Hello Authentic Lovers,
Maybe a month and a half ago, I published an article called “Dear Ten- Year Old Self” it was letter full of regret and angst at my current love life. It was my way of saying that I was destined to be alone, which is totally not true. It was probably the most depressing piece of literature I have ever written; it was REALLY depressing.
So today…I was in my kitchen thinking about the last few articles written and decided that my perception of love and how I’ve experienced it has darkened my views. Love is not as bad as I have made it out to be. In fact, love is a beautiful gift that should be treasured and acquired by many. Those who are hurting, project this image of a broken world because of their own brokenness and that is the image I was projecting- an image of brokenness. I was so broken, to the point that I thought I could not be repaired; but God works with things that seem to be impossible, things that cannot be salvaged. He relishes in the lost causes. I thought I was a lost cause, a tragic story that had no hope in its ending- I was wrong. I was so wrong about God, about love and about myself. I saw myself as weak, vulnerable, a victim- a target just waiting for the next broken heart, but that is not who I am. I am not weak, fragile, broken; I’ve been made whole and should live my life as such. I was not the same little girl that always felt unloved, nor did I have the same little heart that had been smashed into a million pieces- I was no longer her. The funny thing about life is that sometimes little people grow up battling the same demons, feeling the same way, going through the same motions of childhood, of adolescence.
As I’m writing to you, I feel a sense of rebirth and renewal- something that my middle name (Renee) means but I have yet to truly experience. I sense this difference in mindset and I’ve come to understand that the same God I thought wanted to hinder love from me was the same God begging for me to receive His love. God has loved me from the beginning of time and yet I sought after this love in people, in places, in things. I’ve searched for my prince charming, like a princess without a home; when I had a prince waiting for me to embrace the gift of His life. You know, sometimes we have to hurt- we have to experience pain to learn a lesson, to truly move forward.
Pain is not a curse but rather a gift, a signal to instruct us that we are in the wrong place- that we shouldn’t be comfortable with what we have. Pain distinguishes what is good and bad for us and therefore comes in handy. I was seeing pain as this obsolete apparition that followed me into every stage of life, but rather pain was making me and shaping me into the strong young woman I have become. Pain was my blessing and it’s life lessons have helped me grow.
So if I could write a new letter to myself at ten, I would say “Stay the same- be you!” Yes, there will be pain. Yes, people will hurt you. Yes, at times you will feel alone- but remain true to yourself. Love with everything inside of you and realize that the prince you seek so badly is waiting for you with His arms outstretched, waiting to give you His life. Today, I am loved. I am strong. I am fearless. Does that mean I have everything together? No. Does that mean that I don’t have more learning to do? Oh course not! But I am not longer the victim, waiting for my demise. I am the victor, the one that overcame and chose to love in spite of. I am no longer broken, I am whole. This is who I am and I don’t apologize for living my life as such.
If you’ve felt like me once upon a time in your life, I would love to hear about it! Feel free to share your thoughts with me. I hope that this post tonight encourages you and helps you realize that you are stronger than you think. I believe in you! I believe in your dreams and ambitions. I believe in the greatness of what you was created to be. Lastly, I believe in the power of your love. I know that your love can change the world for the better. Love is powerful, the same way it can be used to destroy is the same way it can be used to heal. Love healed me. God’s love healed me and it made into the person that I am today. I believe in your love. If you need anything- someone to talk to or just a friend, you can reach me via email: firstname.lastname@example.org, like my page on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/authenticlove789. Follow me on Twitter @framesofdust8 and finally join my Instagram family: @lawnmusic578. I can’t wait to hear from you and we’ll speak soon!
Until next time,