Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers,
I had a friend once who every time we would work together say “The new adventures of old Simone”. I used to laugh and agree with him until one Christmas he said the same thing and I did not like it. “No….the new adventures of new Simone, get it right.” I said as matter -of -factually as one can say in a bandanna dancing to Christmas music. It was as if his words rubbed me the wrong way and I did not want to be recognized with my old self. I was becoming new inside and out and his comment struck a chord of anger deep down inside of me. I’ve lived a majority of my life doing the same old same old, day in and day out. I was a creature of habit and loved routines, wasn’t really big on spontaneity or trying something new. Crazy, huh? Looking back, I am slightly flabbergasted at my lack of a fun gene being in my body. Anyways, I hated change and because of this kept having new adventures with my old boring self.
That Christmas I was seeking everything in my life to be new. I was getting rid of old boyfriends, crushes, flings, friendships, etc and was looking for something new. I even stopped hanging out with the same people. I was becoming bored and stale and sought for some excitement. This meant that the months before Christ’s birthday- I pushed the envelope on my interests. I began to listen to different types of music, eat different types of food. Everything I said I would never eat, I ate so that I could make an informed judgment. I went hiking for one of the first times, spent some time in a canoe and basically became slightly outdoorsy. I decided that I was going to try everything i could and not live life safe because I was afraid of the risks. I became fearless.
This new mantra slightly scared my friend, I didn’t realize it before but the old me was a point of safety for him. I was steady and for me to get up and change everything was frightening. What I saw as boring and outdated, he saw as safe and reliable. What I saw as old, he saw as vintage and timeless. I was trying so hard to reinvent myself that I lost the core attributes of who I was. There is nothing wrong about being steady, having a routine and being on top of things. There is also nothing wrong with expanding your horizons and spontaneity, there just has to be a balance. I lost my balance.
The next year, I returned back to my true self and I appreciated all that I learned during my period of pushing the envelope. I appreciate creation but would rather stay in a hotel than camp. I love to canoe but not for extensive amounts of time and I realized that I am a Gospel music girl and that’s okay. I am steady and because I like things a certain way does not mean that I’m boring or old but rather that I am reliable and timeless. I have fun and I enjoy life to point that even when it seems like life is drastically changing, my inner core foundation with God and others stay the same. Welcome to the new adventures of old Simone.
Until next time,
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