She’s Dead.

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers

I bet many of you are looking at the title of today’s blog and you’re like “What???” But what many of you do not know,  is that a piece of me died today.  Yep, a portion of myself that held me back, that kept me stuck in the rut of my past, that caused me to lose hope/faith in God- that thing/piece died.  That fearful, anxious, timid girl died, and I’m happy that she has been laid to rest.

It’s insane to belong to Christ, yet still live like the world.  Right?  Why buy into this new way if you’re still going to experience the same old troubles and hardships?  Why work to never enter rest?  As I grow in my faith with God, I realized that the way I was living my life was never what he intended.  He did not design me to be stressed, extremely exhausted, malnourished and utterly miserable.  God did not save me so that I could have a miserable life, but this was my life day in and out- miserable.

 I was saved to be filled with joy, to hope in something bigger than myself, to live full out fearless and free from anxiety.

I was a bound daughter, living like an orphan, striving and working in my own strength to make my dreams come true.  Due to this life, I suffered greatly: mentally and in my physical health.  Yet, in grace and mercy, the Father never disowned me but in gentleness and compassion he beckoned me to himself and loved me anyway.  Though I was still the girl who was afraid of living, he still loved me.  Even though I still found myself in the rat race of life, he still loved me.  Even though sometimes I got it wrong: said the wrong thing & did the wrong thing; he still loved me.

It was this love that kept pushing at my fortress of fear,  it kept smashing against its doors, looking to destroy it once and for all.  For His perfect love casts out (banishes) all fear!

When I became a Christian, He promised that I would be a new creature that the old things of life would have no more effect on the new that was to come.  I lived as a ghost of my former self: afraid, anxious, lonely, depressed but my new self is none of those things.  My new self is fearless, full of trust, at rest, loved well, and full of joy.  So today, as I was talking to the Father, he explained that the season I was in was one of the old dying so that the new could come.  So today, I make a declaration in faith that the old person: anxiety-ridden, fearful, striving, lonely, depressed, and overwhelmed is dead.  She died and she no longer exists! I am now fearless, bold, confident, trusting, at rest, in peace, full of joy and optimism, at ease, and never alone for He abides with me.

Goodbye old, may you never resurface again.  Thank you for teaching me about my strength, thank you for showing me that there was more to life than what I was living, thank you for being my past- for my past led me to Jesus who gives me the authority to proclaim my perfected future.  Goodbye, good riddance, may you rest forevermore!

Hello new, may you spring up!  May I perceive you all the time, rest in you, and long for you.  May I never become content with settling with what I’ve already seen when there is so much more to come.  I welcome you, I identify with you, I identify as you: new.  I rest in you, for you are a gift from my Father to me.

Until next time,

Simone (new and improved🦁)

FIC: https://image.shutterstock.com/image-photo/tombstone-graves-ancient-church-graveyard-260nw-508109173.jpg

Scriptural Citation: 1 John 4:18; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Isaiah 43:18-19

Also, a link to what the word casts out is in Greek and what that means, it’ll provide better understanding and context to the scripture referenced.  (1Jn 4:18)

https://www.biblestudytools.com/lexicons/greek/nas/ekballo.html

Vacations, Birthdays and Gratitude

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

God is good!  That is my simple declaration for the day regardless of what it looks like, regardless of what it feels like- God is good.  I just got home from Orlando and it was wonderful!  I love vacations, birthdays, anniversaries; really any need for celebrations.  I love to celebrate.  I think that life has a way of sucking the life out of us, it has a way of taking our joy and stealing our peace.  Life has this dark, depressing way of ruining our dreams and reminding us of all of our failures.  This is why I love celebrations, because it’s God’s way of causing us to reflect on life with complete gratitude.  Yes, life may not be the best- but we are alive and therefore, God is good.  Yes, the struggle is real- but regardless, God is good.  Celebrations have a way of filling our hearts with gratitude.

My family and I vacationed in Orlando for my mother’s birthday. It was nice seeing my mom relax for a change.  Sometimes, ministry stresses us out and we need a little more grace to make it from day to day- just a little bit more.  I think my mom needed a little bit more grace and just a few days to get away from all of the responsibility that has been placed on her shoulders- so we went on vacation.  My mom was so carefree; I watched as she laughed more, smiled more, and just had an awesome time. Her happiness made me happy and I began to reflect on the goodness of God towards His people.

I think God has a way of slowing down time; a simple way for us to see the world around us.  He has a way of showing us that glimmer of light in the midst of darkness.  He shows us the light so that we may have hope, hope that everything though it may appear dark and dim will be alright.  He is light.  He is hope.  He is good.

