Holiday Anxiety

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers- 

Happy pre-holiday season, with Thanksgiving approaching in the next few days, some of you may be feeling the what I describe as “holiday anxiety.”  It’s this dreading feeling that comes when you know you have to be surrounded by family and answer a bunch of aggravating questions.  As a newly single walking embodiment of awesomeness, I hate all of the aggravating questions that come with being seated at the family dinner table.  I don’t know about you all, but I feel like we live in a world where we are always asked to supply answers to questions that we simply don’t have the answer to.  For example, “How long will you be single?”; “When are you going to have some kids?”; “Girl, why you ain’t got a boyfriend?; “Girl, when are you getting married?”  In my heart I want to scream, “I DON’T KNOW, DO I LOOK LIKE GOD?”  but on the outside, I smile gracefully and say, “I don’t know.  I’ll let you know when I find out.”  I’m not going to let them know… I’m going to make all my announcements after the fact on social media.  My family will find out about my life choices when the world finds out. Trifling?  Yeah, I know.

Ladies and Gents, If you’re like me, I feel your pain and I understand your holiday anxiety.  But more so, I sense the temptation to return to my past due to my own loneliness.  It’s like Lord, you separated me from what I was in before but because of my own desires to be held and to be in a relationship, I feel tempted to return back to that which you’ve set me free from.  I believe that many of you are facing the same temptation, the temptation to return back to your past. This overwhelming temptation to settle for what you’ve been freed from out of convenience and loneliness.  This, I believe is the reason many of us have found ourselves at a crossroads:  Do we return to what the Lord asked us to leave?  Or, do we wait for what He promised?  I had a choice, return back to my ex so I can finally have an “answer” pleasing to men or to wait for what the Lord promised which is better!

Anyways, I can’t tell you all how to live your life.  All I’ll say is do not forfeit your future for the temporary conveniences of today.  So, here I go approaching this awkward time with boldness and depth reminding myself of the truth: I’m happy, I’m content,  and I’m waiting and that my dears will have to be enough.

Xoxo,

Simone 

FIC: http://www.b2beck.com/images/holiday_anxiety.jpg

12 Days of Love Letter Writing

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

Those who know me, know that I LOVE opportunities to share  love and light to the world. Any chance that I can get to bring a smile to a face, makes me extremely happy and fulfilled.  SO… I happened to come across another opportunity and I wanted to share this one with you!

There is a beautiful organization called More Love Letters  and these amazing human beings, spread light and love into the world by collecting love letters for individuals who are either going through a hard time, need a little encouragement or just need to be reminded that they matter and that the world cares.  This Holiday season, they are doing a 12 days of Love Letter Writing Campaign.  Each day, participants receive a story of a letter candidate and have the opportunity to write a letter to that individual.  The letters are bundled and sent to the individual during the holidays.

This year, I am writing love letters and would love for YOU to join me!  I could use YOUR help in spreading light and love to those who need it most.

You know what’s so great about this opportunity??? The cost is roughly NOTHING… all you need is a little stationary, a stamp and a little bit of time; and you’ve got everything you need to make someone’s day!  Isn’t that AMAZING? I think so…  So, come join the fun!

Will you join me? The campaign is running from December 4th to the 15th

Today’s letters are being written to the beautiful IRENE. Check out her story below!

“Irene is the strongest woman I know. After her husband unexpectedly died after the birth of their fifth child, this young nurse did what was necessary–working long hours to support her children on her own, even at the expense of her personal life. I have never heard her complain once about her lot in life.

Irene now has grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She never forgot a birthday, and holidays with her were filled with homemade cookies and cheer. In her later years, she’s been happily living on her own in an independent living apartment. Recently though, she suffered a sacral fracture, sending her to the hospital. We are hopeful she can return to her apartment, however, that may realistically not happen. She’s very sharp mentally, but her always able body is feeling the wear and tear of age.

This setback has understandably dimmed Irene’s ever-bright light. This once positive, loving figure is now feeling the weight of not being able to live on her own. She does not want to spend her remaining time in a hospital bed or in a nursing home, but her optimism is waning.”

Let’s write to Irene and encourage + support her during this difficult season.” 

 

ALL LETTERS CAN BE MAILED TO: Irene’s Bundle c/o Anna B. 451 Acequia Madre, Santa Fe, NM 87505 USA. 

So… grab a pen, paper, turn the Christmas music all the way UP and join me in spreading cheer to those in need this  holiday season!  Let’s strive to love well.

