Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers –
This is finally happening. I am leaving home to pursue a career in law. I move from my parent’s house to my own place in a few days and I am filled with nerves, excitement, and a whole bunch of feelings that I cannot even begin to understand. I thought I would be facing this moment a couple of years ago, but the plan of God was different and He destined that I leave this year to begin that phase of my future.
As I think about the days to come, I am speechless as I grasp the idea of leaving my family, church family and all I know behind. I’m utterly on my own, alone as I push toward my dreams.I am going to a place that my friends cannot go with me, even the one I loved more than life could not go and I’ve been placed in a position where it’s me and God for the long run. I tried to busy myself so I would not have to grapple with these facts, thinking that if my mind is not idle- I can pretend that this transition did not effect me. But as I am writing this evening, I feel tears threatening to be released from the prison of my eyes- I realize that this is it! This is exactly what I asked for, prayed for , believed for… and instead of fear I should be filled with courage as i walk into this new place.
Courage. I want to be courageous- I’ve been prepping for these days for two years and have met more hardships than anyone would ever understand. I found out over the span of two years who were my friends and who were counterfeits. I discovered that the word family means different things to different people. I became guarded. I dumped the practice of being naive and I learned that in life you have to fight for what you want and sometimes you just have to cry it out. You have to cry out disappoint, you have to cry out fear, you have to cry and shed as many tears as possible to cleanse the soul. Sometimes you have to cry to heal and sometimes you have to walk alone so that you can finally learn yourself.
There comes a time in our lives where we have to love ourselves first, so that we can love others. There comes a time when we have to believe in our dreams, when no one else does. Finally, sometimes we have to become prisoners of hope and hope for the best regardless of how everything around us is trying to steal that hope. I fought for where I am, a J.D. candidate in the class of 2019 and I have so much more fighting to do. I will fight until the end when I am sitting on a judge’s seat making the wrongs of our society right again. Becoming a lawyer is the next step in the line of many and the best is yet to come.
So loves, I thought I would share my heart with you this evening and bring encouragement regarding your dreams. I know life has been tough, believe me I do – but I know that each and every one of you have the power within to change the world. I believe in your dreams. I believe in your ability to bring them to pass. I believe that inside of you is a purpose greater than what you see for yourself and I am excited yet nervous at how you are going to bring your imprint of change to the earth. I love you guys!
Thanks for being my family, for sharing your lives with me and for welcoming me into your lives as well. Most importantly, thanks for sticking with me when I did not believe in myself. Thank you Authentic Lovers!!!
Until next time ( when my workload gets a bit easier lol.),