Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-
Happy Thursday! Thurdsdays are wonderful because they mean that we are a few days away from the weekend. I hope you all are having a great day! I have a confession to make- I HATE the way my generation enters into relationships!!!! LIKE, I REALLY HATE IT. Maybe I’m just an old soul, but I am so attracted to the way my parents and grandparents approached dating, marriage and long-term relationships. A term that just irritates the heck out of me is this new form of dating entitled “hanging out”. OMG that phrase used in the romantic context drives me up a wall…
When someone tells me they want to “hang out”: my mind goes platonic/ friendship, casual clothing, chill-mode. To me, I have no incentive to place any effort into the interaction that I may/may not experience. SO… when a guy asks for my number and then ask if we can hang out, I’ve already placed them into the friend-zone. I hang with my friends and I date potential significant others. This notion of I’m going to monopolize your time, require effort to test your potential without placing in effort myself, and expect girlfriend benefits without the label is very damaging to relationships. Like, back in the day- if a guy wanted to date you or pursue something romantically with you- like, he asked you out on a date. He planned the date. He picked you up for the date, maybe opened doors for you and made you very aware of his intentions with you. Today, the conversations are like- “Let’s hang out, maybe grab a bite- not really sure.” “I’ll call you, maybe- probably text you and we’ll meet up maybe.” It’s so fickle. Like: one day you’re digging me, one day you’re not. One day you want a relationship, one day it’s too much for you and you’re confused. Like bruh, it’s not that deep! Let us not continue to waste time.
So, I’m not feeling this hook-up culture masked under a common phrase “hanging out.” Dinner dates never go out style, chivalry is still a cool thing to have and phone calls are so much better than text messages. And guess what? Having standards is awesome too! Let’s hang with our friends and date those we develop feelings for.
***Side-note: I think this “hang-out/faux dating/hook up”culture is rooted in this deep-seeded fear of rejection by both men and women and this was like our band-aid to remedy the situation but that’s another blog post for another day… ***
Until next time,