All Walled Up

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers- 

I’m back and I have so much to say!  Have you ever wondered why we have walls? I mean, why do we have partitions between rooms, people, experiences?  I know we are taught that walls protect us, they are necessary for privacy and are critical for boundaries.  But, what if our walls are damaging us?  I mean the walls we keep on the inside that keep us from being honest with others. I remember once upon a time, my Pastor  (PT) preached this epic sermon about walls.  He discussed the dangers of living with walls, of being closed off from those given to you.  I left that service inspired to tear down my walls, but I noticed that some of the walls I’ve built were rooted in my own disappointments and unrealistic expectations. Immediately, God began to deal with my walls.

If I’m candid, the walls I’ve built to protect myself from others became this tool to destroy me.  Here are some of the walls, the Lord and I have been tearing down one by one:  (1) Walls of disappointment, (2) Walls of rejection, (3) Walls associated with childhood trauma, (4) Walls of depression/suicidal ideations, (5) Walls of anxiety and fear, (6) Walls of self-hatred and diminishment of self, (7) Walls of guilt from past mistakes and behavior, (8) Walls of doubt, and finally (9) Walls of expectations.  I shared my former walls so that you can have the courage to identify yours. I mean, your healing is your responsibility.  I’m a big believer in honesty/transparency because I desire to grow as a person.  This new found freedom drives me to open the same invitation to each of you.  We do not have to live all walled up.  The same God who created us can protect us and we can trust Him with our happiness.

Our walls keep us from receiving all that the Father has destined for us.  Think about it, how can we believe in our dream if our wall of false belief about self stands in the way?  I remember delaying on what God placed on the inside because His Word had to run into my wall of fear.  It became exhausting to believe in anything, especially God’s Word.  I wonder what our lives would look like if we had the courage to tear down our walls.  I mean we don’t have to do this by ourselves, our Father is able and willing to help.  That’s the beauty of living in this new way, we don’t have to do this alone!  I couldn’t receive until I tore down my wall, I couldn’t love well until I rid myself of my walls, I couldn’t help effectively until my walls were demolished.

Our walls hinder us from loving ourselves and therefore determine how we love others.  




My Pastor’s EPIC sermon about walls (Pursue Series: “Come Outside”):

Create Boundaries

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

You know? For a relationship blog, we don’t speak a lot relationships.  So I thought that tonight’s post would be about dating relationships, courtship and etc.  Do you know what was my biggest mistake in the majority of relationships I entertained? My biggest mistake was allowing everything to just be- I never created boundaries.  That is how I ended up accepting crappy behavior from the guys I considered or was engaged into a relationship with.  I thought my mom was being old-fashioned with her variety of rules: Don’t pick up the phone after 10, require a dinner date, have him pick you up from your home, etc. “Psshh…she’s crazy”,  I would say.  “There’s no way someone is going to want to date me with those stupid rules.” I would scoff as I broke the rules for a guy. But as I become a young adult woman, I’ve come to appreciate these little rules that establishes a standard.  After working an eight sometimes nine hour workday, I don’t want to be on the phone after 10:30.  I’m too tired to hold an actual conversation and therefore I’m not alert concerning what is being told to me.  What good am I in conversation, if I am not listening? Create boundaries.  There is this stigma that having standards are going to result in loneliness.  Au contraire my dear, having standards will weed out all the good for nothings and land you a good for something.  What is the point of dating someone who cares nothing about your worth as an individual?  Who has that type of time to waste?

We have lied to ourselves.  We have convinced ourselves that we have to lower ourselves to be accepted.  The mere fact that we think devaluing ourselves equal acceptance reflect the overall low self-esteem that is echoed in our society.  Creating boundaries is good for our body as well as our soul- there needs to be a clear line that few get the privilege of crossing.  When we create these boundaries  and love without partiality- we will find people’s treatment of us changing.  My beautiful young queens, stop throwing your crown of gold to the ground in order to accept a crown of twine.  Come on my beautiful queens realize your place in the kingdom of God and accept only that which belong in your rank.  Why settle when you don’t have to? Why accept so-so when you can have excellent? Why sacrifice your worth for attention, warmth and closeness? Create boundaries and watch God send you someone who will not only respect you, but cherish you and love you so well that you have no choice but to forget about those who loved you poorly.

Anyways family, I’m so tired and I’m ready to call it a night.  I wish all of you the absolute best and I hope that you all do what is best for not only your body but your soul.

Until next time,