Seasons Change

Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers- 

Happy Wednesday!  I’m so sorry, I know it’s been a while since we chatted.  I’ve been incredibly busy. Between my job, an increased workload and a lot of new responsibility, life has been slightly overwhelming.  I work for an agency that help people in need.  Did you know that around the holidays, evictions are at an all-time high?  Yep, crazy right?   I talk to people all day who are in crisis situations.  It’s so disheartening, yet it’s fulfilling when our agency is able to provide the help that they need. Friends, I’ve been leaning into grace more and more.  Anyways, today, I wanted to share my thoughts about how quickly seasons change.

Once upon a time, a couple of months ago actually, I was sitting with the Lord complaining about the inactivity of my life.  I remember carrying on about how I wished things would pick up.  As a born-bred city girl, I do not know how to rest. I am a bonafide go-getter who is always looking to what’s next:  the next project, the next adventure, the next creative idea.  I am fascinated with the next and I live future-oriented.  This can be good sometimes in that this mindset keeps me from being bogged down in my past.  However, this trait can be terrible because it causes me to miss out on all the beauty that lies within my present. During those few months, my life was still- I mean really still.  I would describe it as boring.  I complained and complained some more.   I was not satisfied with the sweet stillness of my present.  Ultimately, my season changed.  As soon as I became comfortable with stillness, activity returned back to my life and now I am busier than ever.  I mean EXTREMELY BUSY! I can’t remember the last time I took a nap.  My alarm goes off at 6 in the morning and I don’t see my bed again to about 11pm that evening.  I’m on the go.  Yet, it is now that I yearn for those sweet moments of rest.  Now, I appreciate stillness.

Friends, I think the moral of this share-fest is to find contentment in the here and now.  Enjoy rest, honor rest because rest lasts only a short while.  Honor activity, learn from your busy seasons because you’ll need the vibrancy in life to make you yearn for sweet stillness.  God being so balanced in everything he does, orchestrates our seasons to what we can handle.  He teaches us about ourselves and he reveals his goodness in the process.  Trust Him and find your way with Him. This go-getter appreciates a day off and has found peace in knowing that the work can wait.

May you find balance and come to appreciate each season in your life.

Xoxo,

Simone

P.S.  Since my life is a little hectic, please know that I love each of you.  I will respond to your emails, DMs, and other forms of communication as quickly as I can.  Bear with me and know that I’m praying for you all always.  Much love!

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Yes, I’m Single… But No, I’m Not Looking…

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

As you know, this is a relationship blog.  As you also know, I am currently not in a relationship- not because I can’t be in one but rather I am choosing to wait for the person for me rather than settling for someone to fill a spot in my life.  I’m learning as I mature in this walk with Christ, that it is better to wait on God than to jump into things and make a mess.  I’ve made so many mistakes, adding people to my life that were never supposed to be there in the first place- constantly looking for that special someone.

I was at an event for a friend at my local jazz club, the owners of the club asked her (a gospel/christian artist) to headline a gospel series at their club. I am so proud of her, her music is going beyond the four walls of the church.  I sat there and watched her sing about Jesus to those who may or may have not known Him.  Anyways…there were so many couples, all lovely in their own right and even though I was single, I felt comfortable in my own skin- comfortable enough to even sit by myself if needed.  My friend, the bass player for the band, looked at me and said “Simone, why do you look so nice?  You looking for a man?”  I replied with “No, I don’t need to look.  He’ll find me.”  He was like “Oh really? Oh ok.”

There used to be a time when I would have replied, “You know…I’m always on the lookout! Gotta do what I got to do…” but now I am at the place, where I’m not looking for anyone.  I’m living a  life in the pursuit of pleasing God.  I’m striving to help my family and friends and I am just trying to see the good in each day- yes, a relationship would be wonderful but it’s not my focus as of now.  I believe that if I spend my time doing God’s work, He’ll handle the rest of my life.  He will send that person that is just right for me.

I love the story of Ruth and Boaz because Ruth never sought Boaz out, she was busy working to help her mother-in-law. She was concerned about others and their needs, and God gave her what she needed a person to provide and take care of her.

We spend so much time looking for things to add to our own lives that we restrict God the opportunity to do the adding for us.  

So yes, I’m single but no I’m not looking for someone to come into my life.  When the time is right, he just will….

