Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers- 

Today is a somber day for many, myself included, as we reflect on life in the aftermath of the passing of Kobe Bryant and his beautiful daughter, Gianna.  The world is in this state of shock and silence.  Loved ones are holding each other a little closer and we all feel the effects of grief.  This tragedy did a number on my heart, as Kobe was my favorite basketball player.  I became a Lakers fan because I was a Kobe fan.   I stopped watching basketball once Kobe retired, so my heart took a significant blow when I learned of his death.  Once I found out his little girl passed at thirteen years old, the waterworks started to flow and I started analyzing everything.  How was I spending my time?  Was I fulfilling all God called me to do?  Was I choosing to live well?  Death has no prejudice and comes when it wants to for whoever it desires.

Early this morning, I received an email that killed my potential career.  I applied for my dream job, it was perfect for me.  I had the educational background, the clinical experiences and it was an opportunity that I had prayed for a million times.  Yet, that dream died with a line of rejection.  I not only didn’t get the job but those who responded made it a point to remind me that I wasn’t qualified enough for the position.  Once again, I’m faced with this reality of not being enough.  So like my favorite basketball player, my dream was being laid to rest.

What do we do when our dreams die?  When what we hoped for is no more?  

I don’t have a clear cut answer.  I’m not an expert and as I live this thing out – I don’t know all to do.  I’m going to start with leaning into grief.   I say let’s mourn these deaths.  Let’s cry, let’s get angry, let’s question and let us find ourselves looking to the One who created us.  Let us process through and find love in our community along the way.  I am not in this mood to dismiss disappointment.  Life sucks! That is the honest truth.  Sometimes, life is going to be full of tears and agony but that doesn’t change what is true:  God is good. He’s good in the midst of loss and He’s good in times of gain.  He’s good when we’re certain and He remains good when we are full of doubt.  He’s good through our heartbreak and he’s good when we are whole.  He is and will forever be good.  And since He is good, He will use even this  (our loss, our disappointment, and pain) for good.   This is the only hope that I have and this is the only truth that is sustaining me right now.

Please love on those around you a little more today.  Be intentional about making sure that those you love know that you love them.  Give out lots of hugs, create beautiful memories and make sure you laugh as much as you can!  Tomorrow is not guaranteed so loves, take advantage of today!

I love y’all!

Xoxo,

Simone