I thought I was going to post something traditional,
something with the same previous opening- something super inspirational.
But it is I, that is inspired as I reflect on the significance of this day.
In frustration and with deliberate disobedience I left my room to “play”,
to gamble with my life.
Three years ago, I drove to my friend’s house going through a stop sign- not looking twice.
I was hit dead-on and my car spun out of control,
that moment reflected how I felt about my life- I thought I lost my soul.
I opened my eyes and saw smoke and sunshine,
a calming piece became my lifeline.
Only problem, it was raining that day.
The skies were foggy and gray.
So I knew I was between earth and heaven-
I wasn’t ready for an eternal transition.
Because based upon my sins, I knew I would make my bed in hell.
Yet, on earth I felt like I was in jail.
Trapped, stuck and simply contained-
no one knew, I never complained.
Went to church regularly,
wore a fake smile faithfully-
yet wanted to desperately,
to be free.
Figured, no one truly cared about my end,
and if this car wreck was the just the beginning,
to an eternal damnation – well so be it.
God’s plans with my twisted thoughts did not fit.
Once again, I opened my eyes and realized I was still here-
still among the living to my heart who are dear.
I became overwhelmed with gratitude since life was not deserved to me.
That day, three years ago, I swore to strive to live free.
The rest is history.
©Simone Holloway, 2016