I Got It Wrong

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers-

Around this time five years ago, I wrote a post called “My Only” expressing joy in the idea that I found (what I believed) to be my “one and only,” the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I thought I found the love of my life. I was wrong. I found a man that was incapable of loving me to the capacity that I needed. I was looking over my blog memories when my stats revealed that someone read that post a few days ago. My first thought: “Simone, delete that post!!! That relationship failed, get rid of the memories of your failures, erase the post.” But, that isn’t life, we can’t go around erasing the terrible things that we’ve experienced. We face our failures, we accept them and we learn from them. So here are three reasons, I believe my getting it wrong was necessary for me to learn how to get it right.

  1. I accepted the love I thought I deserved: subpar, broken and inconsistent. The guy I thought was forever, in hindsight, did not love me well. And to tell you the truth, I can’t blame him. He was not loved well and he had no genuine connection to the One who loved him well. When your life is absent from the Creator of Love, it’s hard to love others. Instead, you love them through your broken version of the love you’ve received. That is the way he loved me: from a place of fear/distance, insecurity which drove his patterns of lying about stupid things, ghosting and poor communication and mediocre because to invest in love is to open himself up to the possibility to be in pain. He prided himself to be a master of pain avoidance and he did this by loving from a shallow place. The worst part was I loved the same way: my friendships were not deep by any measure of the imagination. I was trying to be everything for him, even if it meant being untrue to myself. Lastly, he was everything and because I did not think highly of myself; it was like girl you betta take what you can get. WRONG!!! Now, I’ve grown and I can see that God was like “Homegirl, you deserve so much better!” Thank God!  
  2. I was not okay with being alone. In fact, being and dying alone was one of my biggest fears. Therefore, I settled with “better than what I had” but not necessarily great. Anything that is better than what you had always seemed to be the best but it is not until you understand what you’re worth that you realize what you’ve settled for. There is nothing wrong with looking back and being like “he’s not that great- in fact he’s trash!” I wasn’t secure within myself to have that moment of awakening but God not waiting on my point of enlightenment, in mercy, decided to save this girl from herself! I’m so grateful He did. Because, if we’re honest not one ounce of love lives in fear; so to build a love out of it would be a decision to settle for a love that is indeed false. Perfect love expels fear; there is no fear in true love. As I’ve grown and come to love myself, I seek to be absent of fear and perfected in love. It is the heart of the Father that we are full of love and void of fear and that should be demonstrated in our relationships. To be unafraid is to be truly in love. 
  3.  I realized that I needed to heal. Yep, there were wounds that I neglected thinking that I would find healing in my relationship but that’s not how it works, you are to come to your relationship whole ready to complement them. It is so dangerous to bring your open wounds to someone and expect them to have the balm to heal you. It breeds codependency and easy disappointment. God knew that I needed to heal, that I needed to be alone to really seek him for this necessary balm. The best thing that could have happened was the ending of my relationship because the end of that thing opened my heart to the fact that there were wounds that needed to heal. Ladies and gents, the best thing you can do is heal. Heal and then enter into relationships with other people. Don’t bring your baggage into your relationships and place expectations on people to heal you. Only God heals, so allow him to heal you with His love.

Friends, the guy I was with was NOT my one and only, but he was integral to my growth. He taught me what I did not want in a person. He taught me what I was not willing to settle for. He taught me that what I’ve embraced was not real love. I’m grateful that things ended because it gave me the freedom to learn about myself and to love me.  So, there is no need to fear mistakes because even our mistakes are redeemable in the hands of God.  He has this tendency to take our bad things and He promises to make them work for our good.  He rights our wrongs. 

God allowed me to get it wrong so that He could make one thing right, me!  

Xoxo, 

Simone 

FIC: https://i2.wp.com/digital-photography-school.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/black-white-mistakes-4.jpg?resize=750%2C750&ssl=1

A Lover of Love

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers- 

I hope you all are having a great Saturday.  I love love, but I realized that I don’t love it as much as the one who created me.  God loves love.  Like for reals… God loves love.  So much so, that he desired someone to love deeply and that is why he made us:  man and woman.  He wanted to love and to be loved.  I think that is why we all have this innate desire to be loved because we were made in the image of our Creator.  So, we have a God that has everything, a huge house, streets made of money, angels who serve on the regular and there is still something missing- us.  To fulfill a need, God created mankind to love him, each other and all that he has placed into the Earth.  How beautiful is the understanding that God made us to love us?  He didn’t need any more servants, he had plenty (angels); he didn’t need any more beautiful things, he made so many (stars, flowers, etc.); he didn’t need any more houses, he had a huge one with a shiny throne on the inside; he didn’t need any more money, for his streets were made of gold.  But there was one single need, God needed someone to love.  He needed someone to lavish love upon, to demonstrate love to, he needed someone to love well.  Because of this and this alone, he created you and I.  I was created because God wanted someone to love. 

