Hello old friends, new followers, and fellow bloggers-
I’m an old soul, born circa ’93 but in my heart, I feel like I’m from an earlier era. I love phone calls. Yep, I’m one of those weird people that rather receive a phone call than an email or a text message. It’s something about hearing the voice of those you love, it’s comforting yet exciting. It’s a simple way of building connection and intimacy, two things that I hold dear.
I have a friend who is a master of connection. She is the only one I know that loves phone calls, facetime, and face to face meetings. It’s like she feels no anxiety as she bares herself to me in conversation. Every time I’m with her I feel safely loved, heard and just free to be myself! Over the past eight months, she has taught me about connection: both with God and others.
I realized that I shied away from connection because it allowed people to see me. And I mean see me: in rawness, brokenness and undone. Yet, it is this baring of oneself that builds intimacy and connection. If you cannot see me fully, then you cannot know me and you cannot love me. Now, I find myself putting my phone down in the company of others, preferring face time calls, and wanting to have amazing conversations over a hot cup of coffee. I prefer connection because to me: it’s raw, it’s intimate, and it’s real. Who wants to be in relationships and cannot be real? Who wants to invest in something that only appears to be close? That only appears to be solid? Not me. I’m good without the facade. Give me the real, where I can hear in your voice that you’re not good. The real, where I don’t have to decode your text messages or wonder why you used a certain emoji? Instead of laughing emojis, I want to hear the ones I love laugh and I want to know that they are laughing from a genuine place. At the end of the day, we all want something real. Now, for my friends who are not like me, I’ve mastered my text game: GIFS, emojis, and short paragraphs of text but in my heart, I love a good phone call!
So why talk about phone calls? Well… maybe because we live in a world where people desperately want to feel connected. To something, to anything; to someone, to anyone. There are people all around us who want to know that they are seen, heard, loved and valued. If we look up from our screens and start looking into the face of those around us, maybe we will build connections based on the raw, based on the real. It’s harder to forget about those whose voices you hear frequently- that’s why when someone is around you all the time, you find yourself feeling closer to them. On the flip side, those we only engage with via social media from time to time and even through an occasional text, sometimes we forget about them. We forget to see how they are doing, beyond the highlight reel, we forget that we were once apart of their lives. Our friendships lack communication, our relationships lack depth and before you know it, it’s easier to move on breaking covenants because what we had lacked the real- it lacked connection beyond a keyboard.
I encourage you to look up! To be aware of those around you. I encourage you to come out of your comfort zone and to connect. I love phone calls, but it’s because at the end of the day I am okay with vulnerability. Are you okay with being vulnerable? Are you okay with revealing who you are to have depth in your relationships? It’s okay if you’re not ready yet. It’s okay if vulnerability frightens you, but I can guarantee that the level of love you desire is only coming through vulnerability. What you want in your friendships and relationships is only going to come through revealing who you are, baring yourself to your inner circle. Depth only comes through the raw, it’s only strengthened through the real. Happy connecting!