So today, Happy Monday and please reflect on the goodness of God.  I know life is tough.  I know life can take you for a whirl.  I know life has this tendency to try your faith, but have hope in God.  Look for the light in the midst of the darkness and understand that there is always hope because He is good.  Today, be filled with gratitude and love for our Creator!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit: http://rootwholebody.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/fall-gratitude.jpg

I See Great Things

In my future, its great things I see

I see great things in my future

I only have high hopes for me

This year is going to go a lot smoother

For me this will be the best year

This will be the best year for me

I can feel good things near

So…I choose to live and let be

I’m excited to love with everything

With everything, I’ll excitedly love

This year will be filled with songs to sing

A year I can continually write of

I only expect good things in the near future, no negativity

This year is my year, my time for living free

©Simone Holloway, 2015

Featured Image Credit: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/ff/3f/6d/ff3f6d14166b35fb61c77805d21c4aa0.jpg

I Love You

This title is my confession
but based on my profession
it is customary for me to say it again
Now and then
and forever
I speak these words as an anchor
for your heart
as beautiful as a work of art
I grace these three words to you
their impact great, though their letters few
So here I go..knowing this is what my heart wants to do
Darling, I. love. you.
I loved you before you believed
In an us, in a we
I loved you before you loved yourself
When you placed our love on a shelf
I loved you when you was lost in the world
Even then I wanted to be your girl
And all in all my love remained true
I love you despite all we've been through
I love you now
I love you not knowing how
my love will affect those around me
but whatever will be, will be
You see?
Darling, I can't live my life based on others opinions
on what they determine are my sins
I can't decide who to love based on a consensus
because then there would be no us
Maybe I'm biased
but with you I am my boldest
And I can't allow other's brief distrust
to ruin the greatest
love I have ever known
seeds of beautiful change have been sown
And as if that isn't enough
I might just
up the ante on this bet I have on us two
and say for the rest of eternity, I will love you
Yes I will
When all the earth stands still
And the wonder of the seas begins to cease
and the world ponders if there is still peace
I will still love you
in fact my love grew
over the years
as situations bottled our tears
and we had to make an alliance
as tough times came to rob the essence
of our love
like a dove
who waited to be released from it's hiding place
so that it could face
what was to come
we too waited from
the sidelines so that we could
understanding that we should
love each other with everything
regardless of who was asking
I will love you when your spirit decides to go away
knowing that you can no longer stay
in the earth with me
as you pass into eternity
I will still love you
There's nothing else that I'll rather do
Then, now and forever
my love will be your anchor
it will be sturdy and well-fixed
well-mixed
with patience and honesty
designed for you and me
I did, I do, and I will
love you for eternity
© Simone Holloway, 2015

Featured Image Credit:http://www.lovethispic.com/uploaded_images/62097-I-Love-You.jpg

My Letter To The Enemy

Dear Chief Adversary, 

Satan, the enemy, your royal evilness- I thought I would spend  a few minutes letting you know what the deal is.  Let’s make something totally clear, you no longer have any type of control in my life.  Your influence ceases to exist and I no longer wish to take your advice concerning the affairs of my life. That being said, you have no power to destroy me, neither do you have any authority to use my members to use against me.  You have no right to dictate anything to me, neither do you have the privilege to use my past, regret, hardship, loneliness and low-self esteem to do me in.  You are irrelevant and therefore I no longer make your opinions first in my life, nor do I entertain the negative thoughts you try to give me. I belong to the King of Kings and I am covered by His blood.  He has given me power through His spirit making me bigger than you.   The fact of the matter is, you should have killed me when you had the chance.  You should have destroyed me while I was in my place of weakness, while I was susceptible to your lies and garbage,  You should have took me out when I was little, contemplating suicide- when I thought to use my hands to rid of my own life.  You should have gotten me then, but now that I am strong and I know the truth- nothing will stand in my way, especially you!  You should have stopped me when you had the chance because now I am really a threat!  I will overcome, I will tell people about the goodness of Jesus and how He had saved me from you.  I will destroy your kingdom and lift up a standard of holiness.  You should have gotten me then because there is no way that you are going to get me now.  There is no way.  I may have fell for your tricks of manipulation in the past, I may have allowed you to convince me to do some bad things , I may have even fell for your lies telling me that I was worthless and that no one cared about me- but today, your tactics no longer work and I  will no longer succumb to you.  I am going to destroy everything that is related to you, to tell you the truth- I am your worst nightmare, because with God on my side I will triumph, I will win.  Finally, Mr. Accuser of the brethren, you really screwed up when you became cocky and let me live because now I’m going to destroy you, by winning one soul at a time.  

Your mistake,

Mo 🙂