Holiday Anxiety

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers- 

Happy pre-holiday season, with Thanksgiving approaching in the next few days, some of you may be feeling the what I describe as “holiday anxiety.”  It’s this dreading feeling that comes when you know you have to be surrounded by family and answer a bunch of aggravating questions.  As a newly single walking embodiment of awesomeness, I hate all of the aggravating questions that come with being seated at the family dinner table.  I don’t know about you all, but I feel like we live in a world where we are always asked to supply answers to questions that we simply don’t have the answer to.  For example, “How long will you be single?”; “When are you going to have some kids?”; “Girl, why you ain’t got a boyfriend?; “Girl, when are you getting married?”  In my heart I want to scream, “I DON’T KNOW, DO I LOOK LIKE GOD?”  but on the outside, I smile gracefully and say, “I don’t know.  I’ll let you know when I find out.”  I’m not going to let them know… I’m going to make all my announcements after the fact on social media.  My family will find out about my life choices when the world finds out. Trifling?  Yeah, I know.

Ladies and Gents, If you’re like me, I feel your pain and I understand your holiday anxiety.  But more so, I sense the temptation to return to my past due to my own loneliness.  It’s like Lord, you separated me from what I was in before but because of my own desires to be held and to be in a relationship, I feel tempted to return back to that which you’ve set me free from.  I believe that many of you are facing the same temptation, the temptation to return back to your past. This overwhelming temptation to settle for what you’ve been freed from out of convenience and loneliness.  This, I believe is the reason many of us have found ourselves at a crossroads:  Do we return to what the Lord asked us to leave?  Or, do we wait for what He promised?  I had a choice, return back to my ex so I can finally have an “answer” pleasing to men or to wait for what the Lord promised which is better!

Anyways, I can’t tell you all how to live your life.  All I’ll say is do not forfeit your future for the temporary conveniences of today.  So, here I go approaching this awkward time with boldness and depth reminding myself of the truth: I’m happy, I’m content,  and I’m waiting and that my dears will have to be enough.




Peace Like A River

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers – 

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach that says “Everything is going to be okay”? I call that feeling peace, but to me it is more than a feeling but rather a lifestyle that I seek after.  Peace is so vital to our well-being.  It is like this secret weapon in the midst of hardship and adversity.  Peace.  And it is with peace, that I write you all on this brand new day.  God is the one who gives me peace, His gentle presence reassures me that no matter what I am experiencing- everything is going to work out for my good.  He is my gentle confidence that helps me face the world, each and every morning.  It is in Him, I can live with no fear and it is in Him, worry and anxiety becomes non-existent.  Peace.

My heart is filled with such peace, peace like a river.  It is overflowing in my heart at such an abundance, I am a little overwhelmed.  I told myself that I would not blog for a while because I had nothing to say, I had nothing to offer as I strained to breathe in my hectic life- but even now I feel the unction to share the necessity of peace.  Peace is necessary! Peace is vital! Peace should be sought after, maintained and cherished! Peace.

It is time to get rid of things that rob us of our peace.  It is time to remove the worry and anxiety-driven distractions.  It is time to grab a hold to our peace with all diligence, refusing to let it go.  Peace.  Without peace, we become lifeless, sickly and afraid. Peace. Find your peace, find the One who created peace.  I pray that today is a good one for you and I speak the peace of the Lord over you as well!



You’ll Just Know

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

It’s been a while.  To say that I’ve been extremely busy would be an understatement.  The truth of the situation is I am working two different jobs to make some enough income to move for law school.  I feel like the more I work, the less trouble I get into and therefore my constant exhaustion is for my good and not detriment…. 😬.  Not really sure if anyone else would agree with that logic, but that is the truth concerning why it seems like I don’t blog as much as I used to.

Anyways…there was something that just dropped into my heart this morning in regards to relationships.  I think that for many of us, relationships have been a roller coaster ride of emotions dipped in confusion.  One day we are extremely happy and content and the next we are deeply unsatisfied for whatever the reason.  We get into these relationships with this sense of doubt, waiting for things to not to work out so we can begin the process with someone else.  I’ve lived my life like this…in constant confusion and anxiety regarding those who I have been involved romantically with.