When we come to the place where we see our Heavenly Father as a lover of love and not a beacon of hatred and terror, it is then that we can appreciate the sacrifice of his Son.  We get so caught up at seeing God as this hard taskmaster, waiting for us to mess up- hating us for what we do that we lose sight of the reason by which we were created.  We were created to love and to be loved by Him.  Do you know why God hates sin?  I mean, really know?  It’s because sin creates separation between us and Him.  When God created Eden and formed man in the garden, scripture speaks of a time where man and God were not separated.  He was our homie, hanging out every waking moment.  I could imagine, man and God fishing together or taking walks on the nature trails, or even sitting up late to count the stars- all TOGETHER. As soon as Adam and Eve ate that dreaded fruit, they were aware of one of the biggest evils known to man: BAD SEPARATION.  Think about it:  all criminal activity results in bad separation. When we steal, we separate the owner from their possession.  When we kill, we separate that person from their loved ones, co-workers, and just the world.  When we engage in adultery and various sexual affairs, we separate a person from a covenant they made with their partner.  All pain stems from some type of bad separation: whether separation from joy, peace, trust or happiness.  GOD NEVER DESIGNED OUR WORLD TO BE FILLED WITH SEPARATION FROM WHAT’S GOOD.  However, this is the mission of sin.  Sin is designed, advertised and encouraged to breed separation from God and good and its biggest hype man is the thief, the accuser, Satan.

I bet you’re like whoah, wasn’t expecting the Sunday School lesson and that may be the case, but I’m sharing all of this so that you all may gain a deeper understanding of the one who designed you, who formed you and called you good.  It is my desire that you may know Him and know Him rightly.

So,  we have this Lover who made us to be loved and here we are loving everything but Him.  I mean we love our jobs more than Him, we love our significant others/spouses more than Him, we even love our pets more than Him.  Though He designed us to be loved and to love Him well, we don’t in fact- many of us aren’t even submitted to Him, yet He loves us anyway.  I remember a time in my life when I loved everything more than I loved Him.  I mean, I sought for things to replace His spot in my life.  Time progressed, people entered my life and people left but yet He was still there seeking to love me.  How beautiful it is to be loved consistently.  His love didn’t waver because of my behavior and I didn’t have to work to earn His love,  He freely gave it time and time again.  His ultimate goal is a relationship that would stand the test of eternity.  He desires that there would be no separation between Him and me.

This is the One whom I live for. An honest guy who loves love, who hates sin because it causes separation and who desires to love and be loved by me.  This is the core of who He is.  Every other quality, trait, and characteristic is like a beautiful bonus: icing on the cake to the solid foundation of who He is.  May you rest in the simplicity of his decision to love you.  He decided to love you before he made you, seeking to demonstrate his love for you throughout each day of your life.  Bad things happenI know and the question comes, if God loves me why did this happen?  This is the question I’ve asked multiple times, but then I came to the understanding that God is not the orchestrator of the bad things in my life.  He’s not out here seeking to make me sad, or to destroy my esteem or to take life from me.  There’s another presence at work, super jealous that God loves me with all of my flaws – so he works overtime to cause me to doubt this love I was given.  The thief comes to steal, kill and to destroy and he is responsible for the evil we see in this world.  “For I have come that you may have life, and life more abundantly.” (Jn. 10:10)  God desires that I live and that I live to the fullness, only someone who loves us can hope so deeply that we live well.

I am loved.  I was created to be loved.  I was created to love God.  I was created to love others well.  This is the core of why I am here, this is who I am. 