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

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Meet The Love Of My Life

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

I have mentioned my love in prose and poetry but I don’t think you all have been properly introduced.  Blog family meet Yeshua aka Jesus Christ (the Lover of my Soul), Yeshua meet my blog family!!! Now that you have been properly introduced, I thought I would make something very clear.  I love both groups very much but family, this dude (Yeshua) is my ace, my rock, my love, He’s everything to me.  He has been with me through thick and thin and His love inspires some of the most popular posts on this website.  So please don’t be offended family, when I talk about Him a lot. That is what people in love do, they talk about the person that have made their soul come alive- He has rejuvenated me, He makes my spirit comes alive!   So you might hear me talk about my Love a lot and I’m telling you… Like real talk!  His love is not like any love that I’ve ever known.  One taste of His love and your soul cease to crave love and happiness, in Him is fulfillment.  I hope that you guys get along and I pray that ya’ll become friends, or it might get a little awkward.  -_- .  Well peeps, I’ll talk to you later and I wish you an amazing day!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

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To Be Reunited

To be reunited with the Lover of My Soul

to be made whole

in a single moment

a simple gesture of atonement

the residue removed of my past sin

To be enveloped into the arms of my Love

to look at his beautiful face above

my own

bone of my bone

His soul and mine tied from within.

My lips curl into a smile

I long for just a little while

to be in the same room as him

through thick and thin

we’ve journey through life together

nothing can come and tether

this love that we share

His heart knows my cares

and we long to be in the same room

sharing the closeness of a tomb

confined in a space smaller than our hearts

love painted on canvases of art

We long for our reunion

one that goes beyond our soul’s communion

that we acknowledge everyday

forever we long to stay

in the arms of one another

with love stronger than a child has for their mother

we the bridegroom and the bride long to start

a life where we never have to be apart.

©Simone Holloway, 2015

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I Love Me

Hello old friends, fellow bloggers and new followers-

Today has been an amazing day so far, I have no complaints.  As a college graduate (*pause* YAY!!!!!!!!), I know- you guys are happy for me :), I have spent the day in reflection mode- considering the important lessons learned.  The one thing I learned over the course of this school year and now as I transition into the summer, I learned to love me.  This blog is about God, love, relationships and life- but after all this time, I have finally learned to love me for me.  I learned to love all of myself; my flaws, weaknesses, strengths, beauty, intelligence, etc.  I learned to love me; with all my mess and mistakes, with the cracks and flaws, all of me.  This feeling is something that I can not even describe to you, it’s like the warmth of a good chocolate chip cookie- all ooey and gooey inside.  This love takes over and it heals, strengthens, and beautifies.  This love is one amazing love!

I learned that you can’t truly love someone else until you love yourself.  You can’t appreciate someone else’s beauty until you can appreciate your own and you can’t see goodness in others until you recognize the good that is within you.

By learning to love myself, I am now free to love someone else completely, and he is free to completely love me.  God is so amazing and His love is so right …it produces that ooey gooey feeling that is inside of our hearts and it’s warmth carries us even on the coldest of days.  Because I am loved by Him and He has placed His love inside of me, I can love someone with this warm type of love and feel no shame, guilt,or embarrassment.  Sometimes we feel guilty for indulging in this type of love , but at the end of the day- we don’t deserve this unconditional warm love but it is freely given to us and in return we should freely give it to another.

Now that I love myself, I won’t allow old insecurities to contaminate my love for another.  Now that I love myself, I won’t feel the need to validate myself through the love of another.  Now that I love myself, I won’t sabotage future relationships because I don’t think I deserve to be loved with the love of Christ – an unconditional, no strings attached type of love.  Now that I love myself, I can freely love someone else without the constant image of hurt and disappointment, replaying in my mind.  Because Christ loves me and I love me, now- I can love someone else!

 Until next time,

Mo

P.S. The one who wins my heart is going to love me for me….Afro and all lol. afro

Waking Up on the Right Side of the Bed

Hello blog fam! It’s been awhile since we have spoken.  I’ve been extremely busy, I’m in college so I’m taking finals now and just trying to wrap up the semester.  This is my last fall semester in Undergrad.  It’s crazy how fast time flies and we find ourselves yet again at the beginning of a new adventure.  Next year, I will find myself in a new state in law school experiencing life once again through the lens of NEW.  Crazy, absolutely insane!  I’m so excited and truly ready to move on to this new phase of my life but I am trying to enjoy the time I have left in this phase, in this season.  So while I take a break from studying for a final, I write this brief message to you: Remember to wake up on the right side of the bed.  What?  This is the special message that she took 3-5 days to write? What?  Not exactly.  This thought just came to me a few minutes ago.  Wake up on the right side of the bed.

Bed_in_Seattle_hotel

When a person  “wakes up on the right side of the bed”, they wake up with a sense of peace, happiness and contentment.  This is what I wish for each of you that read this blog.  I wish you a sense of peace, happiness and contentment.  I remember telling one of my best friends that I wished for him a peace that would fill him up and never let him go, that even when it seems all hell has broken loose, he would still have a smile on his face.  This is the type of peace that I wish for all of you.  I’ve had the blessing of experiencing this peace and everyday I get a chance to experience it again and again.  I can stand in the midst of my trials and laugh at them knowing that everything is going to work out for me.  I was speaking to this same friend and I remember saying: Everything is going to work out for me because God’s got my back. Good news!  God ‘s got your back too!  Because of His support, you never have to worry about what’s next or what’s to come.  You never have to worry about what you are going to eat, wear, stay, or even worry about who will be in your life for whatever particular seasons- He’s got your back.  God takes care of those that are His.

