Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic.

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers- 

I hope you all are having a fantastic day!  Today is full of wonder, discovery and the beauty of reminiscing on beautiful things.  I have a confession, well a few confessions that I would love to share with each of you.  No worries, I promise not to exhaust you all with all my inner musings.  This is what I would like to call: “Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic.” 

*Drum roll please * 

Confession #1: I love handwritten notes. 

When someone handwrites me a note, my heart soars.  There is something so precious and nostalgic about a handwritten note. The time, effort and words on a simple sheet of paper fills my love tank.  I love words, so when someone takes the time to share their heart with me, I am loved well.

Confession #2: I am an old soul. 

I am only twenty-six years old but on the inside, I feel like I am in my forties.  I feel like my soul has lived a few lives.  I love the gestures our parents and grandparents took to express love.  I remember the days when people used to write letters to express their love for others.  I remember when skywriters still had jobs, the days when walking in the rain was both beautiful and sacred.  I remember those days.  I watched as a generation abandoned what was personal for that which was convenient.  Texting and sending emails became easier than phone calls and God forbid you would receive an actual card in the mail.

Confession #3: I am a sentimental person. 

I keep all of the cards given to me in a box, and sometimes I reread the words written to me.  When I pull these cards from the box, it is like I am reliving an amazing memory- the moment I felt loved by that person.  My heart reads the beautiful words on the card and love enters once again.  I love how a simple gesture creates such a profound emotional connection. 

Confession #4: I have a killer memory.

I remember twirling a phone cord around my finger as I chatted with friends.  I remember collecting CD covers so that I could admire the artists’ work.  I remember always attending an event with a gift in hand.  I remember walking to and from school.  I remember the days when friendship meant everything and loyalty was valued.  I remember when girl code was in full effect and if your girl talked to ole dude, you did not. I remember the days when we were a covenant-keeping generation when we cared about those we loved.  I remember the days when others like me loved a handwritten note.

*Sighs*

I guess today’s article is my way of expressing that our advancements in technology and progression robbed us of quality in the name of convenience.  We are faster in completing things but we lost the essence of being present.  We can get so much work done, yet we have lost the beauty of a well-maintained community.  For friends, to love well takes time.  We cannot microwave healing, we cannot rush love.  Do not get me wrong, I love all that we have achieved as a community of people but I would take a handwritten note over a bland email. I would trade an expensive gift for something handmade, something that took thought, consideration and time.  I would trade a night on the town, for staying in and watching my favorite film with un-buttered popcorn.  I am such a simple girl, that longs for simplicity in life.  Yet, is not this the one thing that we all desire?  Simplicity.  Simple decisions, simple commitments, a simple love. Loves, am I insane for believing that things such as love do not have to be incredibly burdensome and hard?

My final confession:  I believe that love does not have to be burdensome and hard.

I just refuse to believe that I must suffer first to be loved well. I refuse to believe that the world is void of good men and women.  I refuse to believe that we are all selfish, self-seeking monsters full of brokenness entering into relationships.  I refuse to believe that true love is dead, that soulmates do not exist, and that we can no longer have a deep meaningful conversation with those we love.  Maybe I am naive, or maybe I am hopeful because I have seen love done well.  I have seen a time of meaningful relationships and I believe that we have the power to return back to a state of being present, intentional, and whole.  I believe that what we have complicated, does not have to be so hard.

I promise it does not have to be so hard.

Xoxo,

Simone 

FIC: https://artlikewhoa.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/khadijahm_romanticism_natural010.jpg

the switch up.

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers-

Inspiration hits me in the most random places and for once Facebook was more than a distraction but a source of encouragement and joy.  I watched as one of my sisters expressed herself unapologetically in boldness, strength, and grace.  She switched up in the game and I was here for all of it!  She was becoming herself and it was beautiful, almost led me into a little tear-fest but I am a G so I reflected and thought about my own experience- my own switch up.