Xoxo,

Simone 

FIC: https://www.jashow.org/articles/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/garden-large.jpg

here we go again.

here we go again. 

these are the words that come to mind, 

as I sit, read, analyze, listen, doze off and repeat 

going through this cycle called life...

yet I've escaped the Ferris wheel. 

my inward carnival is out of business, 

and the havoc of the Topsy-turvy, up and down- has stopped. 

maybe it's because I'm finally healthy.

whole in my mind, emotions - no longer run by my previous slave master: feelings. 

i  feel and therefore I am not. 

i see and therefore I can accomplish. 

i believe and therefore I can have- it all. 

for I've found consistency in You. 

here we go again, 

yet here we are to something new. 

same law school, new perspective.

same agenda, new energy.

same people, new heart. 

this is what freedom feels like. 

this is what it means to be alive... 

©Simone Holloway, 2018
FIC: http://images.mentalfloss.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/8a11317r-565×376.jpg

Nuach

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

Rest. Sweet Rest.  I don’t know about you all but I have a HUGE problem resting…  It’s actually one of my biggest flaws.  I’m so used to doing that I’ve forgotten the importance of being.  The word in the title of this piece is the Hebrew word for rest, “Nuach” which is a theme threaded all through out the love story of scripture.  In fact, rest was so important that even God himself took time out of his process of creation to rest.

 So… why is rest so hard????

Maybe…it’s because when we are at our total element of rest, we are forced to face our thoughts and the realities around us.  I don’t know about you all but I’ve been a person have always ran from my thoughts.  Instead of facing what I felt or what I perceived around me, I buried myself in doing so I can forget about what it meant to be.

If you talk to a workaholic, they’ll let you know that the real reason they choose to work all the time is rooted from them not wanting to face SOMETHING.  Whether that thing is lack– lack of love, lack of companionship, lack of community, lack of fulfillment.  Or awareness– awareness of whose really in their lives, awareness of the emptiness within their hearts or just a plain awareness of how their lives are versus how they desire life to be.  I think I was running from my fears… you know those pesky things that remind you what you can or cannot do.  Fears are one of those things that breed worry, anxiety and doubt.  As long as I was in school, WORKING/DOING, I didn’t have time to face my fears- I could camouflage them under “hard work,” “dedication,” “new diets” and etc.

Do you know what’s so dope about God?  He is not content with us running away from things, but he will position us in a place to face what we are running away from.  So much so that sometimes,  he will use periods of rest to cause us to think about what we have tried to bury for so long.  God uses rest to gain our attention, to equip us to change, to restore our souls and to cultivate us into who He has destined us to be- that is the purpose of rest.

So… have you found yourself in a season of stillness?  A time of having nothing to do? We usually get frustrated with our lives during these times but maybe just maybe, you’re in the position you’re in on purpose.  Maybe God has designed this season for rest so that you can finally face things, heal, be restored and move on.  One of my dear friends Amanda always say, “God is not looking for us to do, he just wants us to be.” It is with this understanding of the Lord that we can rest in Him.   Y’all, I’m walking this thing out with you all- facing what I’ve placed on the back burner of my mind and I’m learning to rest in Him.

Ladies and Gents, may you find your lives in a season of rest. God is not looking for you to do, but he is asking that you learn to be all that he has created for you to be.

Until next time,

Simone

FIC:  https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/7f/84/11/7f8411d992df842bfdd45da794712faf.jpg

Examine Yourself

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

Have you ever had one of those “reality check” moments?  Like, one of those times when you became aware of who you truly were? I think we all have moments like these and they come when we have ignored the voice of God way too long.  I had one of those moments a few hours ago, I realized that I needed to be real with myself and with God.  Sometimes we are not in the situations we face because of the Enemy or the devil, we are in our predicaments because of us.  We placed ourselves in these various circumstances but then look to God and blame Him for our situation.  It’s not God’s fault but ours.  That’s a tough pill to swallow but it is not until we come into truth that we can: be free.  Jesus said,  “For you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. (John 8:32) “  It is the truth that sets us free, not our fantasies, excuses and rejection of what truly is – but truth.  So today, I came face to face with some hard truth about myself and it was that truth that compelled my desire to change.

With today being first Sunday, I know my home church performed communion.  My mom always read 1  Corinthians 11:28a, “But let a man examine himself…” This practice of examining ourselves is this check to determine our standing with God.  Sometimes we can become  so comfortable in our sin that we forget that our standing with God matters.  Christianity is not solely about Heaven, but what is the point to spend so many days in church just to end up in Hell? Why waste our precious time to live halfway committed to God?

