Hello old friends, new followers and fellow bloggers-
Today is going to be interesante, because I am going to publish twice today. It’s a rare phenomenon that I have time to publish two different articles, but two different titles came to me- so I am going to share these life lessons with you.
Sometimes I sit to write and God gives me titles that are like super cool, that is how I felt about the title to today’s post. I sat in my bed and said “Lord this can go either two ways, it can go really good or it can go really bad- those who read can connect or they don’t.” I like to make sure that I don’t write anything inherently offensive, but sometimes people will get offend- it’s apart of the job. So, I’m sitting here, and I began to think about the concept of comparison. We love to compare people. I think we like comparisons so much because we are a people that thrive in a land of categories. Think about it! We have like 10 categories on our government documents: race, ethnicity, income median, age, etc…blah blah blah…SO MANY CATEGORIES. We have so much information that we use to compare ourselves to someone else. We do…It’s like we are supplied the ammunition we need to hurt others and sometimes ourselves. It’s like we were born to compare and be compared.
So I sat and I thought about how I compared myself with others over the years. I compared my beauty, intelligence and stability level to my friend’s beauty, intelligence and stability level. In a new relationship, I would compare myself to my boyfriend’s exs- to see if I was better or worst in comparison, like it was some kind of unspoken competition. This mindset caused a majority of my relationships to fail ( friendships included).
You can’t have friends if you are always competing with them. No one wants to date the person that is striving to one up their past- no. one.
This obsession with comparisons and competition stemmed from my own insecurities in who I was as an individual. Because I didn’t think highly of myself, I felt like I had to always prove that I was the best, the prettiest, the smartest. This “mandate” was not only exhausting but unnecessary. Very unnecessary.
Nowadays, I have come to love me. I realize that I have strengths and weaknesses, but there is only one me. No one can be like me, no one can live my life for me, no one can erase my significance here on the earth. There is only one me and I was fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator. When you realize who you are, you realize that you are special and unique and the “wanna be” cannot ever be you. Period. When you are your authentic, real self – there is no need for competition in friendships or relationships. There is no need to compare yourself to your significant other’s past relationships. There is no need- there is NO unspoken competition.
In regards to romantic relationships, sometimes we trip ourselves up because we feel like our significant other’s ex has some type of advantage over us. “They have history,” “She/He was their first love” “Their families are close.” To tell you the truth, I really DON’T CARE about those excuses. The truth is, if your significant other wanted to be with their ex – they would still be with them but apparently their ex did not have something that your significant other was looking for- YOU DID! NOT THEM, YOU! SO APPARENTLY there must be something wonderful about you. There is something inside of you that caused that person to fall head over heels in love with you, it’s in you. So don’t feel the need to say what you are not, and what you don’t have because those things don’t matter- there is something great within you!
And finally, let me tell you something hon. Even if your boyfriend/girlfriend decides to leave and go back to their past – that’s not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you, that’s between them and God. You was the real deal and when they go back to the past, what’s in you will not be found in their past suitor. You can’t compare me with the wanna be. That should encourage you to hold your head up high. I dare you tell somebody, “Honey, you can’t compare me with the wanna be.” There is greatness within you and you cannot be compared with someone else.
I hope ya’ll have a great day and be on the lookout for my next post later today! If you haven’t already like our page on Facebook @ http://www.facebook.com/authenticlove789. Thanks and I’ll talk to you guys soon!
Until next time,
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