Holiday Anxiety

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers- 

Happy pre-holiday season, with Thanksgiving approaching in the next few days, some of you may be feeling the what I describe as “holiday anxiety.”  It’s this dreading feeling that comes when you know you have to be surrounded by family and answer a bunch of aggravating questions.  As a newly single walking embodiment of awesomeness, I hate all of the aggravating questions that come with being seated at the family dinner table.  I don’t know about you all, but I feel like we live in a world where we are always asked to supply answers to questions that we simply don’t have the answer to.  For example, “How long will you be single?”; “When are you going to have some kids?”; “Girl, why you ain’t got a boyfriend?; “Girl, when are you getting married?”  In my heart I want to scream, “I DON’T KNOW, DO I LOOK LIKE GOD?”  but on the outside, I smile gracefully and say, “I don’t know.  I’ll let you know when I find out.”  I’m not going to let them know… I’m going to make all my announcements after the fact on social media.  My family will find out about my life choices when the world finds out. Trifling?  Yeah, I know.

Ladies and Gents, If you’re like me, I feel your pain and I understand your holiday anxiety.  But more so, I sense the temptation to return to my past due to my own loneliness.  It’s like Lord, you separated me from what I was in before but because of my own desires to be held and to be in a relationship, I feel tempted to return back to that which you’ve set me free from.  I believe that many of you are facing the same temptation, the temptation to return back to your past. This overwhelming temptation to settle for what you’ve been freed from out of convenience and loneliness.  This, I believe is the reason many of us have found ourselves at a crossroads:  Do we return to what the Lord asked us to leave?  Or, do we wait for what He promised?  I had a choice, return back to my ex so I can finally have an “answer” pleasing to men or to wait for what the Lord promised which is better!

Anyways, I can’t tell you all how to live your life.  All I’ll say is do not forfeit your future for the temporary conveniences of today.  So, here I go approaching this awkward time with boldness and depth reminding myself of the truth: I’m happy, I’m content,  and I’m waiting and that my dears will have to be enough.

Xoxo,

Simone 

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Happy Christmas

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

Happy Holidays!  I wish you all an amazing Christmas season, filled with joy and love.  I know that for some of you all, Christmas is a hard time. It’s a time when you’re reminded of loss of family, your status of singleness, and just the fact that you are spending this time alone.  But, be of good cheer!  You have a whole family, here, ready to love you and encourage you throughout this time.

Once upon a time, I used to dread the holidays; but then I realized that I am so blessed. I have an amazing family who loves me for me, wonderful friends and I am living my dream.  So, I would like to encourage each of you to find the blessings in your lives, the little miracles that holds an eternal smile on your faces.  I believe that God works all around us to remind us that we have so much more than what we think.  We have Him, friends, roofs over our heads, clean water and we live (well some of us) in a country that affords us amazing freedoms.  I am truly blessed and even though I may not have a significant other or a spouse, I am not alone because God is with me.  One of my favorite verses to dwell on during the holidays is Matt. 28:20 b, which says “… And lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”  We are never alone.  May you find comfort in this verse and realize that He is all around you with his arms open wide- ready to love you well.

I believe that Christmas is not about gifts and material things but about loving others well. I believe that Christmas is about spreading joy and sharing the greatest gift of Christ with the world. For it is my belief, that the day this sweet baby boy came to the world- the world was changed forever.  Jesus came to change the world.  He came to bring hope and to bring love to the outsiders.  He came to bring joy to the depressed, to rescue those who were hanging on by a wing and a prayer.  He came for broken people, for those that people gave up on, for those that were deemed to be unlovable.  Jesus came for you and me and it was with compassion and love that he entered into our world ready to give up everything for us.  He loves us well and during this season, may we share his love with others and love well.

Anyways…family, I love each and everyone of you.  Thank you guys for sticking with me over the  years.  Thank you for reading my posts, thank you for your comments, thank you for investing in me as I seek to pour into each and every one of you.  You guys have loved me well over these past few years and for that I am so grateful!  Thank you for being my family during some of the hardest seasons of my life and  I pray that God will pour His  love out on each and every one of you.  You guys have loved me well and I seek  to continue to love each and every one of you. MERRY CHRISTMAS FAMILY!!!! 

Until next time,

Simone

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Nerves & Excitement

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers – 

This is finally happening. I am leaving home to pursue a career in law.  I move from my parent’s house to my own place in a few days and I am filled with nerves, excitement, and a whole bunch of feelings that I cannot even begin to understand.  I thought I would be facing this moment a couple of years ago, but the plan of God was different and He destined that I leave this year to begin that phase of my future.