With John Mayer playing in the background, I sat and thought about my journey.  The Simone from July 2018 no longer exists and I am glad!  I was dope or whatever but I was too passive, cared way too much about the opinions of others and allowed people to take advantage of me.   I was living life for others but wasn’t truly living for me.  It was the end of July and I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship.  I remember having this talk with God about what I deserved as a woman, as a godly woman.  I was the girl that hid behind her career, behind her gifts and preferred the background over the limelight any day.  I was not too confident with my body and I had a host of fears, I mean your girl was afraid of EVERYTHING!  It is crazy looking back at how bound I was…

I remember the Father directing me to start working out with my girl Lex.  She has a fitness brand/training company called LoveLex, where you come to love your now as you’re working on your next.  I started to work out with her and a group of my friends and fell in love with my body.  Things slowly began to change.  I was in my last year of law school and I no longer hid in the classroom, I began to share my opinion more and began to be transparent about my journey.  I started to embrace my favorite word, “NO.” and put up a host of boundaries.  I even had to switch up from this passive person to a more assertive person,  I transformed from a little lamb into a lioness and I began to take myself seriously. The switch-up was in full effect but the world did not become introduced to the “new” me until January 2019.  As soon as the clock struck midnight,   new me became visible to those around me.  It was an immediate change: my confidence level was on ten, I knew my worth and I was a thriving boss chick that was no longer settling for mess.   

As January faded and February began, I became more racially conscience.  I fell in love with my blackness and realized that all of my melanin was hella beautiful.  Your girl started to rock her natural hair, afro and all!  I read about my ancestors, began to honor my black kings and queens and developed a love for my black heroes that paved the way before me.  I pledged to honor Fannie, Angela, and Ella; to use my influence and position of power as an attorney to rid the world of injustice.  Your girl is black black and I love all of it!  Spring came with March and I was this no-nonsense believer who was more interested in acting out scripture than shaming people with it.  I got a hold of grace and I understood the love of God which went farther than perfection.  It was the most liberating experience of my life.  I was no longer living for church politics or for people who did not create me to accept me, I was accepted already.  I attended dances, went to mixers, traveled all over the country for conferences, and went on day trips- I was having the time of my life!   I became free.

April came and then May followed and before you knew it, I  graduated from law school and I embraced my intelligence as a gift from God.  God was doing a work in my heart and I began to heal emotionally.  I rid my life of the past and I was walking towards my future.  I woke up and realized that I was worthy of happiness, worthy of love, worthy of hearing and being told the truth.  I was worth all of the good in the world. Even today, I look in the mirror and do not recognize the person I see.  I transformed into a new person: one who is full of love and courage, one who is free to speak her mind and express herself, one who loves herself enough to wait.  My change has been transformative for my esteem.

I think every woman goes through this process of awakening when you realize that what you’ve settled for is not all that life has to offer.  There is a moment when you love  yourself enough not to accept half-promises and half-truths.  You come to love yourself more than the comfort of someone, more than the opportunities given, more than the limitations others will place upon you.  There is a day in every woman’s life when she falls in love with herself and her understanding of her dopeness changes the trajectory of her life.  I fell in love with me and that’s when my life changed for the better.  My friends tease me and say that I switched up the game, I did but I think we should all have a day where we switch up on those who thought they knew us, thought they could run us, control us, manipulate us or abuse us.  Switch up Queen and slay as you move into freedom!

Xoxo,

Simone

Where Do We Find Meaning?

Dear old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers

Happy Monday!  I hope you all are doing well and that you’re not deflating under the  Monday Blues.

Anyways, I believe that we live in a world where people crave for something meaningful.  We desire for our lives, relationships, careers to hold meaning and to reflect some type of value within our society.  Think about it, would you choose your job if that position held no meaning within society: whether that is power, prestige, honor, etc.  What about your perfect guy or girl?  Do the characteristics they possess hold any weight within our value system? Even think of the homes we reside in, are the aesthetics one of “esteem” held within our society fixated on beauty and volume.  What if for a moment, we found meaning in just being the person we were created to be?  Marrying the spouse duly suited for our life and love goals?  Living in the home that we perceive to be best for us?  Working the career that we are passionate about and that changes a majority of lives?

Isn’t that meaningful?

Society teaches us that meaning is in our possession, accomplishments, and assets.  God, however, teaches us that meaning is within Him and as we find ourselves within who He is, we automatically hold meaning, value, and worth within society.  This value and meaning hold regardless of our looks, career, education, home aesthetics, and relationships.  Our lives are meaningful because we are meaningful, just as we are.

Until next time,

Simone

📷 FIC : https://tvo.org/archive-programs/maps-of-meaning

 

Rooftops

Looking out of the window, gazing at the rooftops…

Oh, how I wish I was up there, hands stretched towards the sky.

I can feel the sun beckoning me outside, but I’m trapped within circumstance.

Trapped with responsibility, captured by what appears to be easy.

And I, would love to run away and find myself on a rooftop with you.

Let’s admit it- we always see better then we’re a little higher.

Level one for me has expired,

and I desire something more than what I see.

