Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-
42. That’s how many blog posts I wrote for the year of 2016. Pretty sad, huh? I think so… but I think the low number of work produced was symbolic of my life in 2016. 2016 was the year that I felt the most burnt out, my self-esteem took a hit and once again, I began to question my value and worth compared to the measures of society. It was a year of great triumph, but also a year of great loss- 2016 was a doozy. Yep, so I thank God that we are not only in a new year but in a new month- in a time where dreams are coming alive and passions are being restored.
Family, I have missed spending time with each of you. I’ve been unplugged for the last month or so taking time to really reflect on my life, my relationship with God and to reflect on how God feels about me and what He has to say about this season that I am embarking on. I’ve realized over the years that sometimes in order to hear: you have to silence the noise around you, you have to position your life in a momentum of being distraction free. My pastor challenged us to stop our social media use for the month of January, and at first I quickly felt as if I was dying. Ok, so maybe I’m being a tad dramatic, but in all seriousness; I began to understand my dependency on the affirmation and validation of others.
Think about it: How many times do we post a picture or video that we know others will like? How many times do we take pride in the number of notifications waiting on us? Or get this one, on our birthdays- what’s our favorite parts of the day? Spending time with family or friends? or checking our Insta or FB for the bday notifications from people we don’t even talk to anymore? Why do we value impersonal relationships and yet lack the patience to maintain our connections with those among us? These are the questions that I felt were calling out to me during that season of fasting and prayer and it were questions that challenged the true intentions of my heart. Do I pray aloud so that others may hear and think I’m super anointed? Or do I pray because I genuinely want to connect with God? Do I read my word to fulfill some sort of quota or am I truly longing for time with the Lord?
Why do I do the things I do?
It was with this awareness, that I realized that I only posted 42 times last year because I was so concerned about other people. As I watched the readership of this blog drop to an all time low, I hung up my hat and decided to relinquish my passion for writing. In my mind, if my writing was not popular to others then it was not worthy to be shared. This falsehood crippled me in 2016 and opened the door to inadequacy, insecurity and fear- forces that are not of God. God has not given us the spirit of fear but commands us to walk in confidence and boldness for every aspect of our lives.
At the end of the day, I’ve come to the realization that I am living for an audience of One and as long as He is pleased with my work then I am fine. When we come to that understanding in our lives, the opinions and affirmations of others become irrelevant and we can truly live in the manner that Christ has intended for us. Fearlessness give rise to BIG DREAMS, BIG VISION and BIG PURPOSE and being that I serve a BIG God – I know that He wants me to walk fearless.
So… with that being said: let us walk out this year in boldness, confidence and the assurance that we are amazing in the eyes of God. Darling, do what He has placed into your hands whether you have the validation of others or not! Happy New Year, welcome to February and may your day be the best day yet!
Until next time,