So this morning, the Holy Spirit began to speak to me about one’s inner witness.  That voice within ourselves that tells us when things are right and when things are wrong.  We like to call this voice our conscience but in Christ, this voice of reason and truth is truly the Holy Spirit leading and guiding us into life.   He warns of bad decisions and urges us to take amazing opportunities for the glory of the Father.  If we listen hard enough, we can hear him saying when things are right and when they are wrong-when the relationship is right and when it’s wrong. I think the problem comes when we override Him and the red flags He shows us because we desire to fill this void of loneliness that is within.  SOOOOO… we allow our own insecurities and weaknesses to dictate how great a relationship is for us, rather than trusting the inner workings of the Holy Spirit and His ability to lead us into truth– it’s the nature of humanity and our constant belief that we can make decisions for ourselves separated from that inner witness.

This is why i speak to so many people who say “If only I listened to by gut…” “If only I acknowledged those signs that I saw in that individual…” “If only…” The thing about hindsight is that it’s 20/20 and that’s when we truly see life what it was and not for what we wanted it to be.  I learned through harsh breakups and broken hearts to follow the leadership of the Holy Spirit and to listen to His voice, confirming this inner witness that is within.

When you meet the person you should be in covenant with, you will just know.  You will….  People today don’t want to believe in love at first sight any more or that your heart and mind will come into agreement concerning love, but it will and this agreement that happens between these two realms of ourselves will confirm that inner witness within.  I’ve experienced that agreement and it’s life changing, to be in a place where there is no doubt that you and this person is just meant to be in this very moment- it’s liberating….

So today, I encourage you to listen to the Holy Spirit.  When He shows you that things aren’t right about your relationships, pay attention and act accordingly.  Don’t stay stuck in relationships because of what you want your relationship to be rather than what truly is. Be open to the truth and heed to that inner witness within you.  Listen to Him.

When you meet the “one” for you, you’ll just know!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

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Out of Hiding

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

How are you guys doing?  I’m sitting at work, working too quickly and finding myself easily bored.  I love my job- I’m trying to learn as much as I can before I go to law school . The problem tends to come when I’m done and there is nothing left for me to do. That’s the problem! Anyways, at least I got to finish my nails- it took a week to finish both hands.  My life has been crazy, so crazy that I thought about hiding out for a few days…you know the whole “disappearing act”.  I used to be guilty of disappearing and coming back into “society” when I felt less overwhelmed and less anxious.  With the pressures of leadership and responsibility, I too have those days when I wish I could disappear for a few days and come back rested.   Well…that’s not going to happen. lol.

Anyways… I get the unique opportunity to listen to worship music at work and I am loving this Steffany Gretzinger album, “The Undoing”.  I absolutely love this album and the tranquility that its music brings to my work place.  One of my favorite songs is called “Out of Hiding” ( Father’s Song).  The lyrics says:

“Come out hiding

You’re safe here with me

There’s no need to cover

What I already see

Baby, you’re almost home now

Please don’t quit now

You’re almost home to Me”

I love these words because I used to feel so alienated from God because of the things I’ve been through and done- so, instead of facing things head on: I would hide.  I could hide out for months and isolate myself away from others and God but I’m so happy that God sees my hiding places and He calls me to Himself. He calls me out of hiding and into His presence so I can understand His love towards me.  

There are some of you guys who read this blog and you’re hiding. You’re hiding from love, family, memories and things that you associate with pain.  Some of you are hiding from your past and sabotaging your future.  Some of you are hiding from destiny and purpose.  Some of you are even hiding from God but He sees your hiding places and He is still reaching out to us, beckoning us to Himself.  Allow Him to bring you out of hiding today, out of your place of isolation and depression, anxiety and fear; and into His presence, into the depths of His heart.  He’ll keep you safe- I promise!  He’ll keep you safe.  

Have a great rest of your day!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

“Out of Hiding( Father’s Song)” (c) Steffany Gretzinger Bethel Music 2014

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