I want to be free!

Free in deed and not just in words,

serenely taken by the beauty in you.

So, what will I do?

Nothing, I’ll wait…

for my time has not yet come.

©Simone Holloway, 2017.

FIC: https://rutheh.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/nyc-rooftops-night2.jpg

Under Pressure: Skills from a First-Class Procrastinaor

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

So… I was taught never to procrastinate…

However, I work best under pressure.  The higher the stakes, the more I tend to perform because I know that I might not get another shot to get it right.  That’s just me…. Now, do I defy the rules of today- maybe? But hey, if you’re not willing to risk anything how can you gain everything?  Poetry in it’s fullest from.

So I stopped for a brief moment to help y’all reflect on who you truly are.  When you know yourself, you know how your mind, body and soul works and you accommodate for those characteristics.  Let’s stop trying to reinvent the wheel.  Be you.  If you are not a morning person, don’t plan to jog at 6 am each morning.  If you don’t drink, don’t attend bars to look cool and “in.” If you’re not into hard rock and roll, don’t fake your way through a conversation about the Stones.  Be you and own who you are and would like to be.  Some people are planners, I once belonged to that community but as I grow older I long for things to be flexible and freeing.  I’m finding it difficult to follow this strict schedule I have for this academic year.  Like, really hard!  I rather work in an office when necessary, and be out and among my clientele.  Again, that is just me.  I am very acquainted with my own self and I understand what makes me tick.  It is this knowledge that govern my decisions and allows me to pick and choose my associations.

Everyone wants to fit in when the best people in the world choose to stand out.

Until next time,

Simone

Sojourning Into the Land of “Unfamiliar”

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers – 

It’s been a long time since we’ve spoken and I have missed all of you deeply.  Question of the day: Have you ever found yourself in a position that was frankly awkward? Like, you just did not know how to feel about where your life was positioned at that time. Awkward.  It is this word that best describes where I am in life right now.  I’m not in a comfortable place but I’m not uncomfortable either- I’m somewhere in between.  I’m feeling awkward.  Last time we spoke, I mentioned the demands of law school ( with anxiety that increases like a  pressure cooker). I feel like I’m doing well, but I don’t have any grades that can truly attest to that… awkward.  I joined a new church so I have a church family, but… I don’t really know (deeply know) anyone that I worship with…so awkward.  I live in a new city but I haven’t became acclimated with the environment so I have no idea about great places to eat… awkward, especially since I’ve been living in town since the beginning of August.  I feel connected, yet disconnected.  Accepted, yet rejected.  Fulfilled, yet purposeless.  I feel awkward as I sojourn in this land called Unfamiliar.

I’m in a place that I have never traveled through before, surrounded by people that I don’t know and who do not know me.  VERY AWKWARD.  But, is it not just like God to lead us into a land called Unfamiliar, down a path that’s never been traveled before.  I think God takes pleasure when we find ourselves in this very place- a place where we depend solely upon Him. Today, I’m reminded of Abraham.  God told him to leave his family’s house and all that he knew to go to a place that would be shown to him.  It wasn’t like God said leave your family and move to Egypt or some other concrete place near the Mediterranean. No, God said leave all that you are familiar with to go to a place that I will eventually show you.  If I was Abraham, I don’t know if I would have been able to leave everything and follow- but that is exactly what Abraham did.  He left all that he was familiar with and He left to go to a place that he had no idea existed.  I feel this story becoming more real to me as I left my familiar place (hometown) to go into a land  where I knew no one and nothing, to experience an adventure that God is only privy to at this time.  I have no idea where I am going, and no idea what awaits me when I get to that God destined place.

If this describes where you are: awkward, a place of being discombobulated, or slightly overwhelmed – take heart! We are exactly where God wants us to be.  We’re in this sweet spot with the Lord, where we understand we desperately need Him.  It is in this place, our faith grows… It is in this place, we experience all of who God is in our lives…  It is in this place that we conqueror fear and become fearless.  We are in a great space.  Our lives may not feel great and sometimes we may want to curl up on the couch and cry, but be of good cheer – we are in the perfect place to witness a move of God.  In an awkward place, the promise of a nation was given and received- God has so many things in store for us as we journey with Him in this unfamiliar place.

Happy Sunday y’all!  I pray God’s blessing over each and every one of you.  Know that I am praying for all of you daily and I look forward to these moments we have together.  I love y’all very much!

Until next time,

Simone.

