Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-
Happy Thursday! This week has been an interesting, for the lack of a better word. I sprained my ankle, had my piece published with @letsbefrankco, and begun to understand the value of good friends and company. I don’t know about you all but I remember having awful individuals in my life (friends, significant others and etc.). Bless Jesus for the come up, and now looking back here is my concise list of people that I advise one should remove from their life. Let the countdown begin!!!!
#7- The Narcissist (the one wrapped up within themselves). It’s all about them. Seriously, the world revolves around their needs,hopes and desires. If you are having a bad day, you’ll get scolded because their day was worse. If you experience a victory, you’ll feel inferior being that their victory supersedes yours. This is the friend that when you go to talk to them about you, they monopolize the conversation and it ends up being all about them. The conversation goes a little like this… “Hey girl!/ Hey! / So I wanted to tell you- / Girl, guess what? / What?/ Girl I got a new job at that swanky new restaurant in town./ Oh wow…congrats!/ Yeah girl, thought I would tell you!/ Okay, cool./ Well, I got to go. *click*(phone hangs up) Umm… okay… well… yeah.” It’s like what was on your heart was not as important as what was on your friend’s heart. Friendship is about sharing your hearts with one another, it’s about the journey. It’s talking and listening and being really considerate to each other’s needs. If you come into contact with this type of person… RUN!
#6- The Debbie Downer. Are you a glass half empty person or a glass half full type of person? I’m a glass half-full gal and I just cannot be around a negative person for too long. This is the person that no matter what is going on in the world, chooses to reflect on the worst things possible. Like… it’s like sunshine, bunnies, and rainbows do not exist in the Debbie Downer’s world. I think there is only thunderstorms, car accidents and a series of unfortunate events that exists in the universe of the Debbie Downer. Oh… and don’t get me started on how there is nothing to be grateful for. This is the person that if someone gave them a free meal, will complain about how the meal includes fries instead of tater tots. Like, why is that distinction so important? The meal is free! Debbie Downers have a way of just creating a negative atmosphere and before you know it- you’re sad, depressed or angry: even though you were in happier spirits ten minutes before. Joy is hard to come by so at all costs, protect the state of your joy and happiness and the peace of your spirit. Say goodbye to Debbie and try a different friend or acquaintance that is going to make you think about life in a positive way.
#5- The Insecure Homie. This is the person that you find yourself in competition with, even though you never signed any forms to enter the contest in the first place. This is the friend/associate that has to make it abundantly clear that they are happy all the time and that everything is working out for them as well. This is the friend/associate that instead of congratulating you on your accomplishments, feels the need to one-up you with their own “victories” This is the friend/associate that likes to gossip because fixating their time in the degradation of others makes them feel some sense of validation. This is the friend/associate that feels the need to make you question who you are in order to build themselves up. This person is not aware of themselves, neither are they secure in who God created them to be, so they strive to tear down those around them who walk in confidence. These types of people are some of the worst people to enter into relationships with because they are so willing to hurt others to get what they desire- Beware. If your friend/associate cannot celebrate you and enjoy you as a human being without feeling intimidated then I would put out an application for a new friend. At the end of the day, God made us different with strengths and weaknesses and we should be able to love each other and celebrate those strengths together.
BTWS: For romantic relationships- if he is jealous of all of your guy friends and believe that there is a possibility that you are not going to be faithful in yalls relationship then he may be insecure about being enough for you as a partner. AND VICE VERSA. If she is jealous of every female in your life including your best friend from K5 – then she may be insecure about being enough for you as a partner. This is why you’re always faced with the accusations of cheating and this question of trust. Because in reality, these individuals do not think highly of themselves to believe that their partner will be faithful in their love and commitment to them and therefore they project that fear onto their partnerships. (this is where you see all of the games played and nonsense… smh…)
#4- The Secret- Teller. Are you a refrigerator? My mom taught me that a refrigerator is the person that can hold something, the person that people can confide in with assurance that what was spoken to them will – stay with them. Some people are not refrigerators, they can’t hold water. The secret-teller is the person that you share a secret with and then the next day, you hear what was shared from someone you did not talk to. Do you know how embarrassing that is? To share your heart (intimate details and all) with one person and hear your exact words out of the mouth of another? Like..it’s mortifying! And then you question yourself, like “did I share this with them?” Oh my goodness, it’s so awful. This type of person is always “accidentally” sharing your business with others. They are always in the know/”nosey” and to me, cannot be trusted. How can I trust and confide into someone that is always going to share my business? Once you spot this person in your life, limit what you share! Only share what you want the world to know and understand that this person, though super sweet and nice – might not be able to handle certain facts about you.
#3- The Ghost. Umm… this is the person that appear and disappear out of your life on their terms. It’s like now you see them, now you don’t. This is the person that comes into your life, builds a relationship with you and as soon as you become attached to their presence- they’re gone! I remember being friends with Casper, I spoke with him on the daily and then one day-*poof*- he was gone. I don’t know why people ghost or leave unexpectedly but I do know that you cannot allow these people to taint your view of love, commitment, relationships and life. Move forward and maintain relationships with those that have proven themselves consistent.
#2-The Perpetual Victim. This is the person that no matter what happens, they are going to blame you for their unhappiness. Oh… and don’t make a mistake one time because then you’ve given them the script for their soap opera, featuring them as the perpetual victim. This is the person that manipulates you into constant guilt. They use phrases like, “because of you, I’m the way I am.” or “You made me this way” or “Look at what you did.” It’s like they find pleasure in stacking these huge layers of guilt and blame on you, to justify their bad behavior. Please disconnect yourself from anyone that makes you feel this way. If God does not place such heavy shame and condemnation upon us, why should we accept that type of shame and condemnation from anyone else?
#1- The Leech. This is the person that sucks the living life out of you. Like, they drain everything out of you. After being with them, you feel void of life and energy. These types of people are emotionally draining, and you start to see the effects on your physique. I would encourage you to separate yourself from these type of people, because relationships (in any form) like these are not healthy or productive for your growth as a human being. God created from us to thrive and to live life abundant in him. He did not create us to be drained by the cares of life or the parasitic tendencies of toxic people. Trust me, there are some amazing people in the world that will make life a whole lot better! These individuals will be a breath of fresh air and add to who you are, these individuals are a blessing.
Well guys, I hope you enjoyed my countdown. I’m so sorry for the late post, life kinda caught up with me but I enjoyed sharing my heart with each of you. Stay positive, stay strong, and stay in pursuit of God! I love you all and goodnight…
Until next time,