Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-
Happy Valentine’s Day! Today is my parent’s 25th wedding anniversary, if that isn’t adorable then I don’t know what is. Yep! 25 years ago, today, my parents pledged to love each other forever. I’ve watched my parent’s marriage over the years and I am so amazed by their level of love, not only for each other but for others. I am amazed by their capacity to love! Anyways… as a special homage to them, I thought I would share the lessons I have learned from these lifetime lovers.
#1– Love is for a lifetime. My parents through their love have taught me that love is for a lifetime. Love is not a feeling for a mere moment, it’s not something that passes with time- but love is a commitment that is established forever. To them, falling out of love is not an option and divorce is never on the table. My dad told me that when he saw my mother, he knew in that instant that he wanted to spend forever with her. He knew that what God placed inside of him could only be cultivated out of him by her… PURE SWEETNESS. It’s amazing that after 25 years, he still remembers the moment that he saw her like yesterday, he was captivated by the essence of who she is. According to my parents, their love is supposed to lasts forever and though it may not always be easy, they are so willing to work through life together.
#2– Love is not about convenience. My parents believe that love is actually about the opposite, a willingness to inconvenience oneself for the good of another. This ideal of selfless love is the same love exemplified in Jesus Christ and his sacrificial death on the cross. My parents believe that when you commit to someone, you are no longer living for yourself but you are living to benefit/make better someone else. It’s crazy how much love has become a selfish ideal, centered around the feelings of oneself. In society, we are taught that love is about oneself and not about those around us… My dad loves my mother and even us his children so much that he will get up in the middle of the night and get us what we need if necessary. My mom loves my dad and us her children so much that she is so willing to give of herself. For example, every job my mom has ever worked has been centered around my sister and I’s school schedule. My mom thought it was really important that she spent that time taking us to and picking us up from school. She did not desire for my sister and I to become “latch key” kids, so she inconvenienced herself for us. That is love, the willingness to give up your own desires for the good of someone else.
#3– Love without God is not love. My parents’ marriage is centered around their own individual relationships with Christ. Their marriage is built in their view of love and compassion exemplified by Christ. This, I believe is the secret to the joy in their marriage. God is the creator of love. He is love so love absent of Him is not love. I had to swallow this hard pill, over and over again. From personal experience, I thought I could get love without God but in the end, I was left heartbroken. The beauty about God’s love is that it is unconditional, it has nothing to do with our own condition or with what we can bring to the table but rather with the essence of who He is. God loves us forever. As I watched my parents love God individually and together, I realized that His love for them is exemplified in how they love one another. They love so freely without shame or condemnation. The love with everything inside of them. They love consistently. They love so well… and that’s how God loves us, He loves us well.
Friends, I’ve been blessed to have such an amazing model of love and marriage in my life. I know that today, the love I’ve witnessed is becoming more and more rare but I believe that this lifetime love is available for everyone. I used to hate Valentine’s Day, lament about it being Singles’ Awareness Day and just lived a life of bitterness about my status and lack of “love”. However, this year- I am content because I understand that I am loved whether someone is by my side or not. I am loved by the Creator and that is enough! I believe that God has a lifetime lover for me and He is preparing us to come into union with one another. One day I will have a side-by-side of my parents wedding photo with mine and I will remember the days that I felt unloved no more. Be encouraged! You are loved already and when that amazing person comes into your life, you will forget the moments that you ever felt unloved. Happy Valentine’s Day and love well!
Until next time,