Open.

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers

“Be Open.” That is the instruction ringing in my heart.  All of my fears are contending with the Lord in the form of what-ifs, yet in kindness, He repeats himself once more: “Open your heart. Open your heart to love.”  Tears stream down my cheeks as I realize that I’ve been closed to the idea that someone will actually love me.  Fully.  To tell you the truth, I’ve just fully accepted the idea that He loved me fully.  I just became content with that phenomenon; that in spite of all of my mistakes, weaknesses, and shortcomings, this great God was in fact deeply in love with me.

My heart resisted but the instruction remained the same, “Open your heart. Open your heart to being loved.” “But God” my heart persisted, “What if he hurts me?” The instruction remained the same, “Open your heart.  Open your heart to being loved.”  “But God.” my heart pleaded, “What if this breaks me worse than last time?” The Father remained gentle, in pure kindness- he stated one more time, “Love, the choice is yours. But darling, I’ll ask again – Open your heart.  Open your heart to being loved.”  I sat on my couch and I heard his gentle voice like oil caress my spirit and I had a choice to make.  Either I would open up and take the risk of pain or remain closed and ultimately alone.

At the end of the day to trust in the instruction of God is to ultimately trust in Him.  To trust Him requires the hard thing:  it requires facing our fears, it requires confronting our doubts, it requires trying again at the thing we think we suck at the most.  For me, love.  I have this obvious track record of failed relationships, of apparent heartbreaks.  I have this rap sheet of ugly moments and countless memories of love lost.  I am a woman who has made peace with her regrets yet fear gripped me when I heard his voice.  Fear came to remind me of my past and shame came as a drinking buddy ready to cosign me into self-sabotage.  Yet, here comes Holy Spirit: kind, gentle and full of truth with one simple instruction.  Be Open. Open your heart to being loved. 

So, here I am completely open and vulnerable and just plain scared but willing.  I am willing to be open, I am willing to be loved.

I have no idea where this heart journey is going to take me.  All I know is that I am committed to obeying sweet Holy Spirit’s instruction.  I am committed to being open and to keep my heart open to being loved. I am willing and my heart says “Yes.

Until next time,

Simone 

FIC: https://i.ebayimg.com/images/i/371447628482-0-1/s-l1000.jpg

 

The Spirit Of Expectancy

Hello old friends, new  followers and fellow bloggers- 

It’s been awhile since we have spoken.  Guys I’ve been tremendously busy and equally exhausted, but I thought I would   take a free moment to share something with you guys this morning.

The most powerful thing you can have in this season of time is a spirit of expectancy- a confidence that God is going to show up.  The Spirit of Expectancy is so powerful because it has proven to yield results.  When you come into the presence of God, expecting him to move in your situation- He usually moves in your situation.  God responds to faith, and having a spirit of expectation is evidence of faith.  My mom used to tell me all the time, “Simone…you’ll have what you expect.”  And I have found this saying to be true.  When I started my day out expecting happiness and joy, my day was filled with happiness and joy; but when I started my days expecting the worst-the worst usually came.  What are you expecting?  Are you expecting God to show up and out concerning your situation? Or are you expecting what you are facing to get worse?

Expect, anticipate, and hope in the Lord because He’s going to come through and when He comes, He is coming quickly.

Until next time,

Mo  🙂

Featured Image Credit: http://www.bigisthenewsmall.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/expect-great-things.jpeg

Character Flaws

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

We’re coming close to the top of the hour and I thought I would share some of my evening thoughts with you.  There is this pattern in spiritual leadership where we glorify talent and charisma over character.  I don’t know if you noticed but it seems that we have individuals in leadership that possess some major character flaws.  These individuals have all of the spiritual gifts but lack integrity, cannot be respectful, and cannot be submissive to authority.  It is these same individuals that wonder why things in their lives seem to never truly change.  I think that God cares about our character, more so than what we think.  He wants us to be a great example to not only the church but to the world as well.

Here’s the kicker– the loved one you’re trying to win to Christ is not looking at how well you speak in tongues…but rather your character. How well do you treat the waiter/waitress when you guys are out to dinner? Do you tip them well. as they deserve?  Do you pay your taxes? On time?  Do you treat those who have rule over you with mutual respect and honor?  Realizing that submission does not rob you of your rights as an individual but builds the character within you to be trusted with more?

I think we need to sit back and say: Are we truly ready to be leaders ? Or do we  need more development time? Because if we need more time to build our character, we can do that- no one is pushing us into anything we are not ready for.  Maturity says “I’ll take time to build my character, before I lead anyone into character development.” Immaturity says, “I’m perfection and I have no need to check that thing that is within me.”  Immaturity breeds destruction and destructive patterns…

Are we mature or immature? And the only way to tell is through our actions towards others.