Until next time,

Simone ❤

 

Links with info and all that jazz…

http://www.moreloveletters.com

http://www.moreloveletters.com/12days (campaign website)

http://www.moreloveletters.com/diary/2017/11/29/frequently-asked-questions (FAQs & other concerns)

 

 

Giddy

Paused but for a moment an unusual excitement takes over me….

I don’t understand  it’s just a picture – how could this be?

Though miles apart, our hearts are woven together.

I better…be careful, I feel in over my head yet I dread

spending another second separated from you.

Whoo… I feel giddy.

Not overwhelmed, yet slightly overtaken.

Not anxious, yet extremely nervous- cheesy smiles consume my lips

and your name is on my tongue, maybe I was wrong to think that the love I had

for you doesn’t exist anymore I don’t know my brain is moving really quick and I feel

a ramble coming on, OMG, OMG…there you are!  In…picture form,

yet your smile has this magical way of overtaking me, making me all warm and

fuzzy.

I’m just a little giddy,

a little silly

while in love with you.

©Simone Holloway, 2017

FIC: http://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3389/3204002130_cc0538d41f_z.jpg?zz=1

The Wanderlust List

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

Lo, I am filled with wan•der•lustthis intense desire to travel, see and enjoy the world created for us.  I was thinking last night that time is so fragile and after some close reflection, I’ve realized that there is so much more to see and experience.  Think about it, how have you experienced the days given you?  Being a Christian is not supposed to be boring or void of adventure, in all actuality- it should be the complete opposite.  Loving God is an adventure…

SO… I’ve prayed and thought closely about how I wanted to remedy my “situation” and I landed on a goal list- my wanderlust list.  My wanderlust list is simply a list of places that I desire to travel to with prices for flights, lodging and activities that I wish to experience there.  It’s a little more than a bucket list but rather a list of short-term goals that I intend to bring into reality.  For example: I desire to dance in the Piazza Navona (town square in Rome), sip coffee with a french pastry at Cafè de Paris (eatery in Paris France) , and to shop within the Bulevard Rosa (shopping mall in Barcelona, Spain).  These are my plans, to see the world in all of its beauty…

So why now???  Well, I would counter that with why not now?  What do we have to lose by going for what we desire?  What is there to be afraid of?  NOTHING!!!! Absolutely nothing.  I think that God desires for us to go beyond where we are, to see more than what we have already seen, and to strive for something bigger than us. You know friends, I’ve come to this place in my life where I am no longer settling for the same thing year in and year out.  Don’t get me wrong, my life has been amazing thus far and I am extremely blessed- but there is so much more!  There is so much wonder to experience and so much more love to share.  I believe that God desires that we release the limitations off of our lives and experience more – he wants more for us!

Well… would you guys like to join me in this movement of breaking limitations, in going after the more?  If so, make your own list.  Maybe yours is not centered around travel or experiences but rather a personal goal list for your business, or maybe a list of doing those things you were afraid of (mines: sailing – too much water lol)- whatever your list is, write it down and commit to fulfilling each item.  God is bigger than our fears and He has no limitations so why should we.  Friends, let us strive to live righteously and to go after more of God and more of life!

Alright, let’s go!!! 

Until next time,

Simone

FIC: http://designwithdan.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Wanderlust.png

 

***Disclaimer:  We are to go after those things that are pleasing to God, going after some else’s possessions so that you can have more is not what I meant by going after our desires… The more time we spend with Him, our desires begin to match His and we find ourselves enjoying life without our enjoyment being at the expense of someone else. Love y’all ❤

42

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

42. That’s how many blog posts I wrote for the year of 2016.  Pretty sad, huh?  I think so… but I think the low number of work produced was symbolic of my life in 2016.  2016 was the year that I felt the most burnt out, my self-esteem took a hit and once again, I began to question my value and worth compared to the measures of society.  It was a year of great triumph, but also a year of great loss- 2016 was a doozy.  Yep, so I thank God that we are not only in a new year but in a new month- in a time where dreams are coming alive and passions are being restored.  

Family, I have missed spending time with each of you.  I’ve been unplugged for the last month or so taking time to really reflect on my life, my relationship with God and to reflect on how God feels about me and what He has to say about this season that I am embarking on.   I’ve realized over the years that sometimes in order to hear: you have to silence the noise around you, you have to position your life in a momentum of being distraction free.  My pastor challenged us to stop our social media use for the month of January, and at first I quickly felt as if I was dying.  Ok, so maybe I’m being a tad dramatic, but in all seriousness; I began to understand my dependency on the affirmation and validation of others. 

