yeah tonight I took a leap of faith and I stepped out of my comfort boat and I was beckoned to come

I came, I walked and I stayed above the water that sought to sink me

©Simone Holloway, 2016

Invisible Hands

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

God must not be moving.  That is the thought that runs through our minds when we see all of the chaos and confusion around us.  God must not be moving.  How could He be moving in the midst of this? Plus,  I don’t see Him.  I don’t see Him moving. Good thing, faith is not dependent upon our eyesight. Faith is dependent on our trust and belief in God.

For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7 KJV

Chaos.  Complete disorder and confusion.  That is what I am seeing in my life right now, a juxtaposition being that I am also free- falling in the Will of God.  It’s crazy that in the midst of my obedience to God in expectation of the promise, all I see is confusion and chaos.  My current situation shows the promise being impossible.  My life is set up in impossibility- the perfect environment for the presence of God.

 Jesus looked upon them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26 KJV

Maybe this is where I need to be, maybe this is where the Lord was leading me- into the place of impossibility so that His glory can be revealed on a greater level.  God does His best work in the land of impossible and reveals Himself the best in the area of nothingness.  And maybe, just maybe…He was waiting for me to be void so that he can create something to fill the void forever.

The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep.  And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. Genesis 1:2 ESV

The beauty of God is that when we think He is not moving, those are the moments that He actually is- being Spirit moving His invisible hands.  Naked to the human eye but tangible to His spoken Word.  He is not only moving; but he is watching, orchestrating, rebuilding and working on bringing His promises concerning us to pass.  God is moving, and just because we can’t see it doesn’t mean movement is not happening.  I’m reminded of the air we breath, though naked to our physical eyes- we witness it’s power within us each and every day.  If for a moment we forget to breathe, our lives could be cut short from lack of oxygen in our lungs.  We need air to be alive, yet we will never touch an air particle in our lifetime.  We need something that is not tangible, that holds no form or shape.  Isn’t it crazy how God’s word is sort of the same, intangible to our fingertips yet necessary for our being to function (including our fingertips).  We need His Word and His Word is moving to make us  into who He desires for us to be.

So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:11 ESV

God is moving.  We just cannot see it.  And to tell you the truth, that’s okay because our sight does not hinder His movement.  I want to encourage you guys tonight to let you know that there is still hope in what is to come.  There is still hope.  Trust in the hand of the Lord, though invisible to you; vital to your well being.  I hope each of you have a great night!

Until next time,

Simone 🙂

And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord. Luke 1:45 ESV

FIC: http://allwallpapersnew.com/wp-content/gallery/hand-of-god-images/Jesus+hands.jpg