This evening gang, get rid of your character flaws before you make an opinion about anyone else’s  flaws.

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit: https://quietlyreminded.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/img_1186.jpg?w=300&h=300

You’ll Just Know

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

It’s been a while.  To say that I’ve been extremely busy would be an understatement.  The truth of the situation is I am working two different jobs to make some enough income to move for law school.  I feel like the more I work, the less trouble I get into and therefore my constant exhaustion is for my good and not detriment…. 😬.  Not really sure if anyone else would agree with that logic, but that is the truth concerning why it seems like I don’t blog as much as I used to.

Anyways…there was something that just dropped into my heart this morning in regards to relationships.  I think that for many of us, relationships have been a roller coaster ride of emotions dipped in confusion.  One day we are extremely happy and content and the next we are deeply unsatisfied for whatever the reason.  We get into these relationships with this sense of doubt, waiting for things to not to work out so we can begin the process with someone else.  I’ve lived my life like this…in constant confusion and anxiety regarding those who I have been involved romantically with.

So this morning, the Holy Spirit began to speak to me about one’s inner witness.  That voice within ourselves that tells us when things are right and when things are wrong.  We like to call this voice our conscience but in Christ, this voice of reason and truth is truly the Holy Spirit leading and guiding us into life.   He warns of bad decisions and urges us to take amazing opportunities for the glory of the Father.  If we listen hard enough, we can hear him saying when things are right and when they are wrong-when the relationship is right and when it’s wrong. I think the problem comes when we override Him and the red flags He shows us because we desire to fill this void of loneliness that is within.  SOOOOO… we allow our own insecurities and weaknesses to dictate how great a relationship is for us, rather than trusting the inner workings of the Holy Spirit and His ability to lead us into truth– it’s the nature of humanity and our constant belief that we can make decisions for ourselves separated from that inner witness.

This is why i speak to so many people who say “If only I listened to by gut…” “If only I acknowledged those signs that I saw in that individual…” “If only…” The thing about hindsight is that it’s 20/20 and that’s when we truly see life what it was and not for what we wanted it to be.  I learned through harsh breakups and broken hearts to follow the leadership of the Holy Spirit and to listen to His voice, confirming this inner witness that is within.

When you meet the person you should be in covenant with, you will just know.  You will….  People today don’t want to believe in love at first sight any more or that your heart and mind will come into agreement concerning love, but it will and this agreement that happens between these two realms of ourselves will confirm that inner witness within.  I’ve experienced that agreement and it’s life changing, to be in a place where there is no doubt that you and this person is just meant to be in this very moment- it’s liberating….

So today, I encourage you to listen to the Holy Spirit.  When He shows you that things aren’t right about your relationships, pay attention and act accordingly.  Don’t stay stuck in relationships because of what you want your relationship to be rather than what truly is. Be open to the truth and heed to that inner witness within you.  Listen to Him.

When you meet the “one” for you, you’ll just know!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit : https://img1.etsystatic.com/008/0/7418043/il_340x270.407525569_9r6r.jpg

The Heat From The Speed

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

I’m sort of a night owl even though I know I should go to bed, especially since I had to get up for work this morning.  Anyways…I was having a chat with the Lord around 12:45 this morning, asking Him why it seems like for my life things take so long to get off the ground.  I was reflecting on the fact that He used me to speak into someone’s life, and I have witnessed God’s word come to pass so quickly that it slightly baffled me.  God did a quick work in their lives, and then I began to reflect on my own life and think, “What’s taking God so long???”

The Holy Spirit began to speak to me in that moment about rockets…guys I know nothing about rockets or missiles, except that they go far in to the atmosphere at a very high speed.  The Holy Spirit began speaking to me about a rocket taking off, and how a rocket takes off at such a high speed that the vessel itself becomes super hot. The speed of the launch creates the intensity of the temperature.  So if the rocket was not built correctly, or if it’s foundation vessel was super weak; the heat would destroy the vessel in the middle of the launch.  SO I , not really missing my physics class at this moment thought out loud, “So what does this have to do with me?”  And immediately, the Lord replied; “I had to take time to build you, to make you strong so that when I launch you in my divine plan, heat from the speed doesn’t destroy you.”  “If I allowed you to be launched into purpose without a strong foundation, as soon as  things got tough- you would break and never make it to your next place in me.” 