Think about it:  How many times do we post a picture or video that we know others will like? How many times do we take pride in the number of notifications waiting on us? Or get this one, on our birthdays- what’s our favorite parts of the day?  Spending time with family or friends? or checking our Insta or FB for the bday notifications from people we don’t even talk to anymore?  Why do we  value impersonal relationships and yet lack the patience to maintain our connections with those among us? These are the questions that I felt were calling out to me during that season of fasting and prayer and it were questions that challenged the true intentions of my heart.  Do I pray aloud so that others may hear and think I’m super anointed? Or do I pray because I genuinely want to connect with God?  Do I read my word to fulfill some sort of quota or am I truly longing for time with the Lord?  

Why do I do the things I do? 

It was with this awareness, that I realized that I only posted 42 times last year because I was so concerned about other people. As I watched the readership of this blog drop to an all time low, I hung up my hat and decided to relinquish my passion for writing.  In my mind, if my writing was not popular to others then it was not worthy to be shared. This falsehood crippled me in 2016 and opened the door to inadequacy, insecurity and fear- forces that are not of God. God has not given us the spirit of fear but commands us to walk in confidence and boldness for every aspect of our lives. 

At the end of the day, I’ve come to the realization that I am living for an audience of One and as long as He is pleased with my work then I am fine.  When we come to that understanding in our lives, the opinions and affirmations of others become irrelevant and we can truly live in the manner that Christ has intended for us.  Fearlessness give rise to BIG DREAMS, BIG VISION and BIG PURPOSE and being that I serve a BIG God – I know that He wants me to walk fearless.

So… with that being said: let us walk out this year in boldness, confidence and the assurance that we are amazing in the eyes of God. Darling, do what He has placed into your hands whether you have the validation of others or not!  Happy New Year, welcome to February and may your day be the best day yet!

Until next time,

Simone

FIC:http://erickimphotography.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/blackandwhite_vs_color1.jpg

Sojourning Into the Land of “Unfamiliar”

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers – 

It’s been a long time since we’ve spoken and I have missed all of you deeply.  Question of the day: Have you ever found yourself in a position that was frankly awkward? Like, you just did not know how to feel about where your life was positioned at that time. Awkward.  It is this word that best describes where I am in life right now.  I’m not in a comfortable place but I’m not uncomfortable either- I’m somewhere in between.  I’m feeling awkward.  Last time we spoke, I mentioned the demands of law school ( with anxiety that increases like a  pressure cooker). I feel like I’m doing well, but I don’t have any grades that can truly attest to that… awkward.  I joined a new church so I have a church family, but… I don’t really know (deeply know) anyone that I worship with…so awkward.  I live in a new city but I haven’t became acclimated with the environment so I have no idea about great places to eat… awkward, especially since I’ve been living in town since the beginning of August.  I feel connected, yet disconnected.  Accepted, yet rejected.  Fulfilled, yet purposeless.  I feel awkward as I sojourn in this land called Unfamiliar.

I’m in a place that I have never traveled through before, surrounded by people that I don’t know and who do not know me.  VERY AWKWARD.  But, is it not just like God to lead us into a land called Unfamiliar, down a path that’s never been traveled before.  I think God takes pleasure when we find ourselves in this very place- a place where we depend solely upon Him. Today, I’m reminded of Abraham.  God told him to leave his family’s house and all that he knew to go to a place that would be shown to him.  It wasn’t like God said leave your family and move to Egypt or some other concrete place near the Mediterranean. No, God said leave all that you are familiar with to go to a place that I will eventually show you.  If I was Abraham, I don’t know if I would have been able to leave everything and follow- but that is exactly what Abraham did.  He left all that he was familiar with and He left to go to a place that he had no idea existed.  I feel this story becoming more real to me as I left my familiar place (hometown) to go into a land  where I knew no one and nothing, to experience an adventure that God is only privy to at this time.  I have no idea where I am going, and no idea what awaits me when I get to that God destined place.

If this describes where you are: awkward, a place of being discombobulated, or slightly overwhelmed – take heart! We are exactly where God wants us to be.  We’re in this sweet spot with the Lord, where we understand we desperately need Him.  It is in this place, our faith grows… It is in this place, we experience all of who God is in our lives…  It is in this place that we conqueror fear and become fearless.  We are in a great space.  Our lives may not feel great and sometimes we may want to curl up on the couch and cry, but be of good cheer – we are in the perfect place to witness a move of God.  In an awkward place, the promise of a nation was given and received- God has so many things in store for us as we journey with Him in this unfamiliar place.