As I think about the days to come, I am speechless as I grasp the idea of leaving my family, church family and all I know behind.  I’m utterly on my own, alone as I push toward my dreams.I am going to a place that my friends cannot go with me, even the one I loved more than life could not go and I’ve been placed in a position where it’s me and God for the long run.  I tried to busy myself so I would not have to grapple with these facts, thinking that if my mind is not idle- I can pretend that this transition did not effect me.  But as I am writing this evening, I feel tears threatening to be released from the prison of my eyes- I realize that this is it! This is exactly what I asked  for, prayed for , believed for… and instead of fear I should be filled with courage as i walk into this new place.

Courage.  I want to be courageous- I’ve been prepping for these days for two years and have met more hardships than anyone would ever understand.  I found out over the span of two years who were my friends and who were counterfeits.  I discovered that the word family means different things to different people.  I became guarded. I dumped the practice of being naive and I learned that in life you have to fight for what you want and sometimes you just have to cry it out.  You have to cry out disappoint, you have to cry out fear, you have to cry  and shed as many tears as possible to cleanse the soul.  Sometimes you have to cry to heal and sometimes you have to walk alone so that you can finally learn yourself.

There comes a time in our lives where we have to love ourselves first, so that we can love others.  There comes a time when we have to believe in our dreams, when no one else does.  Finally, sometimes we have to become prisoners of hope and hope for the best regardless of how everything around us is trying to steal that hope.  I fought for where I am, a J.D. candidate in the class of 2019 and I have so much more fighting to do.  I will fight until the end when I am sitting on a judge’s seat making the wrongs of our society right again.  Becoming a lawyer is the next step in the line of many  and the best is yet to come.

So loves, I thought I would share my heart with you this evening and bring encouragement regarding your dreams.  I know life has been tough, believe me I do – but I know that each and every one of you have the power within to change the world.  I believe in your dreams.  I believe in your ability to bring them to pass.  I believe that inside of you is a purpose greater than what you see for yourself and I am excited yet nervous at how you are going to bring your imprint of change to the earth.  I love you guys!

Thanks for being my family, for sharing your lives with me and for welcoming me into your lives as well.  Most importantly, thanks for sticking with me when I did not believe in myself.  Thank you Authentic Lovers!!!

Until next time ( when my workload gets a bit easier lol.),

Simone

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Awkward Family Gatherings

Hello Authentic Lovers!

Hey y’all!  I hope that you guys are having a great Thanksgiving holiday, I am too-kinda….. Well, you see- I am at the most awkward Thanksgiving holiday gathering to date.  I’m at my mom’s parents house and all of her family and even though we live in the same state, we aren’t as close as the other family members that live in town.  So I just pray to God that today doesn’t go terribly wrong.  I’m the only grandchild that has graduated from college with a real job and that’s kind of scary.  It’s like I have graduated from the kids table of my cousins and have entered adulthood to talk about boring things like paystubs and “making it”.  This is the first time that I have ever realized that there is a difference between me and my family members…like an unspoken rule about adulthood.  It’s so weird, so fam..please pray my strength!

great-seeing-few-thanksgiving-ecard-someecards

Enjoy your time with your family,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit: http://mustbethistalltoride.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/family-gathering.jpg

Pic #1 http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/filestorage/great-seeing-few-thanksgiving-ecard-someecards.jpg

F: http://www.facebook.com/authenticlove789

T: @framesofdust8

I: @mynameis_mo578

I’m Thankful….

Hello Authentic Lovers!

As I celebrate Thanksgiving, I could not go on in this day without sharing my heart with each of you.  I am so thankful for God and His everlasting love towards me.  God is my best friend, besides E of course, and He has been with me since the very beginning.  I hope that each of you experiences this type of relationship that I have with Him: sweet, consistent and just lovely.  I am thankful for my loving family.  I have the most amazing parents and a great sister.  We have been through some hard times; homelessness, heartache, lies have been told on us, but nevertheless my family has been strong and proved to bounce back from opposition.  I am thankful for my spunky, over the top, super energetic sister Sierra. She always manages to put a smile on my face.  She has grown to be a lovey young lady and I am so proud of her.  I am thankful for my church family whose prayers have gotten me through some hard times.  This year I am really thankful…

Finally I am thankful for those I have loved and lost; for those I have given my heart to, for those that broke it; for those I made mistakes with and for those that made mistakes with me; all-in-all I am thankful for all of the life lessons I have learned.  I learned to be strong, to be courageous, to never give up.  Lastly, I have learned to love freely and to freely accept love.