Sometimes, we look at our lives compared to others and feel a sense of discouragement.  Why does it seem like I have to work for everything?  But those around me are freely given amazing opportunities?  Why does it seem like I am always lacking resources?  When others have what they need to make the difference they desire?  Sometimes, it seems like life isn’t fair.  

I encourage you to realize that God is working in your life.  He is building the foundation so that when He launches you, you don’t crumble at the speed by which He turns things around in your life.  Don’t despise the process.  Stop comparing your life with others (something that I am working on now! ).  Understand that God’s plan is great, no matter what it entails and that His ways are always right.

Be encouraged and please write me, I love hearing from you guys!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit: http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs23/i/2007/343/0/3/Rocket_launch_by_Baietu.jpg

A Good Friday Prayer Vigil

As we remember the death of our Lord Jesus Christ, I felt led by the Holy Spirit to take an hour that evening to pray for our brothers and sisters in the faith who are being persecuted. All around the world, men and women are being asked to deny their belief in exchange for their lives. Let’s come together as a body of believers and pray for these individuals and their families.

April 3, 2015 from 7- 8 PM EST

In order to join this prayer vigil, call 1-712-775-7031. The ID # 514134476.

Join me as our voices are raised to heaven on the behalf of those dear to us.

“The prayers of the righteous availeth much …” James 5:16

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit: http://free13k.com/server13/photos/XrHhuDpHKnKuPM~/167360_Sikh-women-prayer-vigil-Religious-Society-temple_2100x1398.jpg

The Night I Planned To Kill Myself

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

So… today I thought I would discuss something that is dear to my heart and that is depression and suicide.  As you may or may not know, I struggled with depression as a child and an adult until a about a year 1/2 ago.  I was suicidally depressed since I was eleven years old as a result of the aftermath of very bad events in my life.  I don’t write these things to you seeking  attention or some type of pity, but rather I write to let those who read this blog (that struggled like I did) know that you are not alone.  I think the Enemy gets us because he causes us to believe that we are alone.  I’ve attempted suicide 4 different times, the majority(3) being in my childhood.  I hated life and the essence of it because I felt utterly alone in this world.  I could be in a sea of people and still feel alone.  I felt invisible and that I was merely existing, that I wasn’t necessary for the world.

The last time I dealt with severe depression was during my senior year in college.  I got into a wreck that was supposed to end my life, September 12, 2013.  I think I blogged about that experience the day after, but either way the EMS and the hospital told me that I should have died on impact.  I was supposed to die.  The crazy thing about all of this is that, instead of feeling grateful for another chance at life- I felt so guilty that I as alive.  I knew so many “great” people that got into accidents that were not as bad as mine and died, yet I, an “okay” person got off from meeting death.  The wreck changed me and I lost my joy.  I lost the light that was inside of me. I felt dead on the inside and I was walking around campus waiting for death to meet me again. Except, this time- I longed for death to win and to release me of the misery I felt here on the earth.   When you lose all of your hope, joy, and peace- not living becomes an appealing choice.  The Enemy has a way of destroying us from the inside- out when we fall into the belief of his lies.  He slowly suffocates us and then once we lack breath, he gets us to destroy ourselves.  I saw myself slowly destroying me.

I couldn’t sleep.  Every time I went to close my eyes, I would see my accident.  I was scared to drive, scared to walk across streets and every day the enemy would tell me – “today is the day you die” , “I’m going to get you today.”  Demons would laugh at my misery and torment me for being alive.  So one evening, I was in my room in my apartment- my roommates were out and I was so sad.  I sat on my floor and I told God that I wanted to sleep forever,  I had some prescription pills for pain and I knew that if I took just the right amount, I would sleep and never get back up.  I made up in my mind that I wasn’t leaving anyone behind.  I didn’t think about my family, who loved me a lot or my church family who cared about me- I only thought about myself and my torment and I wanted relief.  I poured the whole bottle of pills into my hand and I stared at them, I counted to three and I just couldn’t… It was as if something inside of me wouldn’t allow me to follow through.  I cried and cried, I cried so much my floor was soaked from my tears.

All I wanted was peace… all I wanted was to not be afraid to sleep at night.  I just wanted  to be loved.  I wanted to truly live.

In that moment, the Holy Spirit began to sing to me “ I am yours, you are mine.” He sung to me in this rich tenor and I cried as I felt Him envelope me in His love.  He spoke sweet nothings in my ear and He filled me with hope for the future.  He told me that I was necessary and that He needed me here on the earth.  God saved my life that night, His love changed me from the inside out- He made me come alive.  I threw out those prescription pills and even to this day I don’t take prescription pills/medication at all, as a reminder of that night.  I promised that night that I was going to free fall into the love of God and that I was going to love others freely.  I promised that I was going to forgive quickly and not let the hardships of life get me back to that place of depression and suicide.  I made a promise to God and I held myself accountable to how I reacted to things around me.  I haven’t dealt with depression/suicide since that evening.  