Happy Sunday y’all!  I pray God’s blessing over each and every one of you.  Know that I am praying for all of you daily and I look forward to these moments we have together.  I love y’all very much!

Until next time,

Simone.

FIC:http://images.barnesandnoble.com/pImages/bn-review/2011/0412/TheSojourn_AF.jpg

 

In Rememberance

I thought I was going to post something traditional,

something with the same previous opening- something super inspirational.

But it is I, that is inspired as I reflect on the significance of this day.

In frustration and with deliberate disobedience I left my room to “play”,

to gamble with my life.

Three years ago, I drove to my friend’s house going through a stop sign- not looking twice.

I was hit dead-on and my car spun out of control,

that moment reflected how I felt about my life- I thought I lost my soul.

I opened my eyes and saw smoke and sunshine,

a calming piece became my lifeline.

Only problem, it was raining that day.

The skies were foggy and gray.

So I knew I was between earth and heaven-

I wasn’t ready for an eternal transition.

Because based upon my sins, I knew I would make my bed in hell.

Yet, on earth I felt like I was in jail.

Trapped, stuck and simply contained-

no one knew, I never complained.

Went to church regularly,

wore a fake smile faithfully-

yet wanted to desperately,

to be free.

Figured, no one truly cared about my end,

and if this car wreck was the just the beginning,

to an eternal damnation – well so be it.

God’s plans with my  twisted thoughts did not fit.

Once again, I opened my eyes and realized I was still here-

still among the living to my heart who are dear.

I became overwhelmed with gratitude since life was not deserved to me.

That day, three years ago, I swore to strive to live free.

The rest is history.

©Simone Holloway, 2016

FIC: http://hdwallpaperbackgrounds.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Beautiful-Nature-9.jpg

A Good Place

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

It’s Thursday and I am absolutely exhausted! I think my body is trying to adapt to the mental demands that come with school at this level. I’m simply surviving with prayer, coffee, some Lecrae, and a few moments of sleep in the law library.  All in all, I believe that I am in a good place.  I just say that I was in a good place years ago, I wasn’t.  I did not know what a good place was until I found myself in divine purpose.  Yes, I deal with various giants and a slew of mountains but I’m a giant slayer and I tell my mountains to be removed.  Whether in the valley or on top of the mountain, I am in a good place.  This confidence does not come from perfection but rather from service to a perfect God.  He  has placed me into a good place regardless of the what appears to be, I am in a good place.

I’m reminded of one of my favorite scriptures in Psalms, Psalm 1: 3 in fact:

That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers.

This scripture describes the one that willfully meditates on the Word of the Lord on a consistent basis.  Those who spend adequate time with the Lord, find themselves placed in a good place.  A place where there is constant spiritual prosperity, stability in daily living and favor with men.  The place I have found myself, though new and adjust-worthy, is a GOOD place.  I feel like I am in the perfect soil to grow and in a position of having amazing things grow with me.

Who would have thought moving to a new city, being surrounded by new people and engaging in a new program would be a good place?  But isn’t it like the wisdom of God to do things that do not make sense to yield the best results.  It’s the character of God to work outside of our comprehension to create His plans and purposes in our lives.

So friends, I just wanted to take a moment to encourage you.  I know life right now might not look good, and it may seem like good is never going to come- but hold on, good is coming.  In fact, I would argue that these circumstances is God’s way of bringing you to a good place.  I leave you with this,

For we know that all things work together for the good of those that love God and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Good is promised and it shall manifest in your life!  Welcome to your good place…

Until next time,

Simone.

FIC:https://foodtourslovenia.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/lake-bled2.jpg

 

 

Best Foot Forward

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

Today is  great day! Yeppers, it is a great day in the making…. I am so excited about these 24 hours allotted for today.  I am sitting in the law school lobby supposed to be studying but since I am ahead, I am not super stressed out about school work.  There is a beauty in living life with no worries and zero to none anxiety.  There is a simple beauty in trusting in God and living with joy.  So I decided to turn my music up, blog and enjoy this moment.

Today is one of those decision moments, when we can decide to place our best foot forward and live with purpose, or we can sit and complain about where we are.  Side-note: blogging during school hours? I call this… insane time-management(lol).  We have a choice as to how we will approach life- with joy or with worry. If I’m not going to enjoy what I am doing then it might as well not get done.  Sometimes we have to place our best foot forward and give life all that we have. Sometimes we have to give life our best shot.  Today is one of those times.  So I encourage you darlings, to give today the best effort that you can.  Enjoy life around you and smile a little more.

I got to go but I am praying for you guys and wishing you all the very best!

Until next time,

Simone