We halfway worship,  we halfway praise.  We know all the scriptures, but can’t live them out.  We can speak in some kind of tongue, dance a church down with our coordinated two -step but can’t live and speak holy.  What is the point to do the most, if I’m not going to spend eternity with Him?  I’m at this place in my life,  where church homiletics and routines are no l longer cutting it.  I’m no longer trying to look the part of a Christian, I’m about being a Christian in all its entirety.  If I’m going to look a part, I’m just deceiving myself.

Today  I came to myself, I recognized that my heart and my mind was keeping me from this next place in God.  I needed a new heart, a new mind, a new outlook on life.  The cycle of barely trusting God, believing one day and then complaining tomorrow was going to keep me in stuck in a mediocre relationship with God.  I saw myself as super selfish, super whiny and someone who was more blessed than I realized.  Yes, life is tough but everyone’s life is tough and that’s why we have a God who is more concerned with us than we are sometimes with him.  God is not asking for my complaints, He is seeking my heart to trust him in the midst of where I am.

If we judge ourselves, we don’t have to worry about anyone judging us.

One of the teens in my church’s youth group preached a message called, “Check Yourself.” and I speak that to each of you – check yourself.  Are you who you say you are?  Are you as devout to the gospel as you appear to be?  Looks can be deceiving…. If you’re not where you need to be in God, get there and get there fast because we don’t have time to keep up appearances.  We don’t have time to appear to be whole when we are indeed broken.  We don’t have time to appear to be free when we are truly bound.  We don’t have time to fake our peace living in a state of torment.  We don’t have time …

When we are honest with ourselves, it is then we are made whole. It is truth that sets us free and it is confession that heals us.  I don’t know about y’all but I am ready to live in the fullness of what God created for me to be. I am ready to change.  I am ready…

Until next time,

Simone

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Don’t Avoid The Pain

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

Welcome to the new  Authentic Love blogging site!  Are you excited for the new year?  I am and I am also looking forward to some new  big things!

Well family and friends… I was doing some study for tomorrow’s Sunday school lesson when something came to me- “Don’t seek to avoid the pain.”  How many of us actually like pain?  Be honest.  Who actually enjoys the process of pain? Any kind of pain?  Society has ingrained within us that if something hurts then we need to avoid it, because pain is bad and we need to avoid the feeling of pain at all costs.  Why do you think prescription med sales are at an all time high?  It’s because we live in a world readily seeking to numb the agony that is around them.  So instead of changing habits and  moving to become better, we band-aid the issue with a pain reliever in hopes that will be enough.

Think about it.  Have we truly taken the band-aid off of the those sensitive issues in our lives and allowed the cold air to touch the open wound?  No…why not? Because that would make us feel pain.  And no one wants to feel pain.  I rather take my Advil then feel my body go through the healing process.

In order to heal there must be pain.

When we fall and  scrape our knees, we feel pain because that is our body’s way of saying “Hey I’m paying attention and I’m sending what is necessary for healing.” If we would have fallen and our body felt nothing, then our body would not be working within it’s  God-designed purpose of self healing.

Pain prompts healing.

When we seek to avoid pain; avoid opening those “can of worms” out the fear of our hearts hurting- we are taking away the ability for us to heal and become new.  The good part about the healing process is that the pain is temporary and when we finish healing- that place that once hurt before look and feel almost brand new.

Tonight, I studied the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.  He endured this painful death that lasted a few hours, to be granted the chance to sit in all of His glory on the right hand of the Father for eternity.  His temporary pain, caused his eternal glory.

God is waiting for us to endure that temporary season of cutting away, pruning, addressing those hard things- so that when we heal, our healing can be eternal.

God wants us to be whole and not just bandaged up as temporary relief.  This is the year of being new, of looking new, of loving new and that comes through healing that is perpetuated through the process of pain.

Friends don’t avoid the pain, deal with it and heal so that you can live a life that is whole.