I am thankful for each of you, for those who have been reading my work from the beginning.  Thanks for the encouragement!  Thanks for the love!  Your support means everything to me and you make writing such a joy.  Thanks for bringing joy to my life.  I love each and everyone of you and I wish only the best for you!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

P.S. Eat lots of turkey for me…Happy Thanksgiving!

Featured Image Credit: http://amandacarroll.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/thanksss.jpg

Anything Broken Can Be Fixed: A Reconciling God

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

So I was thinking….if something can break then it can be fixed, right? At least I believe so.  I’m sitting in my office and just reflecting on the goodness of God and His power to reconcile and heal.  It’s so easy to think that something that breaks will remain broken forever, which is not necessarily true.  Just because something is broken now, doesn’t mean that it will remain that way forever.

As an optimist, which is probably not the best mindset for my profession lol., I am always looking for the possibility of a good outcome.  So if my friendship breaks for whatever reason, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be repaired.  The only way something can not be fixed, is if I choose not to fix it or if the other individual doesn’t want to fix it.  I am a strong believer that if you want something repaired, you can repair it with God’s help and grace.

God is a fixing God…He loves to reconcile good relationships, destroy bad ones and remind us that just because something looks a certain way now doesn’t mean it will be that way forever.  In  life, there are no guarantees…. We are not guaranteed to live another moment, or to enjoy what’s around us for a second longer than usual.  The only guarantee in life is God and His goodness, grace and mercy.  That being said; things change, people change, situations change and anything can happen.  So just because my sister and I aren’t speaking now doesn’t mean it will remain that way forever. (Just an example, my sister and I are besties lol).  i believe in the possibility of reconciliation and I know that God can do just that.

He reconciled us with His son…so why can’t He repair your relationships?  I think He can!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Like Abraham….

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

These past two weeks have been so emotional, just because of the internal obstacles I have had to face.  Once again, I faced feelings of inadequacy, the opinions of others and the challenge of family and their expectations in my life.  I made up my mind a long time ago that I was going to live my life, whether people approved or not.  I was going to make my own decisions.  These people include my parents.  I have found that other the years, my parents- especially my mom, has this particular vision for my life.  I share some aspects of her vision but I’m not her so some aspects of her vision I do not share and have no intention of following.  My mom’s opinion matters a lot to me and her opinions have caused me to second guess the direction God has been leading me towards in life.  I realized that I rather listen to God and live my life according to His will than to live my life trying to please my mother.  I love my mom, I do – it’s just that I have to live my own life the way God wants me to live it.  I can’t stand before God and say I didn’t do what You told me to because my mom didn’t approve.  There comes a time in our lives where we have to make our own decisions apart from family and friends.  In these times, we will not be popular and they may not believe that our decisions are right but that is all apart of growing up- making your own God ordained decisions.  

I am realizing everyday that God is preparing me like Abraham, he is preparing me to go away from my family and everything that I’ve known before so that I can go a place that He is going to show me.  If we never leave those who have so much influence over us, we will find ourselves never walking out God’s will in our lives.  Doing your own thing is not a matter of disrespect, it’s a matter of growing up and we as a spirit-led people are going to have to explain to our family (esp. parents) that God’s plan is perfect.  Just because they don’t understand the plan, doesn’t mean it’s not God.  They have to trust God’s plan in your life.  I am coming to the place that if God says sleep at the hospital and my mom doesn’t approve, I’m still going to sleep at the hospital because God said so and not because my mom approved.  I don’t need her approval concerning my life.  Her approval would be great, but if she doesn’t approve of  my decisions- I will still love her and move on with what’s ahead.

We have to stop allowing others to have so much control over who we become.  If we’re not careful , people will live their lives vicariously through us and that is not the will of God.  The will of God is for us to be obedient to Him and His word, not to the opinions of others.  Yes, there is accountability.  Yes, God loves submission to leadership.  But, if your leadership is hindering you from fulfilling what God has said, He will either remove your leadership or grasp your attention so that you can heed His voice.  I rather make some people mad, even my mom – then be disobedient to God.  I can’t afford to walk in disobedience and make the wrong choice because of what other’s think would be best for me.  You have to live your own life with God and let others do the same.  I’m not advocating rebellion, I’m advocating taking a stand concerning your life and not living it passively taking the direction of others.  

Some of you guys are going to have to be like Abraham and leave what you know (who you know) behind so that you can move forward into the place God has destined for you.  

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit- http://www.biblebc.com/ChurchInfo/MensRetreat/2012/Abraham%20Friend%20of%20God2.jpg