Do I get sad sometimes? Oh course!  But then I put a praise on my lips and I look to God who is my joy.

So today… i thought I would share something very personal with you to let you know that you are not alone.  You are not the only one that have dealt with things like this and you will not be the last, but the One that saved me can rescue you and bring you peace.  He makes you complete and His love sets you free.  He is peace, He is love, He is joy and He extends himself to you this evening!  He extends Himself to you!!!! 

If you want to talk to me or have any questions…feel free to fill out my “Wanna contact me form.” on the other page above.  You can always Facebook message me, Tweet me, or even email me @ authenticlove789@gmail.com.  I am praying for you and I love you guys dearly.  Remember that you are necessary not only to God but to your friends and family.  Your presence on the earth is very important.  I ❤ YOU!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit: https://quotesaboutgodslove.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/godlovegreatercommunityspirituality.jpg

The Jig Is Up

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers –

Honesty is one of the best tools employed by God to produce freedom.  I’ve struggled with things a majority of my life, over the last few years it has been sexual sin(in the form of porn and/or masturbation).  I can freely speak on these things, because I have been made free from these sins .  Even after freedom, the Enemy has plagued me for the last six months- telling me that God didn’t really set me free and that I was still bound to him.  The worst part is as I became tired from fighting, I began to believe him.  What if I was still bound to my past? What if there are roots in me that is keeping me stuck to the Enemy?  So today…I did some research, I desired to know scripture to combat the enemy, so I looked up what the Bible has to say about masturbation.  I found that the Church doesn’t like to talk about these things, which is sad because if we discussed some of these things … more people would be free.

John 8:32 says”Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” NIV

That’s the beauty of the truth, it exposes what you may have never seen in order to guide you to freedom.

God showed me that the root for my dealings with sexual sin was the fact that I didn’t love myself.  I said I loved myself and projected this false sense of confidence but in actuality, I neither loved nor saw myself the way God loved and saw me.  This is why I allowed loneliness to rob me of so many years.  This is why I entered into so many awful relationships and this is why I allowed people to mistreat and mishandle me for so long. God saw me as precious, but I saw myself as worthless- meaning absolutely nothing to those around me.  This was the root cause of what’s been going on in the my life…

What are your roots?  Why are dealing with the sin you are entrapped in?  If you ask…the Holy Spirit will show you the exact cause of your voluntary bondage.

Secret sins only exist if we allow them to remain a secret.  I’ve learned that I rather tell on myself, be transparent and free then to be bound to the bondage of silence.  Some don’t care for my transparency but I won’t change my path of freedom for another’s opinion.

You can not love unconditionally until you receive the unconditional love given  to you.  As you receive My love, I show you your value and worth in Me.  You then come to love yourself and others.

These are the words the Holy Spirit ministered to me this evening, and so I share them with you.  It’s time to face our fears, demons, setbacks and disappointments. It’s time to be truly honest with oneself and destroy the charade that some of us has been presenting for years.  So join me as we tell the world that we will live in truth and we will walk in freedom.

With God’s help, I am learning to love and see myself the way He does.  As I progress in Him, He gives me the strength to be the best I can be.  You can be the best you can be.  You can be free.  No matter what the addiction is, no matter the circumstance, no matter the habit – freedom can be yours as well.  I believe in a God that is bigger than what I am facing and bigger than what I am going through.  His love can set you free!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

© 2015

Featured Image Credit:http://images.sodahead.com/polls/002636259/548902030_exposing_the_truth_xlarge.png

Awaken My Soul

Hello Authentic Lovers

I love this song and I thought I would share one of my favorite songs with you. Today I encourage you all to find a time/place to worship.  Awaken your soul to your first love!

Awaken my soul, come awake
To hunger, to seek, to thirst
Awaken first love, come awake
And do as you did, at first

Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me
Come wake me from my sleep
Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow
To overflow

Awaken my soul, come awake
To worship with all your strength

Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me
Come wake me from my sleep
Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow

Come and fill this place
Let Your glory now invade
Spirit come and fill this place
Let Your glory now invade

Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me
Come wake me from my sleep
Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow
To overflow

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Lyrics source: http://www.songlyrics.com/bethel-music/fall-afresh-lyrics/#LH4SwkuZT16JRQmd.99

Featured Image Credit: http://sondrakraak.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/awake-my-soul.jpg