It has been awhile since we’ve spoken. I’m graduating from undergrad in 2 mos, so I’ve been busy tying up loose ends concerning my future. Tonight, as there is five more minutes in to the next day, I ask a question: What is a friend? Can someone tell me? What is true friendship?
In a few months I will be a graduate, moving to a new city, all on my own and I realized that my friendship reservoir was limited. I realized that individuals I have been friends to- have not reciprocated my definition of friendship back to me. I can count my closest friends on my hand, actually – I can count my closest friend on one single finger. If you ask me how many best friends I have, I have one and her name is “E” short for Erica. She is my one and only best friend- we’ve been friends for 7 years now. She has seen me in my good times and has seen me in my lowest times. She has celebrated all of my accomplishments with me, mourned with me when I lost loved ones and have been a listening ear when I just needed someone to vent to. She is the closest person to me besides God & family. She is my best friend.
I have searched my entire college career for individuals to add to my inner circle of friendship. I have befriended people and have gone out of my way to be the best friend I knew how. I accepted lunch invitations and talked on the phone and counseled and I found out that those who was there for me in my suffering could not celebrate with me during my times of elevation. It’s funny how fickle people can be, when someone is going through – individuals will surround that individual and “comfort” them but when a person bounces back and everything is great- the phone calls cease. I have “friends” who forget my birthday, every single year – but when the day of their birth comes around, I go all out. I call, I text, I love. I do “the most” because I believe that friendships are connections made by God to journey with an individual through the good and the hard times. I value friendship. I value friendship in the same capacity that one values another’s life.
Today, it was as if a light bulb went off in my head. I discovered that friendship is not one sided, it’s not my job to beg for friends but to make them and if they last – great; if they don’t – oh well. Friendships ceasing has nothing to do with me, but is all apart of God’s perfect will. He knows who is ready to journey with me into my next place more than I do. God knows who is really celebrating with me and who was just faking their loyalty to me all along. God knows who had good intentions and who’s motives were never right in the first place. God knows!
The reason why “E” and I are still friends- is because she has stuck by me in all seasons of my life. She has exemplified Christ’s love in our friendship and seeks to make our friendship one that glorifies God. Her love for God and her authenticity has developed the trust that we share in our friendship. I can count on my fingers how many people I have broken down and cried in front of, she is one of them. I can count on my fingers how many people I have told about my graduate school plans first, she is one of them. I can count on my fingers how many people I have discussed my past with (intricate details), she is one of them. I can count on my fingers how many people actually took the time to pray for me like they said they would, she is one of them. She is one of the only people that would answer a 3 am phone call after I heard some bad news. She is the only one that traveled to see me in my apartment after a rough night, She is only one that has defended me when others have said things against me, She has proven her loyalty and that she can be trusted. I know who “E” is and no one can come to me and tell me anything about her that is contrary. She is my best friend- In fact, she is my sister! We will be friends forever and she is someone who is definitely coming with me into this new season of my life. I can’t say that for everyone, but I can definitely say that about her.
Back to my title, what is a true friend? A true friend is someone who is consistent, someone who you trust completely, someone you can be vulnerable with, someone who accepts you for who you are, someone who tells you the truth (no matter what) and finally someone who has your back. If your friends are not reciprocating true friendship back to you then they are taking up empty space and you need to let them go so that your true friends can enter into your life. Be blessed and enjoy time with your best friend!