Until next time,

Simone 🙂

“Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2

FIC:https://draltang.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/jesus_cross_nail02.jpg

Bullet Infections

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

I’m so sorry to post so late, I’ve been trying to avoid spilling my true feelings on this here blog- but what can I say: Here we are.  Tonight’s post is appropriately titled “Bullet Infections” because I believe some of us are suffering in our hearts with this very issue. I’I think there comes a time in our lives where we experience pain, some stronger than others- but still again pain.  It’s like we are hit with bullets that we can either choose to address or pretend that we were never hit.  I think I lived a life filled with pretending, pretending that things did not bother me.  I spent a lifetime pretending that I didn’t have a broken heart or that I never faced serious rejection, when in fact I did.

I was in prayer today when I realized that I was once again- not treating the bullet that hit me in the heart, therefore causing my heart to be infected with all kinds of things such as fear, bitterness, resentment and etc.  We cannot move forward until we deal with our hurt and pain.  Here’s the deal fam: I care for someone who has proven not to care about me.  This person speaks of their care for me and mutual respect but yet slaps me in the face with rejection on a consistent basis.  The last time I was rejected, I said- “Oh I don’t care.  It doesn’t bother me.” But in all honesty, it did and I caused me to question everything even my relationship with God.  When a seed of rejection is sown, that thing has to be uprooted or it’ll sprout  something horrendous and open the door to the Enemy to run havoc in one’s heart.

I was infected, because instead of removing the bullet from my heart- I did not acknowledge it and therefore the wound got infected.  Wounds need care to heal!  I needed my heart to heal and that started with me acknowledging that something was wrong.  We need to acknowledge that something is wrong in order to become better.  So this evening, I’m healing and as I heal -I know that I will be able to help others in their healing journey.

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit: https://conversationsonthefringe.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/broken-heart.jpg

Go Your Way And Sin No More

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

Being that today is Freedom Friday, I thought I would address the dangers of entertaining the enemy after your deliverance.  I have been guilty of this, so I can discuss this- but even today I made up my mind that I was no longer going to entertain the demons that held me bound prior to deliverance.  The fact of the matter is: Christ sets us free.  He does, in fact John 8:36 states “Who the Son has set free is free indeed” meaning that once He has set you free, you are without a doubt free.  I think the problem arises when we allow the old things that kept us bound to dictate to us concerning our freedom, and therefore we fall back into the bondage we fought so hard to get out of.  I’m reminded of Jesus in John 5, how he healed the man that was sick for 38 years (he was crippled/paralyzed).  Jesus told the man to take up his bed and to walk.  He then found the man later and said  “You art made whole. Go your way and sin no more, lest something worse come upon you.”  This phrase “Go your way and sin no more” stood out to me because it showed me that the individual( man by the pool of Bethesda) was in the situation that he was in- ultimately because of sin.

 Sin crippled him, Sin paralyzed him, and Sin had this man stuck in a painful place in life for 38 years.

Christ knowing this…approaches and heals this man of his infirmity, but then comes back forgives the sin and warns of the aftermath if the man returns back to that lifestyle.

I think that by Christ coming back and giving that warning, He was so wise.  Think about it.  If my friend was an alcoholic ( had real trouble with alcohol), I would not take him/her to a bar.  Even though they may be strong enough to be in that environment, it would still be foolish of me to have what kept them bound in their vicinity.  Here’s another example, say this man kidnapped me and hid me in his warehouse for a number of years.  He fed me and gave me water but he tortured me and destroyed my self-esteem.  The FBI gets word of my disappearance; they come, find and rescue me from the captivity of this man.  I’m a free agent once again and I began to live life on my own.  But what if, I return back to the one that put me into captivity.  I showed up at the warehouse and I submit to my kidnapper once more, all of you would say that I made a stupid decision.  I would get calls like “HOW COULD YOU?” and “WHY????” and “THE FBI SHOULDN’T HELP YOU THIS TIME.” Some might even call saying “WE HAVE WASTED OUR TIME AND RESOURCES ON YOU.”  That’s just the honest-truth.  The sad part is, we are like the character I portrayed to you tonight. Sin has kidnapped our free will, has bound and tormented us.  So Christ being the awesome person He is, He comes like the FBI- He finds, rescue and sets us free.  The kicker is: WE RETURN BACK TO OUR SIN!!!!.  Does God the Son complain?  No.  Does He view us as a waste of time and resources? No. In fact, He rescues us again and again.  But why live in bondage, when you can be free?  Why live in this victim mentality, when you can be victorious? WHY???

