Walking On Water

Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-

So maybe less than a few hours ago, I wrote a blog post called “Alone” about how I felt in that moment. After I finished blogging, I prayed again and I simply said “Jesus, I need you.” That’s it- it wasn’t deep or anything, it was pretty simple.  I needed Him to speak to me and to tell that everything was going to be alright.  And you know what guys, that’s exactly what He did…. Sometimes, people can’t see what you are going through to speak about it, and God allows this so that we would turn to Him and Him alone.  When God is building trust and intimacy with us, it seems like we’re isolated and alone but He is with us the whole time, waiting for us to reach for Him and Him alone.  He wants to be our all and all.  He wants to be our everything!

In my conversation with Him, I realized that I was afraid.  I was afraid of failure, afraid that I was going to return to my past life and simply afraid that my deliverance was going to be in vain.  I knew I was free but I constantly watched over shoulder afraid that I was going to find myself bound again in the clutches of the enemy.  Perfect love casts out all fear.  In Christ, there is freedom and in Him we are can live free fearlessly.

Tonight was reminded of the story of Peter, who was beckoned by Jesus to walk on the water. Peter was doing great until he shifted his focus off of Jesus and on the waves and winds around him, being filled with fear – he began to sink.  I felt myself sinking because I shifted my focus off of Jesus and on what was around me.  I focused on my needs, I focused on my future, and focused on how I was feeling- being filled with fear, I too began to sink into loneliness and depression.  Fear, it’s no good.  I finished my conversation with the Lord and listened to a song by Bethel Music “Walking on Water” (Spontaneous Worship- available on Youtube) and Jeremy Riddle began to sing under the influence of the Holy Ghost , “We’re walking on water, with our eyes on you.  We’re walking on water, in fearless pursuit.”  I then began to sing and walk (acting out my faith) and I told myself with each step that I was walking above fear,  I was walking above anxiety and stress.  I was walking above my past life of perversion, I was walking above doubt and I was going to live fearlessly.  In love there is no fear! In God, there is no reason to be afraid.

So tonight, I encourage you to be honest with yourself and if you need Jesus, just simply say”Jesus, I need you.”; because He’s always there waiting to reach out to us.  Walk on water fearlessly and keep your eyes on Jesus!  In love there is no fear.

Thank you for the prayers!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit : https://lisesletters.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/walking-on-water.jpg


Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers- 

Have you ever been surrounded by a crowd of people yet felt so alone? Like you didn’t fit?  Have you ever been in the company of those you love and still felt alone?  What about a best friend, yet alone? Being alone is no joke and depressing and this is the feeling that encompasses me tonight.  I feel like I am so alone, like I am talking to the air when I speak to others.  I stopped talking, I literally stopped sharing my heart with others because it’s not like they can see me: really see.  It’s crazy how you can wake up sad and try to make things better and by 9 o’clock that evening, you’re once again sad- wanting joy more than anything.  I prayed, guys I prayed so hard….and it was as if my prayers hit the ceiling.  I keep telling myself, “Simone you’re gonna get through this!  You’re gonna make it” and while  I say these words I feel myself drowning in sadness. Bound to the unspoken sentiments in my heart, and when I try to share what’s inside – what I have to say is rarely regarded.  What’s the point of talking about how you’re feeling, if you can’t trust those you talk to?  It’s crazy- I’m surrounded by people who are filled by the Holy Spirit and can “hear” from God, but  I guess it’s only selective hearing.

Maybe no one can hear my heart crying out for something more.  Maybe no one can see my tears as they fall to the ground.  It’s like I’m in the world, merely existing and not truly living… I can’t continue to live this way.

It’s times like these that I’m reminded that I’m human, in need of more grace and mercy.  I need Jesus more than I’ve ever needed Him before.  I feel so broken, so raw and so unsteady. I bet if someone blew on me, I would just fall apart- I need Him family….

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit: http://love.catchsmile.com/wp-content/uploads/Alone-145.jpg