FIC:http://images.barnesandnoble.com/pImages/bn-review/2011/0412/TheSojourn_AF.jpg

 

Essence Of Eternity

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

Have you actually sat down and thought about eternity? About the after-life?  Your eternal residency?

I actually thought about eternity and my hope to spend forever with the Lover of my soul, God.  I actually thought about it and this hope made death here on the earth, seem light and trivial.  I began to think about the idea that my eyes will continuously see the beauty that awaits me in Heaven. Every day, moment, year in and out- I will be surrounded by light, beauty and love- because of my relationship with Jesus Christ.

When you think about eternity, and you think about your own relationship with Christ; things here on the earth seem trivial and full of vanity – waiting to pass away.   But the opposite is also true, eternity for those who do not have a relationship with Christ is full of torment and fear.

We cannot escape eternity, wherever we end up because of our choices- we are there forever.

I think that if each of us took a moment to think about the weight of the word eternity, we would love people better; we would be honest and keep our word; we would live our lives sold out for Christ. Our reward for our work is a lifetime of being with Him, and I look forward to every second of it.

If you have any questions or concerns, please comment below or email me at authenticlove789@gmail.com.

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die;and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”” John 11:25-26

Featured Image Credit: http://dgeiu3fz282x5.cloudfront.net/g/l/l-86943.jpg

Lazy Day

I had a lazy day

sat and watched the rain

I did absolutely nothing

as raindrops slowly hit my windowpane

I watched with a longing

for something to do

for a few seconds

I wanted to be with you

“(c) Simone Holloway, 2014”

Featured Image Credit: http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-09/enhanced/webdr02/27/17/anigif_enhanced-buzz-27179-1380318287-13.gif

Random Ramblings of a 21 Year Old Girl

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

I’ve been procrastinating all day about what I wanted to blog about but I decided that instead of planning something, I would just write out of a stream of consciousness,  That’s right, whatever comes up is coming out on this digital page to be shared with each and every one of you. lol.  So I’ve been thinking about a few things that I thought I would share.

Here are a few of my ramblings:

(1) I don’t really understand why people read my writing, really I don’t understand. Like why would anyone choose to hear what I have to say?  I know that sounds self-deprecating and I promise I’m not fishing for some compliments but sometimes I’m like why would I read my blogpost, you know? I  was never the best writer.  I remember being in school and doing awful on my English papers because my grammar was never the best.  I always felt like people never got me as a person, they never understood me or what I was trying to say.  So to see that people are actually reading my thoughts…simply dumbfound me and makes me wonder.

(2) I cry every time I hear Christina Perri’s “Thousand Years”.  Every single time, and I don’t even know why,  It’s like on cue- when I hear the song, the waterworks come.  Crazy, huh? I’m watching “The Voice” and this guy starts singing “Thousand Years” and I almost loose it. lol. Like, full emotional breakdown…I think I need therapy.lol.

I was going to take over the world...

(3) I’m going to the Bahamas in April and I can’t go until I don’t look like a swollen mess in my bathing suit.  When my mom told  the family that we were going to the Bahamas, everyone was like “Yeah…Bahamas..sweet!”, I was like “OMG I have to lose weight to look good in the Bahamas.” Shallow? Maybe, but absolutely true moment!

(4) My next date needs to be at an actual restaurant.  You know, the places where you have to sit down and look at a menu?  A place where its customary to leave a tip?  Like…an actual restaurant!  Don’t get me wrong, I love the spontaneous picnics and home-cooked meals, and trust me I love coffee dates and festivals- but I would actually like to sit down and enjoy a meal that neither one of us made together.  I’m just saying!  A dinner date is long overdue 🙂

restuarant

and finally because I could go on all night…

(5) So I was watching Dancing with the Stars and decided to tweet as I was watching…man, folks can be mean where it involves their favorite TV programming.  I was trying to be nice but honest and thought I was mean, but after looking at some of these comments- I had not even scratched the surface. I think it’s so funny how easy it is to hide behind one’s social media and forget the the people we talk about has feelings too.  Celebrities have feelings too, so let’s be kind on our social media.

So those are my ramblings for the night…I’m pretty exhausted and we’ll talk soon. If you have any random thoughts you would like to share with me, please comment below!  

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Picture #1 :http://ruralrookie.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/shinythings.jpg

Picture #2: http://simmermagazine.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/bluenile.jpg?w=960

Featured Image:http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ElUML68W29Q/TNIgiPPlJkI/AAAAAAAAB58/ufjWMglsax8/s1600/Random+Ramblings+Heidi+Swapp+blog.jpg