So this evening, I whisper to you the same words that Jesus whispered to me : “You are made whole- Your sins are forgiven. Go your way and sin no more, lest something worse come upon you.”

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

P.S. For more passages of scripture regarding this subj, Check out : John 8: 1-11; Hebrews 12:1-2, Romans 12: 1-2, Galatians 5:1, and etc.  There are many more about staying in the liberty of Christ.  If you have any questions: feel free to email me @ authenticlove789@gmail.com, you can tweet or DM me @framesofdust8 or you can message me on our Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/authenticlove789.  I ❤ you guys so much; stay encouraged!

Featured Image Credit: http://thecovenantdiet.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/your-sins-have-been-forgiven-go-and-sin-no-more.jpeg

Come Clean

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers –

Happy Freedom Friday! I know it’s been a while since I’ve featured a story but I’m working on that – I promise!  Anyways I thought that I would give you the ultimate secret to walking in freedom….I know, right? 😉  The ultimate tool to living in freedom just based on my personal experience is to :Come Clean.  Yep, that’s it!  Speak about what you are struggling with.  Talk about the demons you are fighting with someone you can trust.

You know as a God-fearing woman, I am not even close to perfection.  I feel like when you tell people you are a Christian, they expect you to be Mother Teresa or something- they expect perfection.  I’m not even close to perfection….not even close, but I’m striving in that direction. Because of some insecurities, feelings of rejection and the idea that I could never be loved- I found myself watching and getting into pornography.  This is strange from someone who had a great family background, one friend and seemed like the golden child.  The thing is the Enemy doesn’t care if you came from a good family or if you go to church, its His job to destroy mankind and sometimes He gets us to destroy ourselves with bad habits and addictions.  Anyways…I was in church struggling with this secret sin.  I wouldn’t engage in porn everyday but when I was super depressed- it was like a binge addiction.  It’s crazy how the virgin was a porn addict but that happens when you aren’t secure in who you are.  At first I was so ashamed to tell people that I needed help.  I needed help because I couldn’t dream without an explicit sex scene being in my mind.  I couldn’t look at people the same way because my vision was so sexual and I felt guilty by the thoughts I was having about people.  This thing was tormenting me and I wanted to be clean again.  I felt so dirty and tainted and I knew that God was not pleased with my actions…so I reached out for help.  I told my pastors( who are my parents) and they didn’t judge me like I thought – they prayed with me and and gave me some tools to break this habit.  I told my best friend and she would hold me accountable for what I watched on TV and etc.  I don’t have a porn addiction anymore and I don’t even watch R- rated movies with explicit scenes in them because I don’t want to put myself in that “dirty” place.  I had to come clean with God first and then with people I trusted so that I could get to the root of the problem within myself and receive freedom.

Coming clean is not always easy and sometimes its really scary because you don’t know how those you tell are going to react but I can tell you that coming clean takes courage and its worth it when you do.  The Enemy can not keep you bound to something that you exposed.  If you expose yourself, he can’t torment you with the secrecy of it all.  I learned that when you need help you are to live out your conviction and ask for help.  We are human and can’t save ourselves and when we think we can do it on our own we fail every single time.  We need a support system, we need to tell God ( even though He already knows) and we need to get healed.  Some of us are alcoholics, some of us are drug addicts (prescription drugs count), some of us self-mutilate and all of these habits and patterns stem from a deep level of hurt and pain that we cannot even describe.  We need to deal with these things and come clean.  I realized that my addiction to porn was stemmed from a level of rejection, loneliness and bitterness of what happened to me as a child.  It was my way of controlling the level of love my body experienced but you’ll never reached the first high  that you hit so I ended up more empty and the love I desired was more artificial than anything else.  I’m strong enough to tell the world about what I’ve been through because that is how we overcome, when we speak out about what we dealt with and what we are going through- WE BECOME VICTORIOUS!

If you don’t have anyone that you can talk to that you can trust, you can talk to me.  Email me at authenticlove789@gmail.com.  I check my email regularly and will respond to you promptly.  Now that I’m free…I will do whatever it takes to make sure you experience freedom.  I love each and everyone of you!! Remember: you can’t be bound to something that you expose!  If you have any questions for me- reach out!  I’m not easily embarrassed and I will answer your questions.

Finally….

“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony,” Revelations 12:11a;

 “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.” James 5: 16a 

I love you!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

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