Addiction

smoke fills my lungs
exhale!
some would say I'm a walking time bomb
just waiting to E-X-P-L-O-D-E
staring at this dark brown strong drink
in one of my favorite short glasses
Oh, what am I doing here?
All alone in the back
take a swig...
exhale!
I look around and everyone seems content

the complete opposite of me
Empty and lifeless
Driven by pleasure
One- night stands...
why not?
What do I have to lose????
He walks in
His cologne, sensuality - he targets me
His brown eyes, finding mine
magnetism on his side, attaching him to me
"Can I buy you another drink?"
Nodding the approval of my destruction
And he being sent from Satan, enabled my addiction
©Simone Holloway, 2015

Tonight’s poem is written from another’s perspective- one who is lifeless and empty: stuck into this addictive mindset, thriving off the high of destruction.  I don’t drink, smoke and I’m still a virgin- but I believe that we all have sabotaging things in our lives that cause our downfall and when we are empty, we succumb to these vices.  In our loneliness we are the most vulnerable and in our lack of hope- we destroy ourselves.  Tonight’s poem was kind of depressing and dark but I hope that you all can understand that those who are without love of any kind are some of the most hopeless people.  This is why I started this blog, I wanted share love to those- who were without so that they can know that someone out in the world truly cares about them.  Lately, I’ve been questioning my blog- because I noticed that viewership decreased drastically.  My voice all of sudden felt worthless and I fell to my own vices, as discontentment and emptiness began to settle into my heart.  The bible talks about casting our cares upon God because He cares about us, instead I held onto my cares- afraid that nothing I did would change my result,  Fear can rob us of some of the most meaningful moments in our lives, it can strip us of happiness and take away our joy.  This fear, loneliness and rejection is the root of many addictions and sabotaging behavior.  In an effort to not allow anyone to hurt us, we hurt ourselves.  Family and friends, if this is you that I described, I walked in your shoes and I am here for you.  If no one else cares about you, I care and I am just a prayer away.  I love you all!

Until next time,

Mo 🙂

Featured Image Credit: http://www.fahadkhan.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/addictionmain.jpg

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