Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers-
Hello & Happy Thursday! Those who know me know that I am a big advocate for healthy boundaries and the cultivation of loving relationships upon the premise of choice. Like many of you, my schedule is very busy and this sometimes leaves me less available to those I love. My close friends have learned to adjust as I have with their similar availability. One of my biggest pet peeves is the overstepping of boundaries. This can include but is not limited to: asking really intrusive questions and demanding a response, attempting to control my time, attempting to control my friendships and or connections, giving unsolicited advice or “wisdom”, and finally implicit bullying through innuendo/suggestion. I don’t do the mind games, I don’t entertain dysfunctional behavior and I have ended friendships and familial connections because of this issue. Many look upon me as a believer and they come to this fallacious assumption that my faith makes me a “doormat” subjecting to any and every behavior given to me. This is not the case. In fact, the one I choose to worship (Christ) was always ready to turn up and he did not bite his tongue to please the fickleness of people. He has boundaries and so do I.
I don’t know what’s in the water but lately, I have encountered so many dysfunctional people that do not understand boundaries. I have come to this resolve more than ever that I don’t owe anyone anything. I don’t owe anyone any type of explanation for how I live my life, utilize my time and who I choose to enter into a relationship with. I don’t have to answer people’s questions about my personal life. I don’t have to explain why I’m choosing a different route or path. I don’t have to explain where I was or with whom I was with. Frankly, that is no one’s business but God’s and those I have chosen to confide in. We have to stop letting boundary-crossing individuals convince us that we owe them intimate details. If we’re honest, boundary-crossing individuals have a control issue. They feel like they have no control over their own lives so they want to control yours. The Devil in Hell is a LIAR!!! No one has the authority to control our lives but the one who created us and even He gives us the choice to give Him that right. He does not assert his authority in our individual matters without giving us the freedom to invite Him in.
So if my Creator is not forcing himself into my business, why in the world would I let someone else do that?
You don’t owe anyone anything. People did not create you. People did not call you. People did not die for you. People do not have the power to eternally validate you. People did not anoint you before the foundations of the earth, that was the Lord. You owe them nothing: including your time. This mindset is going to rub some people the wrong way but they will get over it. You have so many amazing things to do and you cannot live your life subjected to the wills of those around you. Anything that seeks to control you should be destroyed. Any relationship and friendship, any working relationship that takes away choice should end. If you were looking for a sign, let this post be your sign to end that which is abusive. Live your life freely!
Courage comes to those who are willing to confront dysfunctional behavior.