What does this mean, you might be asking?  Those who are His? I thought we all belonged to Him? No. we do not all belong to Him.  We only belong to Him, if we accept His Son.  Those who accept the Son, accept Him.  Those who deny the Son, deny Him.  That’s the difference.  We are His children if we ask Him into our hearts and give our lives to Him.  It is when we relinquish our own will and adopt His that the relationship changes and he becomes our Father and we His child.  He is the giver of this peace, this happiness and contentment.  He makes me wake up on the right side of the bed.  Guess what?  He does not have favorites.  You too can wake up on the right side of the bed but only through Him will you find ultimate peace, contentment and happiness.

You don’t have to agree with me.  I’ve lived life with Him and without Him and trust me there is a difference.  Once you experience Him for who He truly is in all of His kindness, grace and love-it’s hard to go back to the old.  It’s hard to have the old and be satisfied.  That is  what I learned, that He satisfies me and since I’ve been satisfied it’s going to be hard for something to come and take that place.  This is the beauty of His love, this is the beauty of his grace that when all things fail, He remains the same.  I waking up on the right side of the bed, and I wish the same for you.

If you wish to talk to me about anything, feel free to reach out to me.  If you are offended, I’m not a mind reader- express yourself and comment.  I believe that we can reason together.  If you agree, comment.  I believe in positive discussions. If you are lost, ask questions.  Those who ask, learn.  Those who remain silent, live life in ignorance.  Ask away. If you believe that you do not need this type of peace, happiness or contentment then God bless you.  It’s not my job to convince you of anything but rather to share with you my heart in hopes that you will experience some of the same things.  Finally, if you are looking for an argument- there are other blogs with similar topics, argue with them! Thanks and Goodnight:)

Mo

Never Enough

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

 Sometimes I wish I could say that life is amazing and that every day consists of rainbows and sunshine, but that’s not true- sometimes there is a lot of rain.  Sometimes life floods us with thoughts, challenges and obstacles we would have never imagined.  For me, the biggest thought that floods my mind was: You’re not enough, you’ll never be enough.  The more I dwelt on this thought, the more I came to believe that it was true.  I am the spokesperson for failed relationships, every boyfriend I’ve ever had cheated or left.  They simply disappeared.  So naturally, I came to believe that there was something wrong with me.  Maybe I wasn’t skinny enough; maybe if I lost a few pounds then he would have stayed.  This thought manifested into anorexia.  Maybe I wasn’t cool enough; if I was a “down” person then he would have stayed.  That thought manifested into a bad habit of using bad language.  Instead of using words to build people up, I used them to tear people down.  Well, I began to think, maybe I wasn’t pretty enough. Maybe if I was a pretty girl with flawless skin then he would have stayed. This thought manifested into self-esteem so low, that I came to believe that I deserved to be mistreated.  I deserved to be abused.  I deserved all of these things because I was not good enough and would never be enough.

Once I received Christ completely, I thought my outlook changed.  I didn’t have an eating disorder any longer and I was no longer using bad language to fit in but instead I focused on my intelligence- hoping that would make me be enough for people.  Maybe if I was smart, then others would like me and things would open up for me, or so I thought.  I spent all of my time trying to get the highest grades- straight A’s all around.  For a little while, I was successful but as time continued studies got hard and I started settling for lower grades because I would never be enough.  I spent all of my time working multiple jobs, putting 110% into everything but instead of being appreciated and promoted I was reprimanded, realizing that I would never be enough.  I spent all my time working in the church, thinking if I did all these things for God – my life would be perfect but instead I experienced more trials and tribulations.  My work wasn’t enough.  I began to wonder, what I had to do to be successful, for something to finally work out for me.  What? When would all my efforts be enough?  When would I be enough?

It’s crazy how in the midst of this mindset, God still loves.  He identified with my thought process. He sent His Son into a world that was dying from sin, His perfect Son.  His Son was beaten and killed on my behalf, yet every day I treated Him as if He was not enough.  I sought happiness in my academic career, in a man, in my own ambitions- but failed to seek happiness in Him.  From His point of view, to me, He was not enough.  When I realized this point of my life, I began to see life differently- for real.  I began to understand that I am more than enough to God.  He loves me continuously, even when I don’t love myself.  He loves my flaws; He loves my perfections, my strengths and my weaknesses.  I will never be enough to save myself, but with Him I am more than enough.  In His eyes, I meet all of His expectations and He delights in me.  I am enough.  This realization changed everything, every single thing making every thought line up to God’s words to me.  I AM ENOUGH TO GOD and that is all that really matters.

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

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